I have a very senstitive problem...I need some feedbac...

[slnewmanpt]

RE: I have a very senstitive problem...I need some fee...

Thank you all again for your overwhelming support. Maybe my dh should join the Cathe forum! :7 Not to mention start working out with her. That would give him an outlet for sure.:+ Actually he's an artist and he's in a field he hates so that doesn't help much.
He called me today to tell me he got a job that has really good medical insurance and he feels like he's going to be happy there. It doesn't pay nearly what he was making, but I didn't want to burst his bubble.
I don't think people realize how badly words hurt and they don't ever go away. Once said, they're never really forgotten. Oh well, I had five children and I know they don't mean 90% of what they say when they're growing up. Oh yeah, I forgot DH is 51!
Just reading all your responses today gave me the strength not to say anything back to him, so I have to say once again, you guys are the greatest!

Sherry http://www.gif-seite.de/vorschaubilder/smilies/laola.gif

http://www.picturetrail.com/Peanut7

 

[julin]

Sherry -- I already wrote about my thoughts on the emotional outbursts, but I'm coming back to post again because I remembered something that might be important to know.

Your husband is in a very vulnerable state right now. Since he will probably have to use the internet to look at online job postings I wanted to warn you that this is sometimes the time that men get involved in internet porn. It has happened to me and some of my friends when our DH's weren't working. I'm NOT saying that it WILL happen, I'm just saying that unemployment makes men vulnerable and some will use porn to soothe the hurt.

Just a word of warning ...

Juli

 

[jackier]

RE: I have a very senstitive problem...I need some fee...

Hi Sherry,

I have 5 children also and my husband was 52 when the company went bankrupt. Fortunately, he retired from a big company when he was 51 and we have the benefits left over from his retirement. He was rehired within 4 mons. of being laid off, but he took a large cut in salary. That seems to be the way it goes. I know what you mean when you say you have to ignore half of what kids(teens esp.) say in anger. I struggle with this, though because I am trying to allow them to speak their minds, but RESPECTFULLY!! What a struggle with boys! (Just shoot me now.) However, I would sit down with your husband after he starts this new job and discuss the way he handled this. (Think Dr.Phil lol!) But I would not let it pass. I'm so happy for you that he's found another job! Take care.

Jackie

 

[KathyH]

RE: I have a very senstitive problem...I need some fee...

Hi Sherry! I'm very glad to hear this news. Unfortunately today nobody once their laid off will make the same salary as they once did; that's just the way it goes now; my husband too is making $20K less than he did before but we're managing. You did the right thing by not saying anything to him. Just be excited for him boost up his confidence & just love him & always be there for him; that's all he really wants from you. Again I couldn't be happier for you both; everything will work out. My prayers were answered. Cyber Hugs sweetie!! Kathy:*

 

[wutherhi]

RE: I have a very senstitive problem...I need some fee...

Oh, Sherry, I'm so glad your sweetie found a job! I do agree, though, that once he gets on his feet, it would be wise to discuss his reaction now that he will be a little more reasonable. You can use this time to let him know how it made you feel and give him time to apologize (grovel at your feet? . But although your problem has been relieved, it hasn't gone away until you feel reassured that he's sorry and that it will never happen again. But that will be so much easier now that the pressure is off!

Best,
Shari

 

[dani21496]

I'm really sorry you're going through this hard time! I know how you feel! I've been there!

I agree, his behavior is not acceptable. It sounds like he's acting like a "Fair Weathered Friend". Yes, he's all nice and loving when things are going good, but when they go bad he lashes out. Let him know you will not put up with this, period!