Need advice for a touchy situation!!!

bceogirl

bceogirl

Cathlete
Hi Everyone,
I've found myself in a awkward situation and am wondering if anyone has suggestions as to how I should handle it.
I've gone to the same dentist for many years. No one in my family has ever needed anything more than a filling while seeing him and of course we'd get our teeth cleaned there. All was well until last year, when he filled a tooth that he said was a "tiny little spot" , a "fast and easy one to fill". Well, it hurt for months after that filling. I called the office several times and was told to give it more time. Finally when I was there for a cleaning and complained about it again because it never stopped hurting and now was very sensitive.....he looked at it and all he did was shoot some air on it (I about went through the ceiling!) and told me I needed a root canal. He sent me to a different dentist because he doesn't do root canals and told me to come back for the crown.
Well, I ended up going to a totally different dentist. I went to the one my parents go to. They LOVE him. Well , he didn't automatically think I needed a root canal.....he tried other things first, including many xrays to try to see exactly what the trouble was. And he DID say the filling was a HUGE one, that there was more filling than tooth! (not what my other dentist had said) And his suspicion was that under the filling my tooth was cracked. (it wasn't before the filling, but could have happened during it)
Anyway , I did end up eventually needing the root canal anyway, but I'm not happy with how fast the original dentist sent me off to have one.........nor that he didn't exactly level with me about the filling.
No problem with switching dentists under normal circumstances, but it just so happens that my dentist is my neighbor!
He is a very friendly guy and I see him around the neighborhood quite often! For now I've been avoiding him, just because I think this is so awkward.
Anyway suggestions on how to handle this.......what to say to him?
Should I just talk to him here in the neighborhood or call the office to say I'm leaving......?
Sorry for the length of this letter. I just hope someone can help me.
I am terrible with confrontations anyway, but think this is especially awkward.
Thanks
 
Wow. That is a touchy situation. As you say, if he was just your dentist, no problem, but the neighbour aspect complicates things.

You say that you see him around the neighbourhood often, so I assume that means that you don't hang out with him and his family. Personally, I would contact his office and let them know you're changing dentists. If he then approaches you personally in the neighbourhood and asks why he doesn't see you anymore, perhaps you could explain that you wanted to go to a dentist that offers more services (e.g. he doesn't do root canals). Or tell him your parents threatened to disown you if you didn't go to their dentist?:p

I don't think you owe him a personal explanation, as he's only an acquaintance and not a real friend. If you're really brave, you could explain that you didn't like the way your problem with the filling was handled.

Just my 2 cents!
 
Maybe you can make something up and tell the receptionist (when you call to have your x-rays transferred to the new dentist) you have to go to another dentist for insurance reasons? Your coverage changed and it would be less expensive at this other place....

He might not even notice you changed dentists. He just might think you haven't been in for a while or something. :)

Or...just switch but don't ever mention anything. You have to do what's best for you. He messed up and wasn't honest with you. You have every right to switch and you really shouldn't even have to explain yourself or confront him.
 
I would just go to a new dentist ,and not say a word .Ouch that worries me . I just had a tooth Break (A Molar) Anyway any air ,talking ,cold water, was killing it . The dentist put a temp,filling in there . Anyhow he said he would not know until my next appointment if it needs a root canal or just a crown . I'm so scared ,I never heard of such a thing . I thought the x-ray would tell him what I needed . Its 600$without the root canal .And 1200 $ with it Gees no insurance either darn it !!x( x( x(
 
Hi Becky-
I've also recently has issues with dentists...even to the point where I recently "fired" mine. Being in the military, I've learned a lot about the practices of some dentists. I never had any problems with my first dentist but when we moved to a new post, my new dentist promptly informed me that I needed a root canal and had 5 cavities!!! I was shocked because I'm very particular about my oral hygiene and floss every day and brush 2ce a day, but went through all of the procedures anyway. After that, everytime I went back (every 6 months or so), I was fine. I don't think I had any cavities after that. Now that we've moved again I had to find a new dentist. This dentist told me that I had 5 cavities (now mind you, it's been 6 months since my last visit to the dentist) and my crown from my root canal was put on incorrectly. He also told me that my cavities are a result of not flossing!! The nerve of that guy assuming that I don't floss!! He didn't even ask me what my hygiene routine was!!! I became very distrustful of him at that point. As I was leaving his office, he told me it was very important that I schedule my fillings right away. I was hesitant but did so anyway. He told me that he would be using white fillings and when I asked him what the difference between white and silver fillings, he told me that they cost more!! WHATEVER!!! I left his office feeling very confused. Then I remembered how my last dentist was when I became a new patient. I started wondering if it was common for dentists to do a lot of unnecessary work on new patients just because they can. I began asking other people I know about this and many of them had the same kinds of things happen to them. I felt that I had no choice, I had to fire him. I wrote him an email to let him know that I was getting a second opinion and that I need all of my records sent to my address and that was that. I think that if you don't trust your health care provider, you need to find someone you feel comfortable with. I know it's awkward to do it sometimes, but I think it sends a strong message to the provider that may help them improve their practice for future patients. If I were you, I would tell them to their face that you appreciate all of their services in the past but will be using the services of someone else and you hope that you can still be friends. This is just my opinion of course, but I feel that you need to feel secure with anyone giving you health care! That is the bottom line for me.
Carolyn
 
I am in the middle of a BAD situation myself, my dentist blotched up my crown. I am trying to get a peer review of her work, but still have to see her one more time, before I know if she'll agree to let the MDA review her. I've cried more than one time about this. I am sitting right now $650 out, a blotched crown, and a tooth open for infection and 5 months pregnant. I'm very upset and freaked out.

If you care to read my complaint here it is. I'm also thinking of reporting her to the Missouri Dental Board.

This request is for a review of dental services given by Dr. Highsmith.

In December of 2004 I went to see Dr. Highsmith for a routine follow up visit after having a root canal performed by an endodontist. During the visit she made an impression of my rear upper molar and drilled the tooth down flat. She explained little on the work she had done, or the care I would need next. I was told to make an appointment after the crown came in back from the lab. I left the office with no protection covering on my molar, which the dental hygienist pointed out, but Dr. Highsmith said she wasn’t putting one on. When the crown came in I put off getting the crown put in promptly due to personal time constraints. I came in on May 24, 2005 to have the crown put in. Dr. Highsmith said the crown may need to be altered due to the fact I waited so long to have it put in, and she told me my tooth may have moved over the time duration. I was very surprised by this, as she never relayed this information to me on my last appointment. It was never conveyed to me that there was a time frame I needed to come in by for the crown to fit properly. She put the crown in and then the appointment was over.

The crown didn’t feel right and when I got home I examined my mouth. The back left side of my mouth where the crown was put in, those teeth were hitting. When I looked at my right side of my mouth there was an obvious gap on all the back teeth. I called her office as soon as I finished examining my mouth and told the receptionist my problem. When I returned I told her my back teeth weren’t all hitting and it was uncomfortable. She examined my mouth, said they were touching. Abruptly she told me if I wanted, she would drill on them more. She drilled on my crown and lower tooth bellow the crowed molar. She informed me that is as far as she wanted to drill and told me there was no charge and left for another patient. While I was there for this follow up visit, she never asked me if my mouth felt right or natural. With the extremely poor doctor-patient rapport she had with me, I felt intimidated by her. I did not feel at all comfortable to approach her again. Back home I once again inspected my mouth and the right side of my mouth still showed an obvious gap between the back teeth. Also my bite was so uncomfortable my teeth were sliding to the right, causing strain on my jaw.

Being very frustrated and unsatisfied with her I made an appointment on May 26, 2005 with my previous dentist, Dr. Rothenbergh, who had done the emergency procedure in April of 2004 on the tooth the crown was put on to relieve the pain I was experiencing. He told me the crown did not fit on all sides of my tooth properly, and that the crown left a gap at the gum line exposing adhesive and tooth material, where he felt strongly that in a matter of six months or so an infection was very probable to grow. His assessment came to several conclusions during my visit. The first was that I should have been explained by Dr. Highsmith that my tooth could move if a crown wasn’t put in right away. Secondly that the tooth should have been given a protective covering for the time frame that I would be waiting for the crown to be put in. Third he could see that the crown did not fit. And finally, that her work left my tooth exposed, creating an environment for probable infection. Dr. Rothenbergh told me it was possible to repair the crown that was but in, but his conclusion to his examination was that the best action to take would be to remove the current crown completely and put in a whole new crown. He then drilled on the crown to allow my bite to fit comfortably and informed me of the possible recourse for Dr. Highsmith’s work. So I now am asking for a peer review for a further assessment of the matter.


You could do the same if you really wish but it will be for your state.
 
Wow, Julie, your story is very scary. I'm sorry for what you are going through and hope you get it resolved. You shouldn't have to pay all these bills for services that another dentist has said isn't correct and that has left you in this situation!!! UGH

Thanks everyone for your responses. I will add a few details to my story. One being that I've already picked up my xrays, I was a chicken and told the lady at the desk that the dentist doing the root canal needed them before he did the proceduce. *true, but I wasn't meaning the dentist he sent me to*. She sounded snippy but told me I had to come in and sign them out. Fine, I did.

Something else is that yes we are more aquaintances than friends, but when I walk, he always stops me if he is outside and chats.....he knows the whole family and asks about what they are all doing , etc.. So I KNOW when he see's me he'll ask if I went and had the root canal, and I could honestly say YES, I did, but his next question will be when am I coming back in for the crown and that's where I would get all tongue tied and not know how to respond.
I'm just not good at all in these types of situations.

So thank you all who have written with suggestions. I appreciate it. It is frightening to see how many people have had problems with their dentists though.
Ugh. Not a reassuring thought!!!
 
If you don't generally talk to your dentist as a neighbor, then you should tell him in the office. As most don't like people to knock on their door and say, I don't need your service any more thank you for all the work. When its their day/time off from work.

Just simply call and ask for your x-rays to be transfered if you feel comfortable with that. Though in a lot of states you actually got to go down in person and sign the form for the first dentist to send them to the second dentist. So if your not comfortable you may just forget the xrays and see the new dentist. If you leave all your x-rays and info at the other dentist that is usually one of the best ways to get a true second opinion, as they won't have another doctors opinion. A lot of times if one doctor says this, then if you try to get a second opinion but they know ahead of time what the first doctor said, the next doctor trys to confirm what the first doctor said, instead of really standing back and looking at the problems. And this maybe something you want to do with your family at least for the first visit, just to make sure this guy didn't screw up anything else on anyone you care about.

As mistakes do happen, but they should at least come out and say, hey your tooth was a lot weaker then it should have been, so when I was drilling the hole expanded faster then should have, so you'll have more filling then what was planned.

Good luck,

Kit
 
On a slightly different perspective, many people become excitable at the thought of having a large cavity drilled or a large filling put in. Dentists often try to be careful with the terminology they use or the words because people become easily agitated.

My dentist is conservative and likes to fill until there is not enough tooth to be filled anymore. If you add a tiny decay to a tooth with a large filling it can equal a very large filling! Perhaps your dentist knew that a root canal or crown was in your near future but had difficulty informing you of that at the time........ Especially if you are quasi-friends or neighbors.

My grandpa once told me that doctors/dentists are human and that based on your symptoms they "guess" until they figure out what is wrong with you. Many people put doctors/dentists on a huge pedestal. I would hate to practice medicine myself, lol!
 
I agree! But most professionals kind of figure it comes with the territory that some people will change providers eventually. I've changed doctors before and never had an incident. Although, I did call a shrink once, talk briefly with her, decide against her, thanked her for her time, and said goodbye. She called back 3 minutes later and chewed me out. This was a therapist!! Good thing I chose in favor of someone else.
Which is all to say, it's your mouth, not his. I appreciate your discomfort, but I think you could just say up front, you like him as a neighbor, you liked him as a dentist, but circumstances have changed and now you're seeing someone else and you don't want that decision to be uncomfortable for either of you.
if he takes that the wrong way, his problem more than yours.
Good luck!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top