I'm not sure if this was appropiate.

E

exercise forever

Cathlete
Ladies I want your opinion on my experience at the dr.'s today. I didn't really realize how weird it was!

I had my hip checked out today and I figured the nurse would tell me to remove my shorts and put on a gown. She just told me the dr. would be there shortly. He came in a I stood up as he wanted me to show him where the pain was and he proceeded to put his hands up my shorts feeling my hips and ass cheek! That felt more uncomfortable than if I had on a robe! And the one thing I didn't realize then was a nurse was not present in the room! Hum!! Am I stupid?

This same dr. has gave me a breast exam without a nurse present also. I don't like this dr. but the others were booked up!

Am I overreacting girls or do I have a disgusting dr.?

I almost didn't post this because I am a little embarrassed!

Thanks for any of your inputs!

kim
 
Don't be embarrased. That's a tough call. I think it depends on how he was acting when he did it. I have a good relationship with my doctor and if he did something like that without someone else present it wouldn't bother me. But if you were already uncomfortable (don't care for him) and he did that I could see where you may feel a little more uncomfortable. Was he professional about it or did you just feel like you had been groped?


Catherine

http://bestsmileys.com/exercising/1.gif
 
Hey Catherine,

I just felt very uncomfortable with the way it was done. And no! I do not like him. I thought it was made to wear a nurse had to be present in certain situations with women.


I will never go to this one again! I guess I will have to go dr. hunting now!

kim
 
Kim, no you are most definitely NOT over-reacting!

As a nurse who used to work in a clinic, I am actually very shocked that he didn't have a nurse in the room with you. In fact, it's a HUGE legal issue and he sounds like he's cruising for a sexual harrassment lawsuit!!! If I remember correctly, for anything "personal" like this or the breast exam, he is legally required to have a "stand-by" in the room not only for his protection, but for yours as well. Next time you need to see him, be sure that you stand your ground and insist upon a stand-by. Oh, pay attention to how he acts, too, if it's different with the stand by vs. without! Just out of curiousity. You may actually save someone else from enduring this mis-treatment (and that's what it is) and indignity!

Also, another advantage of having the nurse in the room (I try to do this now at work) is if you have any questions about what the doctor told you, you can ask the nurse to clarify for you. If she isn't in the room and you have questions, you really don't have anywhere to turn because the doc is already in the next patient's room!

You have nothing to be embarassed about, especially if you don't know what your rights are in the medical arena. Just remember that you are in charge of your health and well-being, NOT your doctor. If you have ANY concerns at all, be sure to ask, even if it's making them
repeat themselves, that's what they are there for!!!

I would strongly encourage you to call and speak with the office manager at your dr's office. Please insist on the office manager and not some lackey! They are there to solve problems like this and who knows, maybe that dr is already on probation for this same behavior and he may get invited to seek employment elsewhere, who knows?

HUGS!
 
Kim,

You shouldn't have to be embarrassed in that way. I don't know exactly what to tell you to do in this particular experience. If you feel it was a harrassment, then do the right thing, complain about it. Sounds like Amy has some good advice there. But, the next time you should get him, you have the right to refuse. Ask for the doctor you have an appointment with, or reschedule.

I have a woman doctor, and feel like she understands women more than men do. Now, I feel more comfortable about these matters.

Hope this helps,

Janie

"If you can't say anything nice about someone, then don't say anything at all."
-My mother, Mary Cooper-
 
Seems to me that if you feel uncomfortable that says it all--trust your instincts. Were I in your shoes I would find myself a new practice and if I were stuck going to this practice again I would make it absolutely clear that you do not wish to see this doctor...ever. Anytime a male doctor needs to touch you in "personal" places a female nurse should be present.
 
Yes, please trust your gut here. Don't see him again, and you might want to send a reminder to him or the office staff that any patient (male or female) would feel more comfortable with a proper cover and nurse in the room. Granted, it's healthcare, but it's also business. Might scare the pants off him to know there's a patient with a voice who speaks up!

I think it was extremely unprofessional (and scary) for him to go up under your shorts. Doctors should be safe than sorry when it comes to protecting themselves and their patients.
 
Hey ladies,

Thank you for all your advice and comments! I was wondering what is the difference between a Practitioner and a MD? He is not a MD. I wanted to get a appt. with a MD but it was not possible.


kim
 
>
>
> Hey ladies,
>
> Thank you for all your advice and comments! I was wondering
>what is the difference between a Practitioner and a MD? He is
>not a MD. I wanted to get a appt. with a MD but it was not
>possible.
>
>
> kim

Maybe he was a nurse practioner. Nurse practioners often see patients for follow up appointments, thereby freeing up the doctor to see other new patients or those with more complicated problems. It's a way of reducing costs. Many NP's have their own clinics.

As I was reading through the posts the thought occurred to me that a female patient in this day and age could potentially end up in an exam room with a male doctor and a male nurse, or a female doctor with a male nurse. I had to have neurosurgery a few years ago and my male doctor had a male nurse and a male PA (physicians assistant). The only women working in his office were the secretarial staff.
 
Kim-
I have changed all my Drs (even dermatologist) to women and they still always have 2 people present during exams. I often see the Nurse Practitioner so I can get in quickly and even they bring in a second person for exams.... I think you should ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS follow your "gut"... I believe its your higher power giving guidance! Never feel uncomfortable about it.
Once I got in a taxi in San Francisco and immediately my radar went off... I just looked at the guy and said (as I was opening door to leave) "I'm sorry sir but this just doesnt feel right to me" and I got out. Did he think I was a lunatic? PROBABLY- but who cares I'll never see him again!
 
>I have changed all my Drs (even dermatologist) to women and
>they still always have 2 people present during exams.

I see a female internist and, because I'm post menopausal, my interninst serves as my gynocologist and does my pap smears, too. I see her twice a year and never, ever has there been anyone else present in the exam room. It's always just been me and my doc.

I agree that there should be someone else present, as much for her protection as for my own, but sometimes when you have a doc in private practice by themselves, as mine is, they just cannot afford all that staff. My doc is in practice by herself with no partner to share the expenses. She most likely cannot afford to hire that much office help. Anyway, I love her to death and wouldn't think of going to someone else, nurse in the exam room or not.
 
OK, that would have TOTALLY freaked me out. Thank goodness you weren't there for a procedure that required anasthesia!

I go to female drs. as well. I had one male gyno in my life & was very uncomfortable about it & I decided never again. You shouldn't be embarassed--you should have health care providers who make you feel at ease.
 
I stick with all female doctors..even my dentist. I find myself more at ease around them and it's nice to know that for some "personal" appointments, the doc and I have the same equipment. LOL!
 
How interesting. I've been going to my male ob/gyn for years and have NEVER had a nurse in the room during my exams. He's incredibly professional so I am not uncomfortable in the least but I do wonder what happened to that rule about have someone else in the room. I guess I would feel more strongly about it if I had to change doctors and it was a stranger to me. I would hate that vulnerable feeling.
 
>How interesting. I've been going to my male ob/gyn for years
>and have NEVER had a nurse in the room during my exams. He's
>incredibly professional so I am not uncomfortable in the least
>but I do wonder what happened to that rule about have someone
>else in the room. I guess I would feel more strongly about it
>if I had to change doctors and it was a stranger to me. I
>would hate that vulnerable feeling.

Darli Ann, I'm not so certain that's the law. I'll ask my DH about that. I think it's smart, though. It protects both the doctor and the patient.

Also, just for the record, because as a nurse I think this is important, when I need a physicain I try to choose the BEST one. I don't really care if the doctor is a male or a female. I'm comforted by intelligence and the ability to apply knowledge, as well as an attiude of compassion. I want somone who is willing to take the time to sit with me and explain things in a manner that I can understand. The worst GYN I ever went to was a woman. Her bedside manner was horrid, and morally/philosophically we were on different planets!
 
The laws may be different in California: I was told that a male doctor must have another person in the room, but a female doctor doesn't. This protects both the patient and the doctor.

A friend of mine had a doctor who would specifically have her keep only her bra on (with a gown) and he would unhook her bra. I thought that was totally inappropriate, but she didn't seem bothered by it.
 
You might want to clarify that statement, "The laws may be different in California: I was told that a male doctor must have another person in the room, but a female doctor doesn't. This protects both the patient and the doctor."

In California, a female doctor working on a female is not required to have someone else present, but a female doctor working on a male is. My DH had a physical with a female doctor, and she had a nurse in the room with her - for her sake as much as my DH's.

I have a male physician and a female OBGYN. I like and respect both. I did specifically search for a female OBGYN - I just feel more comfortable with a woman. I took my DD17 to her for her first exam, and DD17 thought she was great, too. Well, as great as you can think of someone who seen that much of you...
 
Hey ladies,

I know now that I will be searching for a new doctor! I think I will search for one that is totally out of that building! I told dh just a few weeks ago that this same dr. gave me a physical with Pap and all and never checked my breast in this one instance. But when he has checked my breast it was with no nurse!

Now I will concentrate on finding a physician that I am comfortable with and make sure there is a nurse present during examination. No matter who he is or how much I know him, I just don't think an examination should be done without someone else there. You never know what someone is really like. Even doctors can have sick twisted minds!

you ladies have been very helpful to me and I totally appreciate it!


kim
 
I talked to my DH about this tonight (he's a pediatrician). He said he's not aware of any laws regarding chaperones in the exam room but this was strongly encouraged in their education for their own protection. Obviously pediatrics is very different from OB/GYN, but you have to be very careful in peds as well, and he has a chaperone (not necessarily a nurse) present during all exams on BOTH male and female children and teenagers.

He said he can't imagine any doctor examining a patient without an assistant present. He believes this is necessary for ALL patients, both male and female.

Just thought you might like a docs perspective--HTH
 
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