I am so ANGRY and need to vent!!!

banslug

banslug

Cathlete
I have friends, lots of them, but I want to vent with THIS group of friends.

I AM SO ANGRY! :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

I just came from the viewing of an 11-year old boy.
11!!!!!
I grew up with his mom who is our school's art teacher, my parents are close with his grandparents, my younger DS is friends with his sister, and I graduated with the dad.
He died on Monday after losing his year-long battle with leukemia.

I am MAD! Stinkin' MAD and if I swore, I WOULD!!!!!

When is this ever going to end? When will they find a cure, or at least something to extend the likelihood of a healthy and productive survival?

I'm personally attached to this in so many ways....DH's passing from leukemia in 2004, my mom's 2.5 year on-going battle with kidney cancer, our dear Gin and other forum members here, the 3 year old in our town with ALL....

I mean ENOUGH!

I sat at the viewing in the room, and just looking at this child brought back so many awful memories of DH and his battle and passing. I sat there and could not STOP thinking how HORRIBLE it must be to be standing there, greeting all your visitors, while your 11 year-old son is in his casket.

I'm SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!

Gayle

(thanks for listening)
 
Gayle,
I am so sorry. My heart aches for you and that poor family:( I cried as I read this because I too am MAD! I'm so tired of hearing how cancer effects everyone. I lost my sister a few years ago at 25 from brain cancer and boy was I angry. The ironic thing was, she worked in research to find a cure.
I hope and pray that God gives these researchers the talent to wipe away cancers and spare the families all the heartache we go through. My prayers are with you and his family. I hope he is finally at peace. Good luck during this awful time:(
 
I am in tears Gayle. I am so sorry.
My father had a form of leukemia when he was 29 but he recovered. That was almost 40 years ago. He was one of the lucky ones.

What you wrote about is extremely heartbreaking. But reading your post helps me put things into perspective for myself; we need to remember what is really important in life, don't we?
:(

Clarissa
 
{{{Gayle}}}

I understand your feelings completely. My mom passed in 1997 (Christmas morning) from luekemia. A nasty, nasty 3 month stay in the hospital. DH's mom passed in 1999 (while we were on our honeymoon) from ovarian cancer. It seems like everyone I know either has someone in the family or has a close friend who has gone thru this. A friend/coworker of mine is going for a breast biopsy this afternoon - breast cancer runs in her fam - mom and sister. I understand the frustration, and I wish something could be found to cure this. Somedays I feel like getting cancer is unavoidable these days, and I worry about when it will be my turn. I also sometimes think that there is a cure or better treatment, but why release it bring it to light, sad to say, but it is a money maker for the medical community and the drug companies. Sucks

Nan
 
I do understand. A friend of mine's son who was 8 passed away from Leukemia almost a year ago (July 5th). The crap they went through, the fight, the pain and then he died. It was heartbreaking and maddening. I work as an Oncology nurse and get pretty emotional and upset about my patients, but when it's a kid... The viewing was so hard... :(
 
Thank you for your comments, ladies.

I keep picturing the look on the sister's face, as she stood between her parents, greeting people she didn't KNOW! Many people not even acknowledging her at all. Such a blank look, a look that just KILLS me to remember.

My younger DS and I are getting the sister a gift card to Build a Bear Workshop so she can build a bear (or other critter) to remember her brother. When DH died, our church did this for both my boys and they LOVE their animals to this day. I hope it gives her some form of comfort for the rest of her life.

I'm STILL MAD!

Gayle
 
Nan, like you, I feel like that 'bullet' is biding its time and just waiting to strike me. It's HARD not to think that way when you're surrounded by all this nonsense.

Chris, let me just give you a loud SHOUT OUT for your career choosing. The nurses were the ones we relied on day in and day out, for 14 months. The NURSES were the compassionate ones who spent their time and energy on us when we realized there was just nothing left to fight with. Besides the patient, the NURSES are the true heroes.

Gayle
 
Gayle, your post brings me to tears. Another day of rain isn't helping my mood any.

How absolutely awful for this family to lose a child so young, and for you to have suffered from so much cancer touching your life as well.

My DH has had so much cancer in his family that he feels it's only a matter of 'when', not 'if' he'll get cancer.

Hugs to you and prayers for this family for their tragic loss.
 
banslug said:
Chris, let me just give you a loud SHOUT OUT for your career choosing. The nurses were the ones we relied on day in and day out, for 14 months. The NURSES were the compassionate ones who spent their time and energy on us when we realized there was just nothing left to fight with. Besides the patient, the NURSES are the true heroes.

Gayle
Click to expand...

Thank You, Gayle. I've been doing this for 22 years now. And I put my heart and soul into my patients. I love them all. They teach ME so much , I am actually lucky to be a part of their lives (or deaths in some circumstances). The mom of the boy who died 11 months ago today from Leukemia, posted this on her blog today:

God saw he was getting tired
And a cure was not to be,
So God put his arms around him
And whispered come with me.

With tear filled eyes, we watched
Him suffer and fade away,
Although we loved him dearly,
We could not make him stay.

A golden heart stopped beating,
Hard working hands put to rest.
God broke our heart to prove to us,
He only takes the best.

I can't imagine EVER losing a child...
 
{{{GAYLE}}}

I am so terribly, terribly sorry to hear of your friends' son passing. Having just lost one of my best friends to cancer last month, my heart goes out to you. My thoughts & prayers are with you, your friends, and family. Hang in there.
 
gayle, im so sorry to hear of your loss. my heart/prayers go out to you, your family, and the little boy's family as well. that is so horrible to lose someone that young.

not to sound like a pessimist but i find it hard to believe that there's no cure out there. cancer is unfortunately very common, so how they havent found better treatment is beyond me. so much money is generated for the pharmaceutical companies that even if they did find a cure, i doubt it will surface. healthcare is so messed up, everything is exorbitantly priced and most people cant afford it, all because of the greed of these companies. now that is what makes me sick.
 
Gayle,

(Eyes full of tears) I don't know why. It is maddening.

(((((hugs to you))), I'm so sorry for all this to happen in your life. Please talk to someone and also vent to them. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you. Someone to cry on their shoulder, to workout with, walks, projects...anything to get you through this maddening phase and beyond. You have been through such ordeals.

Come back here and vent away anytime. PM me even, at anytime, if you think you can't vent anymore here. I'll listen. I know you have lots of friends, but still...

Janie
 
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Gayle,

I am sorry to hear of the loss of this young man. I cannot even imagine what the parents must be going through right now. Although I don't have the answers I can tell you about a book I just read where the author talks about what he feels are the causes of so many cancers in today's world. I know you are a clean eater so you may have some knowledge of this already.
"Living in Divine Health" by Dr Don Colbert. He feels that all of the pesticides play a big factor as well as the many processed foods out there. A very good read if you are interested.

Sorry for you & your family & friends. Prayers to all!
 
I absolutely think the hardest thing in the world to deal with is losing a child. To lose a child to such a vicious disease when so much time and research is being put into working towards cures is unfathomable. My heart goes out to his family and friends.
 
I've lost many in my people in my life to cancer and know too many people who've also lost loved ones to it. It is a horrible disease. It seems to be getting worse and worse. I feel as though, some day, in the future, it will pretty much be a guarantee that EVERYONE get cancer at some point in life. Hopefully the prognosis will be better by then but that doesn't make it any less scary or sad...:(

Hugs to you, Gayle. I don't blame you for being angry.
 
I'm so sorry about this. It's just wrong, wrong, wrong. I understand your anger, but please try to work through it because it will only make things harder. Maybe there's some healthy way you can channel this energy. (((hugs)))

Amy
 
I'm so sorry for everyone's loss

There is nothing more unnatural than a child leaving us in death. It is a terrible experience and unfortunately I have experience with that too. I have a son who suffers from sickle cell anemia which is a painful blood disorder and I've been told a few times during his young life that he may die. It hasn't happened but when he is ill and needs to be hospitalized he is on the same floor as those with cancer related illnesses. It can be so draining and painful an experience for parents and relatives alike. My heart is with all of you, please hang in there for the rest of your family and friends.
 
Galye, I am so sorry. Just like Chris, I am an oncology nurse as well. I treat mostly adults because honestly, I do not feel I could be a pediatric nurse for the reasons you have mentioned. I have lost family members to cancer as well as a 16yo cousin with sarcoma. We will never understand why things like this happen, but the best medicine is to be a good friend in this family's time of need.
Lisa
 
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