HELP! We adopted a kitten who doesn't like us

And because he had so many little health issues, we were constantly messing with him to give him eye drops, liquid medicine, pills, etc. He has 3 more days of antibiotics, and after that, we'll give him until the beginning of June and see how he is.
That could be a big part of the problem. When Pete was little, the vet thought he might have ringworm (I thought it might be a food allergy, and I ended up being right), so I had to bathe him 3 times a week, then 2, then 1 for 4 weeks (until we got the culture result back) and give him medication. I think he resented me for a long time for that, and it contributed to his being 'bratty' at times (though I felt a bit guilty yesterday after writing about how much of a PITA he can be at times, and he decided that day to be snugglier than he's been for a long time).

As long as you are giving medication, kitty might associate your contact with that more than with something pleasureable.
 
I think that all the medications you have been giving him goes a long way to explaining the problem plus he hardly knows you! My 10 year old siamese Tufi is on medication for a seizure disorder--this is a recent problem--and now when I reach for him he runs. Well not exactly just stays out of reach. This guy was super affectionate but he knows in the morning what is going to happen and he leaves. After fit is over fhe goes back to his old self. But he has been with us for 10 years. Why don't you speack to the woman you got him from? I et she has some insights as she fosters. Hope it all works out with your little guy.
 
That could be a big part of the problem. When Pete was little, the vet thought he might have ringworm (I thought it might be a food allergy, and I ended up being right), so I had to bathe him 3 times a week, then 2, then 1 for 4 weeks (until we got the culture result back) and give him medication. I think he resented me for a long time for that, and it contributed to his being 'bratty' at times (though I felt a bit guilty yesterday after writing about how much of a PITA he can be at times, and he decided that day to be snugglier than he's been for a long time).

As long as you are giving medication, kitty might associate your contact with that more than with something pleasureable.

ITA. He might now associate you with unpleasant things.

You might try enticing him to you with "high value" treats like canned fish (mackerel/tuna), canned kitten food, or something like that, so he starts to associate you with really good things. :)
 
You also need to remember that there is another cat involved here. Your other cat has bonded with this kitten and if you now take the kitten away it may get upset.

I adopted 3 kittens in August. Two males and one female all from the same litter. The female loves to be held and petted. The males could not care less. They all sleep together and clean each other. They are their own little family and DH and I just provide them with food and shelter. They spend all of their awake time running all through the house and playing with each other.

From my previous experience with cats, as kittens get older they will settle down and become more affectionate. As kittens, usually they are not laps cats. They have too much energy to just lay around.

This kitten just needs to be loved and shown that it is wanted.
 
ITA. He might now associate you with unpleasant things.

You might try enticing him to you with "high value" treats like canned fish (mackerel/tuna), canned kitten food, or something like that, so he starts to associate you with really good things. :)

I have been trying this a little and it may be working. We have now stopped with the eye drops, which makes a huge difference. He doesn't mind the pills because we wrap them in Pill Pockets (best invention ever!) so he thinks they are treats. But for the last few days, I have tried picking him up and rubbing him, and then giving him a treat while he is in my arms. I think he is now letting me hold him for longer and longer.

And I totally agree about not disrupting the bond with the other cat. It's a major concern, since our other cat is 15, and we don't want to do anything to stress him out.

So for now, I am going to try a combination of giving him high value treats when I pet him, ignoring him when he seems to want that, and trying really hard not to let my self-esteem get wrapped up in whether this 6-month-old furball loves me.
 
A stray gave birth to a litter of a single kitty at my home when I was a child (perhaps 10 or 11 years old).

This little kitty was of no specific color. Or rather she was every color. Most people who came to visit would recoil at how ugly she was.

My sis and I were completely besotted by her though. We thought she had more personality than any little kitty we had ever known. She was so playful. She had so much spunk. She would only let herself be petted when it suited her and would spit at us when she wasnt in the mood although she was just a teeny little furball. She would spit with so much confidence, it was so endearing. She actually seemed to believe that would scare us away. We called her Spitty.

One night my dad decided he did not want the responsibility of another kitty. (My sis and I were constantly adopting strays). So he left her out one night with the mama stray hoping they would go away.

The next morning I dicovered Spitty crying pityfully outside our door. She had probably cried all night asking to be let in. Mama cat was nowhere around. I brought her in and cried until my dad agreed she could be ours.

But Spitty never let anyone pet her after that. She would play sometimes if she was in the mood. But at other times she would just keep to herself. I think she never forgave us for that night she spent outside. She would spit if we tried to pet her.

Mama cat never came back for Spitty. By some strange coincidence I think the night she was put out was the night mama decided Spitty was ready to be weaned.

Spitty hated most people except us (she tolerated us). Especially toms. When she was in heat, if male strays came by, she would spit at them and claw them. (Back in those days, India was a very different country. There was no awareness about spaying. So we did not even know we were being negligent.)

When mama cat got pregnant again she gave birth again at our home to three really sweet kittens. My dad let us keep one and we found homes for two others. The kitty we kept was called Kala-bungay. Kala s hindi for black or dark. Kala-bungay was jet black. The Bungay was a reference to Tono-bungay by my dad who named him.

Spitty loved Kala-bungay. Or rather he loved her and broke down her defences. He would sneak up to her and cuddle up. She would swish her tail angrily at first but she wouldnt spit. She would pretend he wasnt there. He would pounce on her swishing tail. She hated that and would swat him away. But with time she melted. Watching them bond was so delightful and rewarding. My sis and I would spend so much time just watching them.

As she grew to love Kala-bungay she would let my sis or me pet her a bit. But only for brief moments.

Kala-bungay was a perfect lovebug. He always wanted attention and petting.

Surprisingly, Spitty turned pregnant. I insisted she had been raped, because I had seen her repel advances of toms. I sobbed when I realized she was pregnant (from her growing belly). My parents were so amused by my insistence she had been raped.

One morning, Spitty woke me up mewing. She cuddled up to me. I was astounded. I couldnt believe it! She behaved more affectionately than any cat I had ever known. I couldnt rein in my delight. I called out to my mum. My mum realized what was happening. Spitty was birthing! My mum brought a box, lined it with soft cloth and tried putting Spitty in the box. She would cry piteously and jump out onto my lap. I insisted my mum couldnt put her back in the box. My mum relented, grumbling about hygiene and my lack of concern for it. Three little kitties were delivered in my lap.

From that day Spitty was most affectionate. Unfortunately, she fell into a well soon after and died. The neighbours told me she had fallen into their well when they saw me searching for her. They said they had tried to save her.

If Spitty had never turned affectionate, I still think I wouldnt have regretted adopting her. The few days of her affection were so special they are a bonus. I still think back with so much love and gratitude to them.

Sorry. That was a really long story.
 
Sorry. That was a really long story.

It may have been long but it was so very sweet!

I adopted a male kitten while in Germany. I wanted a "lap cat" since those are the type I have. Well, several moves and an entire country later, Boots will be 14 in August. He has NEVER been affectionate to the point of being a "lap cat" and will tolerate being pet for about a minute before he turns and snaps. I love Boots just the same as if he was an affectionate thing.

Carrie
 

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