I am sooooo mad Help

M

merrybaker

Cathlete
Ok I'm sure Some of you have read my posts about my X Owing 15000.00 in back child support ... The State finally caught up to him . We had Our day in court on July 18th ... It was a joke . The State has a new attorney . Anyhow my X made 3 quick payments totalling about 800 $ just before court .... So The new Attorney says we are canceling todays court infront of the judge ,cuz he will surly go to jail if we go infront of judge .He says he wants my X to rebuild a new paying history before he goes infront of judge ...So He changed the date and said he would mail us both a NEW DATE !! Well my X just showed up to say good bye to my kids as hes going to NEW MEXICO for some 4 month job !!!!! I called the state and they say they cant really stop him from doing this ,and they gotta give him the benefit of dought ..I'm like oh my gosh it will be another 3 years now before they catch up to him again !!! I'm like who was looking out for my minor kids .I'm so bummed , . I mean cant that new attorney see theres a reason my X is so far behind !! DUH My hands are tied and it hardly seems fair ..
 
there are so many loopholes in the system I don't even know where to start. I so sorry this is turning into such a painful process for you :( You would think if it involves minors there would be more careful scrutiny. Ugh. I do hope things look up for you soon.


"you miss 100% of the shots you never take"

Debbie
 
I am so sorry. I wish that there was something that could be done to help you. What is going on with that atty? I believe very strongly that what comes around, goes around. If you keep doing what is right by you and your children and you will be blessed. People like your ex never finish in first place, though it seems as though he has gotten a break here. It will haunt him and come back to bite him in the a$$. He'll come back for the new date and the judge will see that he only makes payments before he has to appear in court, and then hopefully they will nail him. How is his relationship with his kids? I can't imagine it can be very good since he doesn't assume any responsibilty for them. That will hurt him the most in the future.

I will say a little prayer for you, I know this is such a hard time. God will provide for your kids. Just hang in there!

Missy
 
I have run into the same kind of thing here in Ohio, and there isn't a darn thing you can do. I beat myself up trying to understand the injustice of this issue but the bottom line is that there is NO justice for deadbeat parents. My son is now 20, and we fought for so long over thousands of dollars and it is fruitless. My advice is to let it go and know you are on your own insofar as this is concerned. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I lost too much sleep in retrospect over this, when my energies needed to be focused on my child.
In the long run, this guy will be the loser, he is missing out on the once in a lifetime experience of watchin his child grow up. You as a mom get that, he probably never will, which is ultimately his loss.

You may see this as your loss now, but what goes around does come around.

Been there, done that. You are not alone.
 
I don't get it--I thought there was some way the IRS could deduct straight from his paycheck for child support? Or is it different in every state?
 
Ty all for your support .. Oh yes they can take it from his taxes ..But he doesnt file . My kids will be long gone before this is resolved .And no he really doesnt have a relationship with them infact they are more adult then my X . I just thought this time the state would nail him but NO they really let him slide !!! Now he really just has to stay out of Wyoming !now THat gets my goat soooo bad . MY hubby Pays all of his support !!! It just doesnt seem fair .
 
Your hubby is a fine man for doing what he is supposed to and taking care of his children even though he is remarried with other obligations and responsibilities. It sounds like your children do have a man in their life after all! :)
 
Regarding the paycheck deduction issue:

Many of these deadbeats have jobs which enable them to hide their income, ie car salesmen, bartenders, waiters, where the majority of their pay is either in commission form or case that they must only declare a portion of, therefore it never looks like they make any money and you can't squeeze blood from a turnip...so?

My ex never had an increase in support the whole (short) time that he did pay. He was a car salesman and never reported his commissions or filed taxes. He claimed to not have the money.

The system does not exist in reality like it does on Lifetime network...:(
 
Ty you all for your support . It just so doesnt seem right . I stll can't believe the State !! After all they dont work for me they dont work for My X they work for the Child/children. Know what I'm saying !!
 
It doesn't seem right. That's true. But...tough love coming here...you gotta move on. You can't allow your kids to grow up being "victims". It's a tough lump, and it's a bitter pill to swallow, but as soon as you decide (and you REALLY have to make a conscious decision) to live without the money he owes, and say "I can do it without his help", you will become a much happier person and better parent.

I work with a guy who wanted his son so badly (when his ex threatened to take him) that he told her she could have all the money in their savings account, anything she wanted from his home, and he wouldn't want a dime in return for child support. He now has his son and has NEVER looked back.

You need to start looking forward and never look back, too.

Many blessings to you and your kids!
 
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