I had the saddest conversation at the gym on Sunday

Let's see, how do you determine that I'm not healthy when you don't even know me?. Is Cathe much over 101 lbs at 5'2? Is she unhealthy to you? Not trying to start a war, just curious. I'm very upset that you would call me sad and I don't think that it's nice for us to determine that this woman (who none of us know) is sad. Perhaps, like me, she has been 165 lbs before at 5'2 and remembers what it feels like to be laughed at for being obese. The world is cruel to obese people but then when you try hard and don't indulge in pigging out on weekends and on holidays, then you're sad. I guess I don't get it.
Lisa
 
Erica, my experience was very similar to yours. Like you, I lost control when I allowed myself that one taste, which led to one meal, which led to one day, which led to all weekend, which led to a full-blown binge-eating disorder that left me at over 300 pounds. I think I've got it under control now. At forty-four, I've been nearly six years without blowing back up or starving myself to nothing, but it's been a long road, and I still live in terror that I'll shoot back up to 300+. The fear even wakes me up some nights. In fact, sometimes, after I've eaten something I shouldn't, I honestly expect to see that woman looking back at me from the mirror, and I'm surprised to see someone who looks relatively normal.

I agree. Eating disorders are baffling. It's so easy to truly lose control, and if we knew, really knew, why it was happening, maybe we'd have more weapons to fight it. Food is an obsession for me, no question about it. I'm either obsessed with eating it, obsessed with not eating it, or obsessed with eating the right amounts and the right kinds, but it's an obsession any way you look at it, and apparently it always will be with me.

Laura, as for the woman at the gym, I'm afraid this is her battle. Until she either asks for help, or until she goes off the deep end and either gains or loses too much weight, there's not much you can do for her, I don't think. Her fear may be very real. She's not ready for that cookie, and she really may be teetering on the edge of control. That one cookie may be the cookie that sends her into a binge-eating disorder. It's a terrible cycle. I was there for about three years of the six I've had my binge-eating under control. I didn't "cheat" even on Thanksgiving or Christmas because I just wasn't ready. I can do it now, without losing control, but I honestly couldn't have then.

Shari
 
Oh, Melissa, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Ensure is so important for cancer patients. It really helps them keep up their strength to fight the cancer. Your story made me realize that one of my mother's friends, who died a few years ago, was also anorexic until the day she died. How terribly sad.

-Nancy
 
well there is a fine line bewteen disciplined and being fearful of food b/c you won't be able to control the eating. that is a eating disorder, when you lose contorl and when you lose control you question yourself as a person(why am I weak?if i could control this life would be better,but i messed up)

lisa you do make points but if we are just judging the sitation as laura states it she is FEARFUL of food and therefore can be an issue.

and i do gain a bit of weight during my indulges but its mostly water weight that goes right away when i am back on the healthy eating plan during the week. i also only allow ONE day of indulgence,we go out to eat and i have dessert.i don't indulge the whole weekend but i allow myself leway.

i am 5' 134lbs but i am NOT overweight or obese as much as i want to think it i am not. i am healthy,strong, i workout everymorning with yoga and 5-6 days a week with weights and i love to run. when i started to really gain control of the fear i found who i was as a strong person.


my name kassia, i am a recovering bulmic and my sisters are recovering anorexics. we understand what the fear is like. the world may be cruel to the obese but they are also cruel to those that are dangerously thin. we all get judged on the person we are b/c the eating habits we have.


kassia



When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be
disappointed to discover they are not it -- Bernard Bailey
 
Thanks, HB. Orthorexia sounds like my mother!! :eek:

My DH likes to drink diet soda, and he brought some to my Mom's house once and she said she didn't want that poison in her house. She hates that she needs synthroid, and complains about having to be on a pill for the rest of her life. Meanwhile, she never mentions how that pill restored her to normal when she was so exhausted she could hardly move.

Wow, this sure is interesting.

-Nancy
 
Lisa-
I totally sympathize. I was also 165 lbs. at 5'3" and it was very painful. People made fun of me. I then went down to 90 lbs. and became anorexic, thinking I had to be very strict with my eating. Actually, both states were completely unnatural for me.

Being too strict was what caused the weight gain in the first place. Denying yourself just causes bingeing, which causes overweight, which causes more dieting and more bingeing. If you relax and allow your natural appetite to take over, and forget about strict rules, your weight normalizes to where it is supposed to be. It took me a long time to learn this, because it was so simple I just couldn't see it. The natural state of your body is neither fat nor thin. If you satisfy your hunger, and stay away from empty calories, your body will find its natural, normal weight.

To prove my point, my weight has stayed between 114 and 120 now for over 20 years. I'm still trying to become even less strict, but for the most part, my dieting and bingeing days are behind me.

-Nancy
 
My SIL is like this. Many times family members will say "Judy never eats-- she is so thin----someone share a cracker with Judy" they make fun of it. My soon to be 16 yr old daughter (6 days to be exact--she reminds me ) said at thanksgiving time "Does aunt judy think she looks good being that thin. Her eyes are sunken in and her neck has skin hanging..she has no chest..she looks ill" We did over hear her husband say "JUdy did you eat?????????"He actualy had a concerned look on his face. So maybe there is some issues there. She is known not to eat-- and if she does eat , she works it all off. She is known to be up at 3a.m. to workout. She was never over weight. Her lower half use to be heavier. But not once in my 22 years of marriage has she ever been BIG. She once told us that she loves when her jeans hang off her. And laughs cause she can wear her son's clothes.
 
This is a very interesting thread.

I suffer from what my psychologist used to call "disordered eating" as opposed to a diagnosed eating disorder. What that means, for me, is that when things are up in the air in my life, my weight either goes way up or down.

This was an interesting exercise I did - chart out your weight over the course of years, then overlay that with what was going on in your life at the time. It is really an eye-opener. Every time things have been bad for me, my weight plummets in the low 100s (I'm 5'7, so this is stick thin for me). Then I climb back up to mid-130s. It's a vicious cycle and I don't think I've really broken it. Hmmm.

Marie
 
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