Inspired by Liann...Post Your Favorite Joke

carres1973

carres1973

Cathlete
the cornier the better!

Here is one from me...

Q: What does the chef require the cowboys to wear to dinner?


A: Ranch Dressing:D

Carrie
 
Two cannibals go to the circus. They eat the clown. One cannibal turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?" :D
 
Oh Sparrow! That was a good one!

Here is one my son told. I didn't realize at the time he had heard it on SpongeBob.

Q: What do you call a vampire whose car breaks down 5 miles from the blood bank?

A: A cab!

Carrie
 
A man goes out to get the morning paper from his doorstep. He lifts the paper and sees a wee snail under it. So he picks up the snail and gently carries it across the road to the small pond, and softly places it on the grass. Then he goes home. A year later he lifts his paper from the front steps and sees the snail again. The snail puts its hand on its hips and says "so buddy, what the hell was THAT all about?" :D
 
one day a pirate walked into a bar. he had a paper towel on his head.

the bartender asked him why he had a paper towel on his head.

the pirate replied "argh! there's a bounty on me head!"

-
my dds tell this one EVERY NIGHT at dinner! :rolleyes::rolleyes::p:p
 
Kate - at least it is better than my DSs first joke:

Q: Why did the monkey go to the movies?

A: Because he was on vacation!

Carrie
 
chefkate said:
one day a pirate walked into a bar. he had a paper towel on his head.

the bartender asked him why he had a paper towel on his head.

the pirate replied "argh! there's a bounty on me head!"

-
my dds tell this one EVERY NIGHT at dinner! :rolleyes::rolleyes::p:p
Click to expand...

Hilarious!
 
Bwahahaha! These are great! I'll have to think of one. ;) I can come up with corny jokes anytime, except when I'm "trying" to come up with one!
 
One day a man named Max walks into a sporting goods store and orders all sorts of protective equipment. The clerk asks him why he's ordering so much protective gear. His reply..

I overheard my wife telling her friend that tonight she was going to Drill Max, then tomorrow night she's going to Kick Max!!!! And, sadly for me.......IMAX!!!
 
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This was in my local newspaper on Saturday:

Q: What was the lazy worker fired for doing in the vegetarian diner?

A: Killing Thyme!

Carrie
 
This is a cute thread... I'm getting memories of those dixie cups back in the 70's with the jokes on them...! :)

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight (ate) nine.

Lynn M.
 
Here is one from a cup (thanks for the reminder Lynn):

Q: What do you call a happy cowboy?

A: A jolly rancher!

Carrie
 
Ok, here are a few lame ones! :)

Q: Where does the one legged waitress work?

A: The Ihop


Q: Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?

A: He was charged with battery.
 
Here's one I heard from a 5 year old...

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
A: Because it was feeling crummy!

I just love this one!! :D

Lisa
 
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