Need a woman's opinion

J

jackie7

Cathlete
A friend of mine's husband left this on a woman's facebook wall. This was to a friend.


have a great christmas and new year! give my best to the boys........and my girl!

Now, I think this is totally inappropriate for a married man to leave on another woman's wall. My husband sees no harm because this is a friend. What do you think?
 
I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Friends are friends, whether they're a different gender or not. I know a lot of married people that post on the walls of friends who aren't the same gender. What's the big deal?
 
I thought that referring to someone other than his wife as "my girl" would send the wrong message to a friend.
 
Well, whose "his" girl? It doesn't sound like he was referring to the lady he left the message too. Does she have a daughter or something? It sounds rather innocent actually to me. But not knowing what he's referring to may makes a difference.

Example - One of the guys my dad used to work with (who is a friend of both him and my mom) used to call me his "girl". It was a term of affection, like I was one of his kids or something. So, for him to post something on even my mom's page and tell her to say Merry Christmas to "his girl" wouldn't be an issue. It's all about what he was talking about. The way it was used on the wall post basically said to say Merry Christmas to his girl - maybe it's a Lab! :)
 
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Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it, but I am admitedly open about male-female relationships. Is the problem with the wording of "my girl", like maybe the worry is he has a child by another woman?? Lots of people tell me to say hello to "my girl" when they want me to tell DD hello. They use the same phrase.
 
Who is "my girl"? I am assuming it is the woman in question.

I don't see anything inappropriate. It is something that I would say to a friend, male or female. That's my boy, that's my girl ..... To me it means nothing other than I have affection for this person, certainly not a love interest.
 
That's the danger of looking at what other people post. You don't know what the joke is. I've had things COMPLETELY misunderstood that were so innocent. Does his wife have a problem with it? "My Girl" could be their dog.
 
His wife felt hurt that he referred to this woman as "my girl". As far as she knows, they are just friends.
 
Again....she's making assumptions. He KNOWS she has Facebook and that it would be easy for him to see what's posted. What you post is fed to your friend's. If there was something less than innocent going on, he'd have to be a complete moron to put it out there for his wife to see. She just needs to ask him what's the deal and then she'll feel silly when she finds out.
 
dss62467 said:
Again....she's making assumptions. He KNOWS she has Facebook and that it would be easy for him to see what's posted. What you post is fed to your friend's. If there was something less than innocent going on, he'd have to be a complete moron to put it out there for his wife to see. She just needs to ask him what's the deal and then she'll feel silly when she finds out.
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ITA. She also needs to ask herself why she feels insecure about the relationship, at least that's what it appears to me. Is there something else going on that makes her feel uncomfortable?
 
I think he has had an affair before. She has never said it but I get the impression that something had happened.
 
Ahhhh, that would explain her feelings. It's tough to rebuild trust in a relationship once it's been compromised, and sometimes it never happens.
 
jackie7 said:
I thought that referring to someone other than his wife as "my girl" would send the wrong message to a friend.
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I read "my girl' as refering to the woman's child (but it's a strange way of putting it, unless he's the father!)
 
OK - IF he had an affair in the past, it's not unreasonable that she'd be upset by this. He's a moron. However, that wasn't indicated in the original post. In general, there's nothing wrong with it.
 
I would personally be upset if I was the wife. Just from personal experiences...

He probably never thought she would see it, but again, that is just an assumption on my part. If he means what I think he means, yes, I do think it is a bit flirty. JMO.
 
jackie7 said:
A friend of mine's husband left this on a woman's facebook wall. This was to a friend.


have a great christmas and new year! give my best to the boys........and my girl!

Now, I think this is totally inappropriate for a married man to leave on another woman's wall. My husband sees no harm because this is a friend. What do you think?
Click to expand...

I'm with you Jackie. What strikes me odd is why he would WANT to call his friend "my girl." Seems like that would be a more appropriate endearment for his wife or daughter(s). And, the friend's husband/partner might not appreciate it. It certainly doesn't mean anything inappropriate is going on of course, I would just find it odd. I would also never refer to a male friends as "my boy." But then, I find that many people don't have the same boundaries DH and I do. As a married couple there are certain things we reserve for each other, not because we don't trust each other or want to control the other; we do it out of respect for each other, and respect for our partnership.

Sparrow

ETA: my first reaction was the same as Kathryn's that he was referring to a child.
 
I think it's a bit flirty, too, if he was talking to the woman. I know several people who got involved in internet affairs that broke up marriages, so I may be a little suspicious.

Erica
 
If he left this note on a female friend's wall it doesn't sound to me like the "my girl" was meant for her (the woman on facebook). It sounds like it was aimed at someone else. It truly sounds to me like he is referring to her children when says "the boys" and "my girl". JMO. Perhaps she should ask him and see what he says before she jumps to any conclusions??
 
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