Is fake better than real?

[morningstar]

Evangeline Lilly said in Women's Health magazine recently: "It's better to be fake and happy than real and miserable". I think probably most psychotherapists would disagree to some extent, while maybe some psychiatrists would agree (given the number of drugs that are prescribed for treating depression nowadays). I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm intrested in others' opinions.

 

[sparrow13]

I find this hard to answer simply because I don't get how one could be fake and still be happy? What context was this in? Was she talking psychologically or in terms of plastic surgery?

Interesting question!

 

[Fit_mommy]

LOL about the plastic surgery, Sparrow! In that case, I say fake and happy is the way to go!

As for psychologically? I'm not really sure I understand what Evangeline meant either.

 

[buffettgirl]

Maybe she meant you should "fake it till you make it." Sometimes when I'm blue, just pretending everything is fine and plastering a smile on my face helps me forget my woes and feel better. I hope she wasn't talking about clinical depression though. No amount of phoney smiling will help you get through that alone.

 

[MAYNARDSMOM]

My first thought was she was refferring to plastic surgery also.

Yrs ago they had a new show on FitTV, can't remember the name but one thing the host said regarding having more energy was just that - Fake it till you get there. Sometimes when I'm in a frump I too wil "Fake it". Stick a smile on & eventually it will become real. Worth a try anyway

 

[sparrow13]

Robin I couldn't agree more! I do the same thing when I'm going out and feel shy or self-conscious. I just put a smile on my face and pretend that I'm vivacious...behave my way to success as Dr Phil puts it...and often I find that after a bit of faking it it becomes real and my shyness fades away.

I certainly hope she wasn't talking about being fake in order to fit in or anything though.

 

[fit44]

I think she meant "act as if"

Here is a quote from the article:
"Even if you're unhappy, just pretend that you're happy," she says, offering one final contradiction. "Eventually, your smile will be contagious to yourself. I had to learn that. I used to think, 'I'm being fake.' But you know what? Better to be fake and happy than real and miserable."

 

[Jazcam]

I think that it depends on what you are faking . If you are faking being happy in a bad marriage then it won't work. On the other hand if you are faking being happy or content with a job that you need, then it may work until something else comes along.


"It's better to be fake and happy" may just mean that is it better to be optimistic and hopeful for a change.

To be "real and miserable" doesn't really have to go hand in hand. Sometime in order to be happy you have to "real" or honest about how you are feeling. Working with difficult people is just one example.

 

[Jazcam]

Maybe she meant you should "fake it till you make it." Sometimes when I'm blue, just pretending everything is fine and plastering a smile on my face helps me forget my woes and feel better. I hope she wasn't talking about clinical depression though. No amount of phoney smiling will help you get through that alone.

I agree.

 

[lioness]

Yrs ago they had a new show on FitTV, can't remember the name but one thing the host said regarding having more energy was just that - Fake it till you get there. Sometimes when I'm in a frump I too wil "Fake it". Stick a smile on & eventually it will become real. Worth a try anyway

I remember seeing it on FitTV too and I thought it was a little silly. I prefer to write down a list of things that I'm grateful for. It's pulls me out of my funk all the time.

I've used the "fake it" thing when I have to go somewhere where I don't want to be but when I'm unhappy I usually try to find the source and change it or work on my grateful list.

 

[cataddict]

I read that article last night and those words struck me as a bit odd. I do think that the interviewer inserted them out of context since the statement on its own is an oxymoron--if you're faking being happy, then you really ARE miserable by definition. Anyway I think her point may have been to put a smile on your face rather than to sulk around and feel sorry for yourself. Of course that's easier said than done, and probably easier still for a beautiful, wealthy, young actress to say that when she may not be dealing with a lot of adversity at this point in her life. I'm not slamming her---she seems to have her head on reasonably straight and has some done some admirable charitable/humanitarian work so she's not just an empty headed selfish rich girl with no redeeming qualities a la Paris Hilton. But I digress.