I don't get this much anymore but I used to - I also am a 'recovered' anorexic (though I don't think the thought pattern ever really recovers). As an anorexic, I can promise you that people telling me I was too skinny DEFINITLY DID NOT help. Even after my weight stabilized (I'm a healthy 125# 5'5"), my parents continued to harp on me about what I was eating, whether it was enough and I'd get nutrition articles out the wazoo (which is kind of silly because with all the stuff I've read on nutrition, it should be me sending them stuff!)
I can't say that their comments were without basis, because there have been times when I was too skinny, but you're absolutely right, no one who is overweight would want people coming up to them and telling them they are too fat. For some reason, in our society, it has been accepted to be obese (and thus not seen as a major problem) while on the other hand, being too skinny is a MAJOR issue. This is not ALWAYS the case but often seems like it is. My mother being overweight was never the problem in my family growing up as my being underweight.
This is not to say that they both aren't serious problems and that people that are overweight have it made in society. That's not the case at all. And, I'm definitely not saying anyone here has an under/overweight issue.
Just that I agree - it really hurts when people say things like that. I guess you just have to keep in mind that people (for the most part) don't mean to be cruel intentionally - probably quite the opposite. They care about you and think that they are helping by speaking their mind.
And here's something else to chew on...slender women are at a higher risk for osteoporisis. (one of my soapboxes, bear with me here). so, there is something to be said for having a couple extra pounds here and there. Make sure you are getting enough calcium and other vitamins/minerals so you don't have worry about this!
just my humble opinion and thoughts.