My son thinks eating nutritiously is an eating disorder...

F

fitmom24

Cathlete
Hi. I was floored this a.m. by my 13 y.o. son. Let me preface this by saying he is a complainer and very negative and very smart.

He sat at the breakfast table to his skim milk and Nutrigrain waffles and looked at me with a look that tells me oh oh-here it comes. He told me that my allowing him and his 3 brothers to have Pop-Tarts as a special treat after lunch or dinner and not at breakfast time is totally ridiculous and that he brought this subject up with his paternal Grandmother and father's girlfriend. They both laughed and said how "silly" and obsessive I am.

I have tried to teach all of my boys healthy eating/exercise habits but I never ban any food from our house. He KNOWS this. Just the day before I bought Cocoa Bumpers upon his request. I will allow the Cocoa Bumpers a few times a week but not every a.m. Anyway, he made some additonal comments and told me that I have some new undiscovered eating disorder because I care too much about nutrition and exercise. I couldn't help but fall to his level and retort that his Grandmother and all of her kids are fat and his dad's girlfriend truly has an eating disorder (anorexia) so I really didn't care what they thought and that he should think twice before using absolutes with me (i.e he said I never let them have junk food) because I will take the absolute and prove him wrong.

I took the gummies out of his lunch and told him to expect no soda (I let him have 1/2 can with dinner nightly) with dinner or a chocolate malt afer dinner like the one I made him yesterday. Oh and bye bye Bumpers!

I don't understand why people who care about what goes in their mouths and about taking care of their bodies are considered freaks, silly or obsessive. I believe in moderation. It would be so nice to have friends and family who support a healthy lifestyle instead of knocking it. Thanks for listening!!
 
mostly b/c others that would feed that into others mind are jealous b/c they cannot control eating and exercise the way some others do. my MIL does this constantly. this past mother's day i reminded her i am "skinny" b/c i take care of myself and allow myself treats every now and then. then she laughed b/c i pushed my plate away at dinner b/c i felt full enough. i am the same way. i allow some things in the house that may not be the best in the way of health food,but i watch what i bring in and how often.

hopefully your son can see that being aware of eating and exercises is not a disorder, and that other adults should stop feeding that crap into his head. and he should also be grateful that you allow him any of those treats b/c i know parents that are hard nosed about such things. my sister's friend never had a frozen pizza in her life until she was 19 and was over our place. ya gotta just be aware of what you put in your body and i don't think that is bad, its being in tuned with the one body you were given in this life.


kassia

http://www.picturetrail.com/ldy_solana

"And do what thee wilt as long as ye harm none"
 
RE: My son thinks eating nutritiously is an eating diso...

It sounds like your son is just hitting the adolescent times. Enjoy, you have many more ridiculous conversations like this one to look forward to. My own DD is a competitive gymnast. You'd think she'd care about nutrition since she pushes her body so very hard, but no. Her idea of a healthy snack is eating ice cream and potatoe chips - hey it's got dairy and vegetables, right?

Patience. A friend once told me that if I hadn't done such a good job raising my daughter, she wouldn't be giving me a hard time now that she's 14. If I had known that, I wouldn't have tried so hard to be a good mom!

PS - stick to your guns. Nutrition is far more important than these kids understand. They'll eventually figure it out - several, several years from now.
 
RE: My son thinks eating nutritiously is an eating diso...

I think Gym Mom hit the nail on the head. You already admitted to his intelligence, so now combine that with some psychological manipulation tactics and teenage "temper tantrums" and you've got a recipe for some pretty crazy comments...heehee!! I'd be willing to bet he knows the difference between eating healthy and an eating disorder and is just trying to push your buttons. I think you're idea to really prove to him how much you DO allow by removing all of it is a good one!! In a teenage brain actions speak much louder than words, especially when they come from a parent, so taking it all away will certainly make him change his tune I'm sure!!

I think teenagers are great, craziness and all, and I can't wait for these sorts of tests of wills when my sons get to be that age...I know crazy:7 :7 .
 
RE: My son thinks eating nutritiously is an eating diso...

I agree with Tillard and Gym Mom. Although I'm not a parent myself, I've read enough, both on forums like this and in popular media, to realize that teens will do but anything to get their parents' goat. If you tell him the sky is blue he'll roll his eyes at you and proceed to educate you on how it's really red.

I do wonder if "teenage brain" isn't an oxymoron, but that's another thread . . .

Stick to your guns, you little eating-disordered-Mom, you!

A-Jock
(A Former Perfect Child In Every Way)
 
RE: My son thinks eating nutritiously is an eating diso...

As the mother of a 13 yo DD who is intelligent and a bit of a rebel herself, I agree with the others. There are times when I'm so very proud of what she says and how insightful she can be. There are others when I think she seriously wants to see if she can make steam come out of my ears like it does on the cartoons (she's come close, too). You had your say and you told him what you thought. Now drop it, as he's going to find that it's something that gets under your skin - and that's fun for them to do at that age. Haven't heard that I have an eating disorder, but I have heard that I'm obsessed with exercise. Usually after I try to make her take the dogs for a walk...
 
RE: My son thinks eating nutritiously is an eating diso...

OMG, I agree with the above ladies. I've raised one DS to the age of 25 and just loved *rolls eyes* all the get under mom's skin conversations and behaviors and shenanigans. I have two 8 yo DS and one 11 yo DS now and get to do it all again x3.

You're going to have sooooo much fun. But do stick to your healthy habits, he'll appreciate you later - not now - but later. I can attest to the fact, although during my eldest's teen years you never could have convinced me of that.

BTW, I was a perfect child and teen, just like Aquajock.
 
RE: My son thinks eating nutritiously is an eating diso...

Thanks so much for the reassurance!

I have another one who is 15 and he is so different. He's the yes man. He gets that I am the one who does everything for them and that I give them more than they deserve most of the time. Not that he is well behaved all the time because he's not. I also have a 7 y.o. and a 19 mo. old-both boys.

I just looked at the calendar and realized it's that time of the month. That's never a good time to try to pick a fight with me!

It's so nice to be able to vent and know that I'm not alone. Thanks ladies!!
 
>I don't understand why people who care about what goes in
>their mouths and about taking care of their bodies are
>considered freaks, silly or obsessive. I believe in
>moderation. It would be so nice to have friends and family who
>support a healthy lifestyle instead of knocking it. Thanks for
>listening!!

I agree with you!

Why is eating healthy food considered 'obsessive" or a "disorder," whicle eating the SAD (standard American diet), which promotes diseases of affluence, considered alright?

It's like living in Bizarro land!
 
RE: My son thinks eating nutritiously is an eating diso...

Stick to your guns. It will pay off in the long run. My DD use to think the same way but as she has gotten older, she has started to exercise consistently and watch what she eats. She tells me every now and then she appreciates how I tried to serve them healthy foods. Of course, she's 30 years old now but it's never too late to start taking care of yourself.
 
RE: My son thinks eating nutritiously is an eating diso...

Well, now, give the kid a break...he is 13 ;) That is prime age for being attracted to such goodies, and, as A-jock stated, they will goad you any which way around.

I'm not so sure I would use a 13 y.o. as a ponderance for why healthy eaters are abhorred and crappy eaters are vindicated. I think he needs to continue developing (socially, emotionally, etc) to gain a better appreication of what you mean. This is not to say he isn't smart...it's just, well...he's a teenager.

I would just gradually sneak things in & out and not be too out in the open about what he is and isn't getting. Oh, and for the love of all things chocolate, what in world are cocoa bumpers??? is that a local thing or do I need to get out more?


Live with sincerity, love with passion, and dance like you mean it.

Debbie
 
Don't give up! I have been continuously undermined by my DH's family regarding nutrition until I moved a thousand miles away. :7

I have always tried to set a good example for my children to follow and have "forced" them to eat a healthy diet. I, too, allow sweet cerals for DESSERT! :) Anyway, through the years, my 13 year old son has griped many times about not being allowed soda or whatever, but he has begun to appreciate the food I provide for him. I decided to let him eat all the junk he wanted to for a day and then see how he felt the next, and it truly made him realize that food is fuel, and candy doesn't cut it! Last week, he told me that his friends didn't believe that the rice in his stir-fry leftovers was brown naturally. They believed the only way rice could be brown was from seasoning packets. :eek:

Sorry for the book, but I just want to reassure you that he is listening and your efforts will pay off in the long run with many thanks from him!
 
Debbie,

Cocoa Bumpers are made by an organic food company called Mother's which is a division of Quaker Foods. They have organic "wholesome" varities of the standard sugary cereals. They still have plenty of sugar, it's just molasses and honey instead of refined sugar or corn syrup.

I have kept to the same eating/exercising principles since he can remember and he has always complained. I wish he'd just eat what is out in front of him and go about his business but I suppose that's too much to ask for. Sigh.

I plan a junk food night on Friday nights. Tonight is nachos. I wonder how he will feel watching everyone eat those while he eats a turkey sandwich! (I'll probably break down and give him a side of nachos).

M
 
RE: My son thinks eating nutritiously is an eating diso...

I am a new mom w/a one year old boy. I hope to teach my son healthy eating habits. I too will not treat any unhealthy foods as "voodoo" but will also use moderation when giving it to him. I see nothing wrong with that.

I think the grandmother, etc. who bad-mouthed what you are doing is WRONG and they should know better! You don't bad-mouth a parent to thier child. It's just not right! ESPECIALLY when the parent is CLEARLY trying to do right by thier child! JEESH!

As for your son...he's a kid and he will learn...He may get ribbed by his friends for his lunches and that can be tough to take. It doesn't mean that you should give in by any means but I can understand why he'd get upset.

I think you are doing a fine job and you should keep it up despite the nay-sayers!:)
 
RE: My son thinks eating nutritiously is an eating diso...

I agree with Wendy -- the grandmother and stepmom need to shut their traps. Sounds like they're enjoying taking punches at you, which is totally irresponsible. (Give them the finger in private!)

And, sounds like you didn't shoot them back with ugliness -- that's good. When my parents divorced, my mom talked about my dad badly (as if we didn't know what he did...), but I wish she'd held her own more. I know now that they are BOTH human and are not perfect, and I accept and respect them more that way rather than trying to choose who's right/wrong/good/bad.

So obviously, what I'm talking about is another can of worms, but on the note about your son's comments -- he'll appreciate the foundation of "real food" and self-care that you provide. Just keep holding your head high!

;-)
 
Welcome to the world of a teenager. Some day he will thank you, just not now.

BTW, my 7th grade 13 year old DD is taking Health as one of the required courses. She is gifted LD, so requires quite a bit of help on Math and Science. When I asked if she needed help studying for an upcoming Health test, she rolled her eyes and said "No Mom, it is over everything you have been preaching to me for years!":7


I felt vindicated!(She also told the teacher I knew ALL this stuff)

I also have an 18 year old son. Once the kids hit Junior High to High School, it is very hard to keep the junk out of the trunk. Keep providing the healthy food at home, show him sweets in the form of fruits is best, and it will all work out. DS heads out to college in the fall and they say when they move out is when they learn to appreciate their parents!
 
I feel your pain. My kids know that Pop Tarts are a sweet and not a breakfast food. I eat quite differently from my family, keeping their diets as clean as I can but we make concessions. They don't have to eat whole wheat pasta or brown rice. I keep trans fats and high fructose corn syrup out of their diets. They will now use my organic ketchup but that was a struggle. They think I am nuts for eating as I do and I think they are nuts for not eating as I do. :) Time will tell what I have managed to instill in them. They revolt quite often now but someday, I hope, they will feed their families healthfully! :)
Bobbi "Chicks rule!"http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/tiere/animal-smiley-032.gif
Tell me what you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? -Mary Oliver
http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/linie/smiley-linie-008.gif
 
RE: My son thinks eating nutritiously is an eating diso...

I am 24 years old. When I was in grade school I remember feeling silly because while other kids lunches had snack items in them like cream filled cakes, fruit roll ups and chocolate pudding my Mom only allowed me to have snack items like yogrut and fruit. Soda was only a item for special occasions like birthday parties. I was hardly ever allowed to have many of the sugar filled cereal that are marketed towards children.

While I felt embarrased at the time and thought my Mom was a "health freak" I am happy that she taught me the foundations of healthy living. When I gained a lot of weight in college I just went back to many of the healthy habits that my Mom taught me and took most of the weight off (still working on that). One of the ways my Mom always stayed in shape is doing workout videos. So when I wanted to get in shape thats what I started doing. Once I discovered Cathe I convinced her that she had to try her videos. Now she is hooked too. Fitness is a topic that we can always bond over and discuss. It took me 20 some years to realize but my Mom was right all along:)
 
Um, maybe I'm missing something but the fact that he is 13 says it all to me. Maybe because I have two nephews and I've seen it first hand. One is now 20 and finally back to being cool to talk to. The other has been a crab since 12 (with many loveable moments of course but always fleeting.) He's 17 now and slowly starting come around (we've even gone to the movies recently and he was in a great mood the whole time!). Anyway, get yourself an Ipod and turn it up loud so you won't have to hear him and his thirteen year old "I know it All"ness. You may lose your hearing but you will be in fantastic health and still have your sanity! ;)
 
Hi,
It is interesting to read everyone's comments and I do agree that the age is probably a factor and the "everyone else gets to..." is another. Unfortunately our society is too caught up with the junk food and not the real good stuff.

At this point, I'd like to point out that there are kids and adults out there who cannot eat ANY food let alone junk food. My 4 year old son is one of them. He cannot even touch food without a reaction. He lives only on a formula that is made of amino acids in their simplest form. He has been on this for more than three years and has a disorder called Eosinophilic Esophagitis whereby his body thinks it is allergic to everything. My son deals with this pretty well and actually doesn't ask for food much, but every once in a while, he asks when he will be able to eat. We have reluctantly had 4 food trials this year and he has failed all of them. When he was a baby, he always vomited, had terrible eczema and never wanted to eat.

Perhaps you could let your son know about people with this disorder and give him a little "food for thought". Also, I wonder if he were an obese child how he would feel about himself?

Thanks for listening and good luck with the "terrible teens" years.

Keep up the healthy living.

Heather
 
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