Jessica Simpson Moment! UGH!!

endorphin_junkie

endorphin_junkie

Cathlete
Okay, I'm doing the on-line dating thing and had the absolute pleasure of meeting an attractive, fit, interesting, successful, gentleman on Saturday evening. I was, admittedly nervous and self conscious throughout which is my only excuse for such an idiotic question. As we were talking with our server he asked if she would recommend anything and we were told that the menu was new this week and that everything was highly recommended. We quietly looked at the menu for a moment and I was absorbing none of it, I don't know where my brain went but as I scanned down the menu I noticed dashes and a number with each selection, I was thinking maybe that indicates spiciness or ???.....So I look up and say 'what are these numbers?', he answers 'that's the prices, don't worry, it's on me'. OMG!!!! Laurie, you silly woman!!! I shook my head, blushed and said 'I am so embarrassed that I asked that!' I can't believe that I could be that vacant and am still laughing and cringing at the very thought of it. I crack myself up.......I'm pretty sure that's the dumbest thing I've ever said as an adult....:+

Any Jessica Simpson moments you'd care to share?:)

Take Care
Laurie:)
 
I can't remember what it was I was doing, but there were friends at my house and I figured something out that we'd all been working on. I stood up and said "I'm SO good"... then I turned around and walked into a wall. It wasn't one of my finer moments.:p
 
Laurie,

I've had several but can't think of a particular one under pressure right now although I did walk into the men's room at SAM's a few weeks ago because I refuse to wear glasses :+

How was the date? Details please :)
 
Nice one Shelley, keeps ya humble eh?;-) :D

Candi, too funny! As for the date, we were together for 6 hours and, for me, it was comfortable and easy. I definitely find him attractive and would like to see him again but don't know if the vibe was going both ways, we'll see. Either way it was a very nice evening. He's lived in and travelled to most of the world, we don't have that in common but it was pretty cool hearing him tell me of pony rides on Mount Everest when he was a child:)

C'mon I need to feel better about my brain fart and would love to hear yours:)

Take Care
Laurie:)
 
Laurie - this site doesn't have enough bandwidth for me to describe all the Jessica moments I've had:p

I'm glad your date went well.:)
 
My first date with my now ex husband was at a restaurant when I came back to our table from the ladies room everyone was staring at me and He was kind of smiling I was thinking I must be hot but I had tiolet paper stuck to my shoe and was dragging it acrosss the floor.
I know I have had many others but this one sticks in my mind or should I say shoe.

Susan:)
 
Laurie, there's no doubt about it, you are simply adorable!!

Okay, I have a toilet paper story. I took my brother out to lunch one day. Let me start with a disclaimer; my brother is mentally ill and not well schooled in the social graces;) :eek: .

...So after lunch I went to the restroom. When I came out I stopped at our booth and asked my brother if he was ready to leave. He slid out of the booth and followed as I made my way to the door when suddenly I heard, in a LOUD voice, "Oh God! You have toilet paper hanging over the top of your jeans! Oh God!".

The good news is, my brother lives out of town and I didn't know a soul in that restaurant:7

Edited to correct typos.
 
The other day my husband mentioned the name of a congressman who is entering the race for president, I don't remember his name or the party (typical), but when my husband said the name I blurted out, "Is that the famous racehorse they just put down?". LOL! The look on his face was priceless. I felt like a total idiot. WELL THEY BOTH STARTED WITH A B!!!!

:)

FWIW I hate that in some resteraunts they don't put a $ sign next to the price, it sort of throws you off. It is just a number. Does that help? ;-)

Jen
 
Okay I thought of one

My DH and I were in Kmart one day. This was when they used chains to block off aisles. Well, I insisted that I wanted an item beyond the chain. DH warned me to be careful. So I jumped over the chain beautifully and full of grace the first time. On the way back however, I was not so lucky. The chain wrapped around my front leg, got caught on my back leg and I ended up looking like a complete moron. If it wasn't bad enough, I blurted out to my husband "I got it honey...I got it!", as I layed on the floor in agony. To this day we get a good laugh when I bring up "the chain". :)
 
When I was visiting one of my ladies (senior), she had her caregiver with her and introduced me. We hit it off right away, and decided to share gas expense and go snowshoeing that weekend. Later, on the way home, she asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her to meet "The Red Hats" later in the week. (These are 50 + year old ladies) I told her I would.

I met the Queen of "The Red Hats" and we also hit it off right away. When it was time for me to leave. The Queen got up and wanted to say good bye to me by giving me a hug. So I did, and I thought she wanted another, instead she put her hands out to mine, and we talked for just a moment, and after words I noticed my large purse was on her arm. At the very same moment, she wondered and was surprised how it got there, and I wondered and was surprised how she got my purse? It just slid so sleekly right over her very slim hands and onto her arm, just like a magnet to the frige. We both couldn't stop laughing. Everyone around the table noticed it as well, and everyone seemed to be laughing.

It was so funny.:7

Janie

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

http://www.picturetrail.com/janiejoey
 
"I've had several but can't think of a particular one under pressure right now although I did walk into the men's room at SAM's a few weeks ago because I refuse to wear glasses."

So, you could be in the Southwest "Need to Get Away" commercial where the lady is having problems with her contacts and runs to the bathroom. When she can finally see what she's doing, she realizes she's in the men's bathroom. Thought that one was hilarious! :7
 
These are too funny.

Remember when Cathe was on Good Morning America? Well, I turned to my fiance and said, "I can't wait to hear what she sounds like!" What?!!??! I hear her every day. Course I really meant, hear what she has to say... but...

Another one was I had just picked up oranges at the grocery store - they were buy one get one free. I saw the news report that oranges may go up in price because they were being frozen in CA --- I immediately thought, "Oh, I should get some more and freeze them..." Yep!!!! WHOA - that's why they were going up in price because you can't freeze them. I knew as soon as I said it, I'm just one of those people that buys meat, etc. (things you can freeze) on sale and freezes it... A fine moment :)
 
I kept telling my Dh that I really needed to get a new phone...one that really does absolutely everything...you know, a "blueberry." :*
 
I've got a good one.

I was on a date with an exboyfriend in Baltimore and he said we would go to "Little Italy" for dinner. As we were walking through town I thought I was being very perceptive when I said "Wow....there are really a lot of Italian restaurants around here!"

He said "Hence the name...little italy" I felt like an idiot and it was the joke the rest of the night.
 
PS. Laurie, I once thought those very same numbers on the menu were how you ordered your meal. I still remember saying, "Hmmm,....... I will have a number 25-50." I thought my Dh was split a rib from laughing so hard (that is after he whispered to me that we weren't eating at McDonalds).
 
OMG, Laurie!!! LMAO! You're too funny! But I'm glad the online thing is working out for you. :)

ETA - Candi, I also did the men's room thing. Only this was at one of our satellite offices, and I was in a hurry to get to a meeting. So I go into the restroom, think, "hmmm, those are interesting looking sinks over there," and proceed into a stall, sit down and realize WITH DAWNING HORROR what those "sinks" actually are, and try to go really, really fast so that I could get out of there before anyone walked in! What's worse is, it's one of those combo restroom/shower setups, so conceivably I could have run into a nekkid co-worker! LMAO! No one could understand my near-hysteria in the meeting afterwards, hehehe.

Marie
 
I just read everybodies responses,Ya'll are too funny!

I have "jessica simpson" moments about every day!I'am always saying things backwards,like yesturdays little "funny moment"that my DH can't seem to "get over"!

I was crazy busy cleaning and my husband was washing his truck,I usually ask him for help with house chores on the weekends so I asked if he could take the clothes out and wash a load of garbage!
I't even took me a moment to get why my DH was laughing so hard:eek:!

Im sure my husband as told all his buddies at work about it!

Amy:)
 
Oh, I have so many of these. The two that immediately come to mind are the time when I started the gas pump to fill up my car, walked into the convenience store to get a paper, walked back out to my car, got in and drove away without removing the gas pumping device from my car. Completely forgot I was pumping gas. Thank God, I was about 100 miles from home so no one knew me.

I also got all the way to work one day before I realized I had two different shoes on. One brown and one black. And I was not pregnant at the time so I could see my feet clearly.

I've got a lot more. How much time have we got? :D

Tracey
"Do or do not. There is no try." -Yoda
"Where there's a will, there's a way."
 
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