My father-in-law died suddenly in his sleep last Wednesday. It's been a very stressful time! I just can't seem to get back into the swing of things. I know I just need to keep busy, but I find myself missing workouts and just eating and feeling sorry for myself and family. The economy and finances have me down as well. I need a pick me up!
In A Slump
- Thread starter Snitker
- Start date
Melclear
Cathlete
I'm so sorry for your loss. Maybe you just need to let yourself off the hook, and take some time to just grieve. Your lack of energy may be some mild depression, which is totally normal while grieving. If you don't feel like working out, consider maybe taking a walk outside if the weather is nice. Otherwise, just take some time for yourself, do whatever feels right -- your body will let you know when you are ready to get back into it.
aveggiegirl
Cathlete
I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family. You will be in my prayers.
coloradomama
Cathlete
I'm so sorry for your loss. I really agree with what Melclear said and I second the thought of going for walks right now. It will help keep you active but will help mentally as well. Walks are a good way to help clear your mind or work things out, and I always feel better after taking them.
morningstar
Cathlete
The journey to fitness is a marathon, not a sprint. There will be ups and downs. If you make it part of your life for your whole life, that is just part of the ebb and flow. Make the commitment to yourself to have fitness as an important part of your life forever, and the rest will fall into place.
LaughingWater
Cathlete
I'm so sorry ~ safe journey to your father-in-law. <3
Posting here might help. You can discuss your feelings of frustration, sadness, grief, etc. Over time, you may feel inspired to get back to your regular schedule. Until then though, be kind to yourself.
It's normal to feel depressed when a loved one dies. I don't know too many people who can just hop back into daily life one week after such a sad event.
Posting here might help. You can discuss your feelings of frustration, sadness, grief, etc. Over time, you may feel inspired to get back to your regular schedule. Until then though, be kind to yourself.
It's normal to feel depressed when a loved one dies. I don't know too many people who can just hop back into daily life one week after such a sad event.So sorry for your families' loss. I think you're handling it better than you're giving yourself credit for. This time will pass, and you'll look back and wonder how you got through it so well. You'll get back to your old self and good habits. Just give it time, and don't skip this grieving process. Especially since it was your husband's father, you probably feel like you have to be the strong one for him. But it's okay to just let go and feel everything you're feeling so that you can get through it too. Also, you're probably still in a state of shock since the death was so sudden. Just allow yourself this break in your routine - at a time like this, you deserve it.
Dani
Dani
marnold
Cathlete
The very same thing happened to our family last August and I have to say the both DH and I felt the same. It IS overwhelming and it IS difficult to deal with. I am not really into shrink talk, but I have to say that grieving is a process and I would say you need to find an outlet for the stress. I found that embroidery helped me immensely. I also worked out more regularly which was also helpful. These two things helped keep my mind occupied and I had less time to dwell on the what-ifs.
Hugs to you!
Hugs to you!
RapidBreath
Cathlete
that makes sense
In many ways its quite normal. I felt awful after we lost a friend to bone cancer in 2001 and we knew he was sick for two years, losing someone in their sleep is so sudden there was no way you could know in advance. You might benefit from seeking the help of a grief counselor or a group. I understand that the group can really help. As for your workouts and eating, if you can just walk, not necessarily intense either. Moving will help your brain and its completely ok to snack out on sugar snap peas, carrots, and even oranges. I highly recommend taking your vitamins and getting plenty of olive oil, fish oil (if you can tolerate it-not too much, it can lower blood pressure) not because it will help with the grief, but because its no fun to be grieving and have the body fall apart too. I am so sorry for your loss.
In many ways its quite normal. I felt awful after we lost a friend to bone cancer in 2001 and we knew he was sick for two years, losing someone in their sleep is so sudden there was no way you could know in advance. You might benefit from seeking the help of a grief counselor or a group. I understand that the group can really help. As for your workouts and eating, if you can just walk, not necessarily intense either. Moving will help your brain and its completely ok to snack out on sugar snap peas, carrots, and even oranges. I highly recommend taking your vitamins and getting plenty of olive oil, fish oil (if you can tolerate it-not too much, it can lower blood pressure) not because it will help with the grief, but because its no fun to be grieving and have the body fall apart too. I am so sorry for your loss.
PinkMom
Cathlete
I am very sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing after my father-in-law died in 2006. In retrospect, I believe it was a mild depression. It helped to discuss what I was feeling honestly with my mother. I also continued running regularly b/c I knew that time would help me process my feelings and help me feel "normal." I also decided to just focus on any little thing I could get done each day. I remember feeling really productive one day after just cleaning out the silverware drawer. I also remember feeling like I should have been able to snap out of it, but I couldn't. After a time, I felt "back to normal."
Above all, cut yourself some slack, and try to take care of yourself -- physically, emotionally, spiritually, whatever.
Above all, cut yourself some slack, and try to take care of yourself -- physically, emotionally, spiritually, whatever.
measuredoak
Cathlete
I'm sorry for your loss. What your feeling is part of the grief process. Take time for yourself & time to go through the process. Each day do what you can & in time you will back to your old routine.
{{{{{Snitker}}}}} I'm really sorry for your loss.
We lost two family members last year, and I went through a very similar time for several weeks each time. I agree with Melclear that it was like a period of depression related to the grieving process, which is important (the grieving process).
I had a difficult time doing anything that required any mental focus. Walks or hiking are a great idea, even better if you can do them with a friend. Definitely don't beat yourself up, and take care of yourself.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
We lost two family members last year, and I went through a very similar time for several weeks each time. I agree with Melclear that it was like a period of depression related to the grieving process, which is important (the grieving process).
I had a difficult time doing anything that required any mental focus. Walks or hiking are a great idea, even better if you can do them with a friend. Definitely don't beat yourself up, and take care of yourself.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
Thanks!
I do appreciate all your great replies. FIL was 68. He had a heart attack in 1990 (before I met my husband). We think he must have had a heart attack in his sleep. He was under serious stress with his daughter. At any rate, I did get on the elliptical for 30 minutes today and I think it did help. Perhaps I'll take the dog for a walk later. Sometimes it's good to get out of the house, but I just don't feel like going out. Exercise is a great stress relief though so even if I can't fit in a whole hour long workout shorter workouts will suffiece for now. This too, shall pass.
I do appreciate all your great replies. FIL was 68. He had a heart attack in 1990 (before I met my husband). We think he must have had a heart attack in his sleep. He was under serious stress with his daughter. At any rate, I did get on the elliptical for 30 minutes today and I think it did help. Perhaps I'll take the dog for a walk later. Sometimes it's good to get out of the house, but I just don't feel like going out. Exercise is a great stress relief though so even if I can't fit in a whole hour long workout shorter workouts will suffiece for now. This too, shall pass.
elliemom
Cathlete
This is a huge stress for you!!! I am so sorry for your loss. ((((((snitker))))
I would think it was strange if you just bounced back the next day. You need some time to grieve. You need some rest as well as light exercise. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Your own body is telling you to slow down. Walks and light exercise are a great way to feel like you are moving along.
Try to eat healthy and get some rest. If it doesn't ease up in a few weeks, please get some help. I am sure you will be fine and you have TONS of support here from many wonderful people.
ellie
I would think it was strange if you just bounced back the next day. You need some time to grieve. You need some rest as well as light exercise. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Your own body is telling you to slow down. Walks and light exercise are a great way to feel like you are moving along.
Try to eat healthy and get some rest. If it doesn't ease up in a few weeks, please get some help. I am sure you will be fine and you have TONS of support here from many wonderful people.
ellie