My mom, 83, needs a hysterectomy...help!

[icumom]

Again, you asked people's opinion and input-I am totally for foregoing surgery at 83 and putting her to palliative care (I also to palliative and hospice car) - at that age and state of health...DNR is totally appropriate no matter what she chooses....but you asked for opinions and I'm just one,just what I've seen, I could totally support hospice in her case, but if the docs felt she'd do ok with a hysterectomy (which is often curative of uterine ca), wouldn't discourage you either...

Sorry to have gotten you riled up, you asked for input, I told you the truth about what I've seen but who cares, I'm just one person ...you can weigh it against all the great non medical results you have seen, be at ease on your decision...in our family we do not do extraordinary means of life support at all, and everyone lived to their 80s! So go with what she feels she can deal with and you can't go wrong!

 

[janiejoey]

If your mom is afraid of the ovarian cyst, then do something about that(it will ease her mind) and while she is at it, have them do what ever is necessary for the rest of her body in that area. she will be operated on anyway, might as well do it all. Right?

I feel for you. These are hard aweful decisions, and really need to think about what to do that is best all around.

(((((hugs and prayers)))))

Janie
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[hiitdogs]

Again, you asked people's opinion and input-I am totally for foregoing surgery at 83 and putting her to palliative care (I also to palliative and hospice car) - at that age and state of health...DNR is totally appropriate...but you asked for opinions and I told you the truth.

Sorry to have gotten you riled up, you asked for input, I told you the truth,there was no way to sugar coat what I've seen....you can weigh it against all the great non medical results you have seen, be at ease on your decision...

You may be so used to talking this way working in the field that you are but for someone who is waiting for the diagnosis for him/herself or a loved one I would say they need that picture of cancer overtaking their or their loved ones body as much as they need a hole in their head.

Neither you, I or anyone else know the "truth" at this point or how good or bad the diagnosis will be for the OP's Mom but there really is no reason to scare people with what could be and worst case szenarios at this point.

You work in a critical care unit and I am sure you deal with a lot of difficult cases but not every patient is a critical care patient and not every diagnosis turns out to be a worst case.

I am not asking anyone to "sugarcoat" anything but maybe a little more sensitivity when dealing with people who are waiting for a diagnosis like these would be nice.

 

[morningstar]

DNR I believe is reasonable for anyone really over 70

70??????????? You have got to be kidding! My grandma recently had a stroke and died at the age of 100 - but she lived for a week after the stroke, and we had a DNR order, but even at 100, it wasn't an easy decision. We made the decision not based on her age, or likelihood of survival, but on her quality of life and the fact that she no longer had any enjoyment of life whatsoever. I am shocked that you would suggest that people over the age of 70 should have a DNR order just on basis of their age.

 

[icumom]

Sorry if I seemed insensitive, things sound different in writing than they do face to face....

DNR over 70 - worded that if in an irreversable condition, that life has become or is likely to become an unacceptable quality...yeah, good thing to have...any age actually....doesn't mean you won't be put on a vent or have massive medical intervention,feeding tubes, blood, etc in catastrophic illness - just means that if the end is near and imminent, you're saying you want it to stop- many docs still are hesitant to ever stop pushing and families have fought for this right for decades, so its important to know that people have the right to demand cessation of treatment if its futile and prolongs suffering.......if you have loving family around who know your wishes, they can speak for you if you can't but it gives them peace of mind sometimes to know your wishes....that's what I meant, DNR doesn't mean do not treat!!!!

Like I said, my mil did her papers at 65 - and had breast CA with mastectomy at 80 or so, a bout of flu here and there, and just died last month - a couple months short of 99!

 

[Reese777]

Okay - whatever - but for the record, PROSTATE cancer is one of the SLOWEST "traveling" cancers there are, and my father's took LESS THAN A YEAR to move to his lymph nodes in his stomach. And I personally did not mention this individual scenario to make the person that posted this thread more frightened or confused than they already are.

It is fear mongering! And it is not the first time. Cancer in most cases is a slow growing disease. Those of us who have been diagnosed with it may have had it for years already, if not decades.

Cancer that is left untreated will not "definitely travel". People have had cancers contained for years without spreading to lymphnodes or any other parts of the body. It depends on the type, grade/aggressiveness of the cancer and other factors.

Other than earlier detection our conventional cancer treatment in the past 50+ years has not shown to be effective or increase cure rate. In fact if you look at cancer statistics it is pitiful! And by that I mean the absolute numbers and not the relative numbers that we are usually deceptively presented with. The way it is currently measured is 5-year survival statisics. If you are still breathing after 5 years you are considered cured, even if you die a month after that from cancer. They certainly are not measuring quality of life. Cancer treatment is the biggest hogwash I have seen in a long time. There are studies out there that show that it in fact makes things worse in most cases. But you won't hear that from the doctor unless you ask very specific questions and have done your homework.

We are talking about a 83 year old woman with many health issues. Surgery and anesthesia are never routine and always a risk. Anyone who goes through surgery has to sign that right before they wheel you in the OP. I'd say I believe what I signed on that paper. In some cases the risks of surgery may actually outweigh the benefits. That is an entirely personal decision after getting ALL the information and possibly a second or third opinion.

Someone who was just faced with a cancer diagnosis does not need anyone scaring them any more with those kinds of mental pictures without even knowing or having personally assessed the case. They are already overwhelmed by waiting for the diagnosis.

 

[hiitdogs]

Okay - whatever - but for the record, PROSTATE cancer is one of the SLOWEST "traveling" cancers there are, and my father's took LESS THAN A YEAR to move to his lymph nodes in his stomach. And I personally did not mention this individual scenario to make the person that posted this thread more frightened or confused than they already are.

If you look at my post, I already stated that every cancer is different and that it depends on the aggressiveness, grade and a lot of other factors how fast and if it spreads.

I am very sorry you and your Dad are going through this!!! I hope everything turns out well for your Dad. You and your family will be in my thoughts. Take care!