My road trip from 2 years ago!! (Long)

[Vee]

Jerry,

I read this the day you posted but could not find the right words to respond.

A long time ago I was a person who needed so much to be nice, I had no instincts to fight even when people were unfair. I had no idea how to react when I was bullied. My nature made me a lot of great friends. It also led to me being bullied in outrageous ways. I have no idea when and how things changed. Perhaps wisdom comes naturally with age. I no longer let people get away with bullying me or anyone else. I wont stand by and watch as anyone else is picked on.

Part of what a bully preys upon is a decent person's conditioning not to be a quitter. What Billy Blanks did at that training is a very warped way of playing on people's psyche. The natural reaction of sane people to someone saying "I dont need you" is to say "Isnt it illogical to take my money for a test if you dont want any more people? Fine then. I thought we could have helped each other - there are plenty of other options for me too. See ya." By messing with the group's minds and taking undue advantage of his own image Billy got everyone to believe reacting in the way his behaviour deserved would be "quitting". He managed to get people to put up with his belittling.

The old me would have been easy prey. The new me, whether personally belittled or seeing someone being belittled would not have stood for it. In a polite yet firm voice I would have insisted on money back and on leaving immediately. I would have said "Had I known what this entailed, I would not have signed up. I am normal, not a person who pays money or takes pleasure in being humiliated or watching others being humiliated. If this is what you had in mind, you should have been more clear in your sales literature." I would have left without the money if they got aggressive - but I would have made my point before leaving. I would have stood firm whether other people in that group supported me or not.

That very easily could have been my story up until a few years ago. But I dont regret my softness. If it took a few humiliating experiences for me to learn how to balance niceness with firmness, I accept it as part of my learning. What I regret are instances when I have been unkind. Being the one wronged is easier to live with than being the wrong-doer.

You should be proud of yourself for being what you come through as - a decent person who treats others as he wishes to be treated. A person who fights to overcome setbacks - who is cheerful and positive and kind instead of allowing setbacks to defeat or embitter him.

I hope you wont let people make you a victim again, because you deserve better.

~* Vrinda *~

 

[kaylasmom321]

Vee,
What an awesome post! I had to print this one up! I'm sure I'll refer to it often. Very well put. Thanks, Nancy~~

 

[Irisg1]

Jerry,

I was around the club when you and Jill went to Certification camp. I myself contemplated going at one time, but it would have been a huge expense. Had I gone back then, the only thing I would have been prepared for, would have been to work Very hard. I would have gone expecting to be pushed harder than I possibly thought I could work. I would not have been prepared to be treated poorly by Billy or any of his helpers. First of all, it isn't even healthy to work out in such high temperatures. I don't understand how people would allow him not to turn on the A.C.? I take kick-boxing classes at a Tae Kwon Do studio. The classes are very similar to a live tae bo class, and the headmaster loves to see people sweat. He will try to keep the room as warm as he can get away with. Now luckily, he runs several locations, so I only run into him once every few months. We, the students, however, will complain that it is too hot, and he has no choice but to turn the fans or A.C. on. It is just not healthy to workout in a room where you can barely breath.

I don't understand how Billy has such a loyal following if this is the way he treats people. How is it that some people, if not most come away with a positive experience, after seeing people treated this way. I myself am a sensitive person, and if I ever went to camp and witnessed people being treated that way. Even if I myself was not the one being treated that way, I would have a hard time getting past that. It would hurt me to see someone belittled in that way, as much as it would hurt if it were happening to me. I just don't understand how there is this loyalty and approval of camps being run this way. I don't think the way to bring the best in someone is by breaking their spirit. I do believe in my heart that Billy is a good person. Maybe he has lost sight in a way of what fitness and changing people's lives is or should be all about. After all the people who are out there working their butts off to get certified are human. You can only push soo far.

Jerry, I do know that this RT is going to be all about fun for you and all those attending

 

[Vee]

Thank you Nancy. I am touched by your words.

~* Vrinda *~

 

[eaglobo]

Vee,

I cannot thank you enough for this post, I had to read and re-read it, you nailed me to a "T"...The reason I put up with what I did was I just didn't want to believe what was happening at that camp could have actually been happening.

I truly believe Billy and his team felt I was someone who would return, year after year until I got certified, I had no intentions of returning, no matter the outcome, this was my one shot, I would have done nothing differently.

That whole experience made me stronger, and for that, I thank myself for not walking out the door.

Thanks again for the great post!