I am so upset

MARY1616

MARY1616

Cathlete
Hi, Yesterday I went to the dr. and found out that We are having a BOY!!! This ofcourse is great news, my ds will have a baby brother and they will be close in age. Anyway I called some of my family members to tell them the great news and my mom said she is disappoointed that it is not a girl but that she will get over it and others said well I guess you will have to go for #3. I dont have plans at this point for 3 kids and I am really p***** off that people are let down. People have this image that unless you have a girl, your children will leave you alone when they get older. Please give me some feed back...I am ready to scream!!!
 
Hi Mary,

First of all, congratulations on your boy! That IS wonderful news and it will be so much fun for you to watch your boys grow up together!

I went through this with my family also. I have 3 boys and my last child was a girl. Everyone was thrilled when I was having my first son, but after that it seemed like my other boys (twins) were a huge disappointment. It was very upsetting to me - like you, we had family members who actually felt let down about having more boys in the family. Then, when I got pregnant again, people would make a big deal about hoping that this baby would be a girl so that I would "finally get my girl". Really, I didn't care at all and would have been perfectly happy with another boy. People would say this right in front of my boys - I thought it was so rude - as if sons weren't as desirable as daughters. Anyway, I did have a girl and even now, people say to me how happy they are that I "finally got my girl". Whatever. I'm just grateful to have healthy, happy children!

Congratulations again! We always say that the best gift we ever gave our oldest son was one of his brothers - they are like soul mates.

Erica
 
First of all, congrats Mary. Second, if you are into arranged marriage, I will have 2 girls similar in age to your boys.lol.
Next, people have told me that boys are closer to their moms as kids and stay more cuddly. I agree it will be nice for the kids to have a same sex sibling to play with. This was one of the reasons I wanted another girl. Both hubby and I wanted 2 girls, but when we told family they were all disappointed for various reasons and had hoped for a boy. Hubby then felt cheated and said we should change our order into one for a boy (if only that worked), since everyone was so disappointed.

Where are your posts on the moms to be check in? Cone, join us. how is your mom doing?
 
Dear Mary,

Congratulations! I know exactly where you are coming from and have been dealing with it for years. When I found out my third was a boy everyone acted so disappointed. All of the comments were hurtful I had this feeling that I will just love him that much more & I have. My little guy is three and I think it made me bond with him even more.
I am now pregnant with number four also a boy and am thrilled. This will complete my team! You can imagine all the girl comments this time. I am numb this time to those comments because I heard them so many times before. I will actually say please don't send my little guy any bad energy. We have picked out a couple names and during Christmas my mom actually said at the table "I hate that name".
Who says that?
Just know you will be that much closer because you protect anything and everything about your Lil guy. My husband always says it's one more boy to adore me. My boy's are my life and I know they will be in my life forever. My belief is God chose me to be a boy mom and that truly is a special job.
Have a great day
Kim
PS My oldest is in his second year of college and he is one of my best friend
 
Congratulations! How exciting for you!

I only have one child (a boy) but get horrible comments from people as well about when I am going to have another. He is only 2 1/2 months old! And fact is, we do not plan to have another so when I tell people that, they act devastated that we won't get our little girl. I have no clue what people are thinking or why they think they should even make the comments that they do.

Enjoy your two little boys. They will have so much fun growing up together!
 
People just slay me with their ingnorant comments! I swear. I didn't find out what I'm having for this (or my last) pregnancy. When I'm asked, "Do you know what you're having?" It ALWAYS follows with "I think everyone should have a boy AND a girl" huhh?? Like it's something we have control over and should be disappointed if we don't have one of each sex. Congratulation on your BOY!
Susan C.M.
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Oh my!!! Such nonsense. This is such a happy and wonderful time for you. I"m surprised at your mother. I have friends who are guys and are super close to their moms. It just depends on your relationship with them, not a generalization that all boys leave you alone. That's just ignorance.
Boys are so awesome. As well as girls. Be happy and turn your nose up from those silly comments. I would be so upset if those were the reactions I got too. Who cares about other people, you are having this baby for YOU not them. Enjoy!!!!! That lil boy will be such a charmer, they'll all forget how stupid they're being.;-)
 
Mary,
Congratulations on your great news!!!
I know it's so tough to ignore what other people's comments are - especially coming from family!!! But please try to!
There are many, many great things that come from having two boys, especially when they're close in age!!! My hubby has a brother 2 years younger then he is, and they are so close, and grew up helping each other out with everything - and still do! And if I have met ANYONE who would not leave their parents to their own devices when they are older, it is my hubby and my brother-in-law. They are so close to their parents, and will always be there for them, no matter what!!!
 
Congratulations! And I am so sorry for the hurtful things people have been saying. But take heart - if you announced that this was a girl, you would have just as many comments lamenting the fact that your son won't have a "playmate", and you'll have to try for #3. They will ALWAYS find something negative to say. So just
tell them that you are so happy that your son will have a little brother, you were "hoping for a boy" (just to shut them up) and the family name will carry on, and you are just glad to know he is developing healthy, etc. That should do it!

I have a 2yo girl, and when I got my sono for baby #2 and found out it was a boy (Cole, now 7 mos) I actually cried with shock and um...was it disappointment? I'll never admit it, but I was just sooo sure Alyssa was getting her little sister (my sister and I are so close) and we even had her name picked out! The point of my long story is that ALL moms are so happy with what they get! And it all works out. We just need the rest of the world to understand that.
Best of luck to you!
OH and PS, keep the names a secret if you can! My mom and MIL made faces at a lot of the names we bounced off her, but we just chose our favorite and it all worked out!
Lisa
 
Thank you all soooo much, I feel blessed that I have all of you I can vent to . I am also keeping this little boobies name a secret. I told my mom that I was not telling anyone and she said fine if I am just anyone. I should also add that she is beginning her chemo at the end of this month so things are a little out of whack with her.(still I did not like her comment). I spoke with her this morning and of course she said that she was just kidding...anyway it does not matter I am so happy to have my new little man and keeping his name a secret will be my greatest revenge(ha!ha!)
 
I had the same thing, but with girls. People will say stupid stuff no matter what gender. My first was a girl, and the second was a girl. THe comment then was, "oh, you can try again for a boy." HUH? I was only trying for a baby.

Then I was pregnant with #3, which was a girl, at least according to the ultrasound. Again, more stupid comments, "Is you husband upset he won't have a boy?"

And then #3 was actually a boy. More stupid comments. "Your husband must be so happy" and "now your family is complete." Whatever. Again, we were only trying for babies.

The leader in the 'stupid comment' dept was my mother! Congratulations on your addition. kristan
 
congratulations on your baby boy!!
I know exactly what you mean. I have two sons and love them both dearly. While pg with my second son i heard all the stupid/negative comments. People were (still are) telling me to go for a third while i was still pg, to try and have a daughter. When people ask me now if I am going to have another baby, I just tell them me and hubby are extremely happy with our 2 boys and i wouldn't have it any other way.
 
I would be p****d too. I say congratulations to you regardless! If someone says anything else to you, you could share your honest feelings with them, since they have taken such liberties with you. (So if your honest feelings are at the moment to tell them to go ski into a tree, then by all means do so }( )
 
First I would like to tell you congrats on your news. I too went through the same thing. My husband's aunt actually said, "Oh, that is too bad" when I told her that I was having another boy. I swear that people do not think sometimes. I couldn't feel more blessed that I have two boys. I just told people that I was so glad that we were having another boy b/c I wanted another boy.

If people are being so rude, I'd tell them how you feel. If they are that insensitive then you shouldn't sugar coat your response to them.

As for people assuming that when boys) become adults they abandon their parents, that is ridiculous. If you have a close and loving relationship with your children throughout their lives (regardless of their sex), I don't see why they would abandon their parents. Sheesh!
 
Congratulations! I know just how you feel. I had my second son 4 months ago. My neighbor actually kept saying..."oh, thats just too bad!" when I told her he was a boy. I really hate the comment about trying for a girl next. What really ticks me off is that I want a third child...always have. It'll probably be a boy, and we already have a boy name picked out. I think three boys would be great. But the thought of the comments with that pregnancy irritates the crap out of me.
 
I would consider a 3rd...but I do not think I would tell anyone the sex even if I did find out. Right now I look foward to enjoying my 2 boys.
 
Mary--
I don't know what it is about pregnancy and motherhood that makes people think they can make all sorts of invasive and hurtful comments. If people don't have something helpful or edifying to say, then they should just keep quiet, IMHO.

And by the way, congratulations on your baby boy. Children are always a blessing. You'll always get good support here.

Maggie:)
 
Congratulations!

It is amazing to me how some people can be so ignorant and vocal about it! As long as your baby is healthy, who cares if it's a boy or girl. Isn't that what's important?

Some friends of ours sent out Christmas cards saying that they wanted everyone to "hope and pray" that they have a little girl since they already have 2 boys. Well, they found out they're having another boy. Gee, how will that boy feel if he ever finds out his parents had their friends and family "hoping and praying" for a girl. Not a happy and healthy baby, but a girl. It just made me so mad! Sorry to go off on a tangent but I just don't understand how people can have their priorities so off.

I think that as soon as your family sees your new little boy their hearts will melt and they'll love him just like the son you already have.

Good luck and congrats again,
 
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