I am really frustrated & need advice

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
Now it's my turn to whine. :p This week is the first week in more than 1 1/2 years I don't have a single night mtg. So this is how normal people live! I love it & I am now seriously craving a regular 9 to 5 job. I don't mind working overtime now & then or working a night or two once or twice a month, but this 2-3 nights a week is just killing me.

I checked my schedule next week & I'm here Monday until midnight & Tuesday & Wednesday until at least 10:00. I feel like crying. :-( Not only is it exhausting, it completely screws up my workout routine. I just can't get up at 6 am to do cardio when I'm here until midnight. I might be able to fit in a couple trips to the gym between mtgs to lift, but they'll be crappy workouts since I'll be tired.

I believe I'm ready for a career change but I don't know what to do. I've been in this business since I finished grad school 12 years ago so my experience & skills are limited. I'll be 40 in a year & I don't see myself going back to school--besides, when would I have the time? I'm even willing to take a cut in pay, but I can't afford TOO much of a cut.

OK this is getting long but I feel like I'm at a crossroads & at my age if I don't do something now I'll be stuck at this ridiculous job working 60-70 hours a week, having no personal life & barely squeezing in the things I love (mainly exercise), plus not really enjoying them when I do b/c I'm so freakin exhausted.

Has anyone ever been in this situation or one like it? If yes, what did you do? Or am I just stuck working every waking hour until I'm eligible for my pension? x(
 
You're never stuck in anything and always have the power to change. Frankly, I think this will be the best change that you've made!

Why don't you start by talking to a career counselor or a recruiter and see what positions your skills fit? You may be surprised to see that you are more qualified than you think. You may learn about some positions that you didn't really think suited you. You may even find a position that you are suited for that will also send you for schooling to hone any skills that aren't quite perfected. I actually have a close family friend (if you want a referral) in your general area that can probably spend some time talking to you to give you incite.

Start talking to people, as best you can while working there, to see what's out there. Research a bit on the net and start checking local papers, etc. This is sort of the same as talking to a career counseling, but you'd be surprised at how many great ideas, input and contacts the people around you have that you don't even know about! I was in your position a bit ago and just by talking to some of the people around me, I learned about a lot of options and possibilties.

One thing's for sure, Laura. You are a hard worker with a lot of drive, a great personality and the talent and skills to get the job done. That alone is priceless and will get you far in this decision to make a change.
 
I totally agree with Christine and although I don't have any further advice I just want to tell you Laura that its never too late to change career directions. You have a grad degree and probably can do a number of different things. It will just take some time and research but you'll get there.
 
There have been two times in my life when I did big, big changes. Since I hate change (most of us do right?) I realized, that I needed to have faith in myself, God and the Universe and just jump right off that cliff.
Seriously, life is too short to do something that makes you miserable, think about those things that make you happy and figure out a way to make them profitable. You know the saying, "do what you love and the money will follow?" Even if it means, working a bit longer where you are at to save some money, and then moving on. It is hard, but sometimes, jumping off the cliff, is the best way to go.
On another note, you stated you loved working days right? Hate the night jobs, couldn't you ask your boss or whoever about working just days, work out some arrangement or compromise?
I wish you well lauramax, I totally understand how you are feeling, been there! :)
 
Yep, I was in a situation sort of like yours once. Working until midnight trying to get research grants written, because the doc I worked for couldn't get her act together so everything was last-minute. I hated it. I lasted about two years. Fortunately I was able to transfer my writing skills to another department.

I assume your late hours are completely mandatory, and not just because the boss knows you'll do it, right? Is there any chance that you can talk and maybe reduce the amount of overtime?

Of course, I know you've mentioned before that you're tired of this job, so I'd say, get another!

Decide on some new career choices that interest you. Make a list of the skills needed. Then make a list of your skills. You might be surprised at how much of what you already know can be applied to a new job. Then maybe you'll just need a few "catch up" courses, or possibly on the job training.

Go for it, and get your life back!
 
I can truly relate to your situation . . . for the last few years, I have eagerly signed up for new challenges at work and that has been a double-edged sword. I have reaped rewards along the way, a nicer salary (although still not that great), escape from cubicle life - I've actually got 4 walls and a door now, and the chance to work with some very talented people. With that said, I've also made plenty of sacrifices when it comes to my life outside of the workplace. I usually average 60 hours a week, am in almost every single weekend, in early, here late, work from home if necessary - let's just say I've been able to take a total of 4 vacation days since January. I am turning 40 next year - and the thought of starting over is nauseating. I vow to say "no" to new ventures here - but knowing my personality, that may be a tough promise to keep. I get up at 5 in the morning - do cardio - do weights at 8 or 9 o'clock at night. I'm burnt out. How do you even find the time to make a change??? Please keep me posted - perhaps if I can latch onto one success story, it'll give me the motivation to do something myself. All of the suggestions so far are excellent - finding time to fit them in is the challenge!


Mo
 
Hi Laura

I don't have a lot to add to the advice you've got so far (all good by the way).

It can be surprising how transferable your skills are. I think it's certainly a good idea to talk to colleagues/other people who work in your field about other opportunities.

Are your evening meetings compulsory? If not, you really need to talk to your boss about cutting back on them. If you're not being paid overtime or they're not part of your job spec, then you're being taken advantage of. Try not to be confrontational though - show how cutting back on them will benefit the company (you'll have more energy to dedicate to your job as you won't be so tired all the time!).

Could you work for yourself? Or set up a small group with other people in the same field?

While you've got a night off this week (!) spend some time thinking about what you really want to do. Sometimes a career change does not take as much retraining as you think. Also, employers do appreciate people who can bring in experience of other areas to their work.

Anyway, I've gone on long enough! Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

:)
 
Thanks guys. I'm calling Christine's friend today. The sad thing is, I really do like my job, it's the hours I can't stand. I mean, it's rewarding, it's less than 5 minutes from home, I've developed a system & routine here & yes, it will be very hard to change.

But I can't keep going at this pace. It's insanity. The mtgs are mandatory & somehow I ended up attending more than any other department head even though I'm the lowest paid (yeah, I know, that's how it always is right?).

Mo, burned out is the perfect phrase. When I first started here 5 years ago I averaged 2 nights a week, but there were some weeks w/zero mtgs & there were some weeks w/3. It's just snowballed & now I'm here almost every night.

So I guess either my job changes or I change my job. I will keep you posted--thanks for the support & advice!
 
I would also recommend a little vacation time, a bit of a retreat to really think about things. I've also heard good things about the book "What Color is Your Parachute?" to help people ponder career changes. Whatever you do, give yourself a break. The sooner the better.
 
>I'll be 40 in a year & I don't see myself going back to
>school--besides, when would I have the time?

Hi - my two pennies here..:+

I went back to school recently...started in 2001 working on a degree completion program thru a Jesuit school...one of the hardest things I tried because I worked full time and had a family..took one semester off after that and went into my Masters. Just finished last August-...it was very tough but I did it. One point I want to make is that in my Bachelor's program, I was the youngest person there. I think the oldest was in their mid to late 50s! I personally believe that you're never too old to start over...esPECIALLY if it means you'll be happier.

I worked with a woman until last Friday, who at the age of 41 went back to school to become a nurse...she started her full time RN position this past Monday...took a pay cut, but it was her dream, and she was at total peace with the decision. When she left Friday, she was 43 years old starting a new career after working for government for 13 years.

Lastly...after you talk to a career counselor, why not hop on Monster.com to see what's available? You never know might be waiting for you there....

Good luck and chin up!
:7
 
I completely agree, Reese, that it's never too late to go back to school or make a career change. Although it does sound like time would be a serious roadblock in Laura's case.

I believe one should work to live, not live to work. I do love my job, but I don't think it's healthy to work to the point where you have to sacrifice so much of your personal life and free time.

It would be nice if you could stay in the state pension system. In my case, I initially took a pay cut when I left my government job to become a teacher, but on the upside, all the years I put into the pension rolled right over.

Whether you remain a public employee or venture into the private sector, I wish you the best of luck, and hope you find something you enjoy doing that still allows you to have the life you deserve!

~Cathy http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif

"Out on the roads there is fitness and self-discovery and the persons we were destined to be." -George Sheehan
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top