Help on toilet training!!! Pllllllllease!!!

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Worknprogress

Cathlete
My 4 1/2 year old son has been "potty" trained for over 1 1/2 years. However, he won't go "#2" on the toilet. I have talked to his pediatrician many times and we have tried rewards, books, even bought a little 1/2 hour movie about it but nothing has worked.

Just talked to the doc again and he said to reward him for just sitting on the toilet and go from there. That was weeks ago - DS still not buying into it.

He tells me he is afraid and we have talked about it. Weirdly though, he has done it 3 times over the year and a half but quickly goes back to wanting a diaper.

Doc also has said to never put too much pressure on him or punish him because he could very well start holding it in and causing himself bowel problems.

I don't mean to put such a strange subject in this forum but I have tried everything. Has anybody out there had this situation and if so, what did you do? I am getting desperate!!!!
 
Toilet training is such a tough thing, isn't it? It makes you nuts really.

My only suggestion is to find the ultimate bribe. Obviously it can't (and shouldn't) be anything expensive, but something he'll be super happy to receive...like a favorite cookie.

I know, I know...I was told by our Peds doc NOT to bribe. But nothing else worked. The minute I said to the kid, "Okay, what will it take?" the problem was solved. My first daughter required Hershey Kisses. My second one wanted potato chips.

There has to be something.
 
I run a family dayare out of my home & I recently encountered this same problem. I can't remember howlong it took us to get htis little boy on the toilet!! :confused: I so understand your frustration. He turned 4 last May & it was about thattime that he started using the potty to poop. We also tried EVERYTHING under the sun. He just waited to do it in his own sweet time. Very strong willed boy he is. I know at one point his mother would have him clean out his poopy underwear, obviously I didn't do that - YUCK!! And really how well can a 4 yr old do that. I think she was trying to have him be accountable for his mess - make sense?
I wishh I had something more to tell you. Try not to let your frustration show to him. Easier said than done I know. Good luck.
 
I'm not a lot of help. My DD just turned 3. She would NOT poop on the potty either. She would hold it & cry & walk around on her tip-toes & say her belly hurt. So, I put her on the potty (big toilet w/kiddie ring) & took away her foot stool, turned on an episode of Diego on the ipod & left her there crying. Once the crying stopped, she had gone.

Now, to be honest (w/a little touch of TMI) every time she goes, I am amazed at just how much there is inside that petite little body. So, now I think she thinks it's a game to see how much "stinks" come out! LOL - again - whatever works!
 
This same boy I referred to in my previous post has started pre-school this year. The past 2 weeks he has gone back to his not pooping phase. He's not goingin his britches, just not going!!! As of today his last BM was Sunday. OUCH!!! :confused: For him I feel it is a control issue. Either way, here we go again.
 
Could it be the "setting?" My youngest (now 10!) used to like to crawl under the dining room table to poo in her diaper. So that's where I put the potty. Sounds weird, I know, but when she wouldn't go on the potty in the bathroom, I figured WTH, I'll try putting it under the table, and she did eventually use it.
 
delfinn said:
Could it be the "setting?" My youngest (now 10!) used to like to crawl under the dining room table to poo in her diaper. So that's where I put the potty. Sounds weird, I know, but when she wouldn't go on the potty in the bathroom, I figured WTH, I'll try putting it under the table, and she did eventually use it.
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That is a great idea! Also, does your son spend any time with other boys his age? My nephew had a hard time training until he was around other boys, and when he saw that they did it then he did it too.

Good luck!

Missy
 
I had the same issues with my son. There is something scary about poo ;) It took Aiden 3-4 months longer to get that part. I think you just have to keep encouraging & keep reminding him that he is a big boy now. Use the angle of kindergarten/peer pressure if you need to. I fully believe it when people tell me your kid will not go to college in diapers!!! :p
 
This might not be any help to you but....he will go when he is ready. How many men do you know that wear diapers? He'll go before he gets married. He will.
 
I know the potty stage is a little bit of a hassle or inconvenience, but he will dictate the outcome. When he is ready he will use the potty. Be patient it is a confusing time for these little guys. He'll get it soon. Keep doing what your doing. Being kind and gentle .

Janie
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My son is 19 years old now, but I went thru this with him when he was a little boy. He held it so long that he did get constipated. We went to the doctor, and he gave me suppositories. It only took one time using those, and he never wanted that again. After that, we just made a rule that when he needed to poop, every 1-2 hours he sat on the potty with a cup of juice (or whatever) and he had to sit until the juice was gone or he pooped. It didn't take long for him to get the hang of it. The only problem then was that he had to have a drink to poop no matter what--even on the airplane. Try explaining this to a flight attendant! Good luck!

--Sharon
 
oh boy. with my oldest this was really hard. He'd go pee in the potty but not poo. Then I tried bribes. I tried putting a potty seat in front of the tv. (He wouldn't go at all in that).Then I tried not having a diaper on him at all during the day. I think he'd hold it all day till he got a diaper on then go. sigh! I think that finally worked though and I got him to go. We used on of the seats that go on top of the little seats and can attach to the big potty. He felt safer on that. just hang in there! I'm sure it'll happen soon.
 
Thanks for the input - makes me feel I am not alone. Great suggestions and I will see where we go from here.

Lynne - great idea of tv program - did you use a portable DVD player? DW is 4 ft tall already so a kiddie potty is way too small.

Lori - I am going to work on that ultimate bribe thing!

Tami - It's one thing to change your own child's diaper but someone else's at this age - God love ya'!! (Let me know how he makes out)

Debbie - I was hoping to have this resolved by kindergarten - college - YIKES!!

Missy - He starte pre-K a month ago but it's only 3 hours and so far he is managing those hours without having to go!

Aveggiegirl - I'm thinking maybe my husband could benefit from diapers - less underwear to wash!!:eek:

Janie Joey - I just love your photos/video things - where do you get those?
 
Debbie,

It's called a meez. You can create one at meez.com

It's a lot of fun, you should try it. It's free to join, and most of the animations, clothes, and destinations are free. If you want to buy something, then you can buy them with coins. You can play games and win them, also newsletter comes in your e-mail and you get 500 coinz free every time, at least once a month.

Janie
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I can compeltely relate!! My son is 4 and won't pee in the potty. He hold his pee ofr 18-20 hours! Yes, HOURS! My ped said not to let him go longer than 18 hours, so I put a diaper on him, he pees, then off it goes again for another 18 hours. However, that is wearing on me and I don't want to hurt him and his little bladder. I can't even hold my pee that long! So, I am just trusting in the fact that i've not seen a grown adult in diapers. However, i've not seen a 5 year old in diaper either...

Jessica
 
My DS was also very difficult to potty train, both peeing and pooping. His preschool was very tolerant for about 5 months, then they told me he couldn't come back until he was trained. Mind you, they didn't even have to take him at all given that he wasn't potty trained, but they were kind and let him come. Once they said that, he was trained for both within a week. He was 3-1/2 at the time.

What I said to him as I got rid of all his pull ups and changing table while he watched was that his teachers told me he couldn't wear pull ups anymore. It wasn't my choice, it was theirs. That was it. Well, he got the peeing part down within a day and the pooping by the end of the week. It was a total control issue he was was having with me! Once I left the equation, he had no interest in continuing the battle. I never told him to go, encouraged him or made a big deal when he did it. No bribes or any other inducements. Just made it a fact and left it alone.
 
Hello, well I guess if thre is a positive side to any of this it is that I have finally been forced to register on the forum after "lurking" for several months as this is a subject quite close to home.
There is some great advice and suggestions and if it works be so thankful but I will share from experience it doesnt always work and the frustration and worry only gets worse - I know as my son is now 7 and we are still have huge potty issues. #1 is fine but #2 is a huge issue. We have had every medical test from MRi to Upper Gi to bloodwork, stool samples, and more to rule out any medical causes as we startd out right on track with poty training at age 3 and then all of a sudden total regression. We have been to three child psychologists in the past three years. This last one has been working with us for over a year and he is totally stumped! We have done everything he has told us and he doesnt understand why it is not successful. He has consulted colleagues with more expertise in this particlar issue and even they are shocked at what seems to be the extreme control my son seems to have over his body. I have a lot I can share and if you would like to pm me I would be more than happy to share but either way our pediatrician also laughed it off said "dont worry" and now here we are four years later still struggling and still worrying, and extremely sleep deprived as a family in trying to resolve it. Hang in there and feel free to contact me and I will share what has or has not worked for us so far! As I am typing away I hear the bed alarm going so off I go! Please now you aren't totally alone in your concern!

No longer a lurker :)
Debbie (I think it was meant for me to see this thread - it has been therapeutic for me )
 
What seemed to work for me (but you can only do this at home, LOL), is to let my son run around the house naked from the waist down. This way he has nothing to go to the bathroom in. My son actually pooped on the floor a couple of times-gross, I know-but after that he was cured! Give it a shot! :)
 
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