I was so mad...

I have seen worse on such little ones, but your MIL sure did cross that line!

It's hard to say. In hindsight, (after nearly 17 with my late MIL) I could have gone any which way with this one. Sometimes it was better to let DH handle it, but many times it was best I did (I would be nicer with Mom!). You know the dynamics of your relationship with your MIL, but it sounds like you have several options to consider.

Also is this the worst she does? Or is this just one of many things she does that are a problem? It's true, you should always pick your battles, but this seems to be an ongoing problem and not the only one (esp. since it really has you quite upset).

Good luck, and let us know how it goes. And you are a lovely family!
 
Good point Lydia? Yes if this is the only thing vs. one of many very different.

Yes re picking the battles. It's tough too learn. My dad always said loose the battle but win the war.


Your girls are SO beautiful
 
Get rid of all of your haircutting supplies before she comes to visit!!

No, really, if I were you, (and I am known to be an outspoken firecracker!), I would sit down and nicely say something to her. If she gets upset, so be it...you are upset as well and have every right to be. She will get over it. She will not sacrifice her grandchildren because of you asking her not to cut their hair while she is visiting. Just tell her in a nice way....now would be a good time since you have had a bit of time to cool off!

By the way, your family is darling!!!

Sara B
 
I haven't read all the posts, but I'd let DH tell her if he wants to. If they get in a fight...oh, well...maybe that's what needs to happen to get her to keep her hands off your daughter's hair. Please don't take offense, but not telling her hasn't stopped it, so maybe him telling her in not-so-friendly terms will.

But...if you don't want him to tell her, tell her that you were trying to let your daughter's bangs grow out and to ask you from now on before she cuts them. Short, simple...and FIRM. Make sure you put a little umph behind your words. Look her directly in the eye, and don't smile. Say, "[name], I really wish you would have asked me before cutting her hair. We were trying to grow her bangs out. From now on, I want you to ask me before you cut the kids' hair or do anything like that." If she tries to brush it off, say "I understand, MIL, but from now on, please don't do that. I expect you to ask from now on."

And just keep repeating it over and over and over. If she fusses or throws a little fit, too bad. That's not your fault or your problem, and you need to know that. If she is going to go against what you want for your family, then she should be treated the way anyone else would who cut your daughter's hair without your permission.

Now, next time she visits, if she cuts your daughter's hair without asking, once you've told her to, then you get a little in-her-face about it. "MIL, what did I say last time you visited? Didn't I tell you not to cut the kids' hair without asking me? So, why did you cut my daughter's hair without asking me?" If she argues about it, I'd simply draw the line: "You won't be visiting anymore until you can respect my wishes for my family."

I've got a very difficult mother myself, and my advice comes tried and true from my own personal experiences. It may sound harsh, but it works like a miracle cure!
 
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