Infidelity

Infidelity

  • Total voters
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Y

Yummy Mummy

Cathlete
If you cheated on your SO, and he/she forgave you

THEN

he/she cheated on YOU further down the track

would you inturn............ FORGIVE him/her?

Marion
 
That's a tough one. You couldn't really say that you don't understand the other person's position and at the same time you get to know what you put the other person through when you did it.

I suppose it would depend on a lot of factors: did they do it for love or sex? If it's for love, then there's no taking them back (IMHO) and if they did it for sex, then they've put your relationship on the line for just sex. But it comes back to the whole 'you did it first' issue.

I just don't know. Curious what other people think of this one!
 
Wow, this is a tough one, just b/c the situation can vary so much. I think that you almost owe it to that person to forgive (the second person) in one sense, but in another, if both spouses/persons have cheated at some point, what is left and why do they want to be together? They were both missing something that they went out to find outside of the relationship.

I think that it is hard enough to mend one incident of extramarital/relationship relationship, let alone two. But then again, you never know what you would do until you are forced to make that decision.
 
Ummmm I could never cheat . It hurts tons . My x cheated 50 plus times on me . Broke my heart ... But now 12 years later .I'm with a good man . And I know it wasnt me It was My X's issues . And well Hes living his own Hell on earth . Very sick guy . Very very sad for my children and any other woman he gets invovled with . I could go on and on and on on this topic !!!x( x( x(
 
Wow...very tough one. First I would say that both partners need to look at their relationship and do some serious soul searching ...if they love each other - why are they screwing around? But I would say that yes, you would almost have to forgive them if they had given you the benefit of the doubt and forgiven your infidelity.
 
>Wow...very tough one. First I would say that both partners
>need to look at their relationship and do some serious soul
>searching ...if they love each other - why are they screwing
>around? But I would say that yes, you would almost have to
>forgive them if they had given you the benefit of the doubt
>and forgiven your infidelity.

Ok, probably revealing way too much but you asked why so I'm going to give you one perspective....You are right, both partners need to look at the relationship but having sex with someone else doesn't mean that I don't love my husband. I love my husband very much. He's a good man, not abusive in any way, kind & caring. He's a great dad. But there was something missing in our relationship. He has forgiven me for my infidelity. I would forgive him if he did it.

For what it's worth, we're in counseling. Have been for more than 5 months now. It's helping both of us.
 
According to statistics, MEN handle infidelity very badly (something to do with their "man hood and pride" I think

So to answer my own question, I would forgive DH if he did the dirty first, but Im very sure DH would have a very hard time forgiving me.

Marion







You have to stay in shape. My Grandmother started walking when she was 60. Today she is 97 and we don't know where the hell she is! - Ellen DeGeneres
 
Actually, if I ever cheated on my husband, I would never forgive MYSELF! I've had nightmares about this. I couldn't do that to him or my daughter. If he wasn't the man he is, it might be a different story - but he would never deserve that kind of betrayel.

If he ever cheated on me...I'd leave him in a heartbeat. There would be forgiveness to a point. I would be friendly with him after the divorce and make sure he was a big part of my daughter's life. But he wouldn't be a big part of mine anymore. I'd also probably not ever get remarried.
 
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