How would you react to this one?
- Thread starter lorihart
- Start date
candi
Cathlete
Lori,
I'm answering this now because I have been very busy at work and am just now getting to look at the Cathe site..
Let me clarify my statement by answering your question as asked. I would want to just blow off the money but by doing that I feel I would be letting my X get away with something he should not and I would be turning away money that would benefit my daughter. I agree with you about not wanting to fight with your daughter's father, but it appeared to me that you were giving up too easy.
Anyway, you asked for an opinion. If I responded too harshly it's due to the relationship I had with my X and I apologize. I just get really angry when men are allowed to skate by and lots of times I think it's because of the woman wanting to keep things civil. But that's just me
.
I'm answering this now because I have been very busy at work and am just now getting to look at the Cathe site..
Let me clarify my statement by answering your question as asked. I would want to just blow off the money but by doing that I feel I would be letting my X get away with something he should not and I would be turning away money that would benefit my daughter. I agree with you about not wanting to fight with your daughter's father, but it appeared to me that you were giving up too easy.
Anyway, you asked for an opinion. If I responded too harshly it's due to the relationship I had with my X and I apologize. I just get really angry when men are allowed to skate by and lots of times I think it's because of the woman wanting to keep things civil. But that's just me
.Oh, and I agree with you.There is nothing that you said this time that I would have misinterpted.Its obvious that he as no clue b/c he told me that I would be getting money until Nov.Then he says..."tell her she can use that to buy dog food" I was thinking...o.k,you have no idea what it cost to raise a child.
Well, this is just me. I have always felt like I didn't want him to think "we" need his money to stay a float of things.I know that this really has nothing to do with it but this is how I felt.
When he asked if DH wanted to adopt, at that time, he had no clue that he would be saving $.
Its only since his wife as been pregnate that they have been in a hurry.And I know this is why. Part of it hurts me b/c I wish I could say to him "small price to pay in order to give up your child"!x( But then I don't want him to rethink his descision b/c I want DH and I to have her all to ourselves.
She doesn't see him and he rarely calls.She hasn't benefited from him in the least.
Things are civil now b/c I really don't have the energy to fight and I have always kept it good for her sake.Even when he was closer and was an idiot, I dealt with it.But things won't be so civil (i don't think) when he realizes that he gave up his rights...he will no longer be her father and I will not be responsible to answer to his families stupid questions (they ask and say the stupidest things) answer his phone calls, or have him involved at all.
In the end I think he will be sorry.And although I agree that he should pay, a part of me wants him to pass over his rights even more.So I guess thats why I am "settling".
Anyway,I am sorry for snapping at you.Maybe I should have asked you to explain yourself.And please don't feel like you can't respond to my post...I am not AT ALL like this in real life...Im a little pussy cat
Lori
I was thinking...o.k,you have no idea what it cost to raise a child.Well, this is just me. I have always felt like I didn't want him to think "we" need his money to stay a float of things.I know that this really has nothing to do with it but this is how I felt.
When he asked if DH wanted to adopt, at that time, he had no clue that he would be saving $.
Its only since his wife as been pregnate that they have been in a hurry.And I know this is why. Part of it hurts me b/c I wish I could say to him "small price to pay in order to give up your child"!x( But then I don't want him to rethink his descision b/c I want DH and I to have her all to ourselves.
She doesn't see him and he rarely calls.She hasn't benefited from him in the least.
Things are civil now b/c I really don't have the energy to fight and I have always kept it good for her sake.Even when he was closer and was an idiot, I dealt with it.But things won't be so civil (i don't think) when he realizes that he gave up his rights...he will no longer be her father and I will not be responsible to answer to his families stupid questions (they ask and say the stupidest things) answer his phone calls, or have him involved at all.
In the end I think he will be sorry.And although I agree that he should pay, a part of me wants him to pass over his rights even more.So I guess thats why I am "settling".
Anyway,I am sorry for snapping at you.Maybe I should have asked you to explain yourself.And please don't feel like you can't respond to my post...I am not AT ALL like this in real life...Im a little pussy cat
Lori
Lori,
The pussycat in me turns into a tiger when I get the feeling a woman or child is getting the wrong end of the deal. I have been through a lot in my life too and some things, especially Dad's ignoring their legal obligations just want to make me scream. I have a 30 year old daughter that never got what she needed either financially or emotionally from her Dad and we stayed married until she was 20. But I suppose I have to take some responsibility for choosing the SOB and trying to make it work :+
I'm sure you're doing the best for your DD
The pussycat in me turns into a tiger when I get the feeling a woman or child is getting the wrong end of the deal. I have been through a lot in my life too and some things, especially Dad's ignoring their legal obligations just want to make me scream. I have a 30 year old daughter that never got what she needed either financially or emotionally from her Dad and we stayed married until she was 20. But I suppose I have to take some responsibility for choosing the SOB and trying to make it work :+
I'm sure you're doing the best for your DD