frustation over clueless family members!

workingToBeFit

workingToBeFit

Cathlete
I am so glad I have this forum - and my new road trip friends - as my family members understand NOTHING about what my goals are or fitness in general. My husband, does understand, bless him, and has just joined the workout manager! But my two brothers are like toxic clouds whenever I try to discuss it with either one. My one brother, who is an M.D., just asked me to tell him about the road trip last week. So, I told him about the road trip events and sent him some of my treasured photos. He emailed me back with "Is Cathy on steroids - she must be" name spelled wrong, of course - anyway it is all I can do to prevent myself from getting really mad and "yelling at him" over email. Again thank goodness I have all of you folks to share my fitness thoughts and enthusiasm for Cathe's workouts with!!! Please forgive my expression of frustration, but I felt the need to "vent" someplace. What has anyone else experienced with this kind of situation?
 
Last edited:
I don't really discuss it with any family or friends unless they bring it up. And even then, I just share what relates to the conversation at hand. Example: Last night, a family member asked me why I get up in the morning so early. I told her it was to get my workout out of the way. She laughed and said, "I hate you." :D The end.

I never get into huge conversations about diet or fitness. I don't expect anyone else to be super interested. And you're right, that's why this forum is so cool. :)
 
I think the majority of us here have similar problems which is what most likely originally drew us to these forums in the first place!

My husband supports me, bless his heart, but is not into fitness/nutrtion himself.

My mom and BMF think I'm too skinny (they are crazy!) and my mom is very skeptical about my running as she is afraid I will wind up dead of a heart attack or something.

I go to my mom's for dinner once a week and it's always something cooked in gobs of oil or butter or something breaded and fried...Yes I still LOVE that food but avoid it most of the time. When I go there I have to be very careful with my portions. Unfortunately my mom also eats dinner late (7pm) so I am starving by the time we eat which doesn't help! I need to start bringing a healthy snack with me to tide me over!

In my DH's family I have a personal trainer SIL which is nice but she is naturally thin and doesn't have to work very hard at all to keep her figure looking nice so she's not much support. LOL My other SIL never worked out a day in her life until the last couple of years when she started gaining weight. She had always been naturally thin as well up until then. Now she is an on again off again exerciser with no real interst in the nutrtion end of it.

My MIL is a tiny thing who cooks the most fattening meals on the planet and we go there for dinner about once a week as well! YIKES! And my FIL..well, he's just your average guy who doesn't pay much attention to what he eats and doesn't exercise except for going out a once or twice a week to dance whilst drinking seven and sevens! LOL

So you see, who else do I have to talk to about this stuff? I am sooo thankful I found this forum. I have made many great friends here who share my passion for fitness/nutrtion. I feel like my day is incomplete if I can't get on here to atleast post my work outs for the day. :)
 
I pretty much take the approach that LW takes. I don't discuss it unless it comes up. And even then I try to keep it brief. Only you all understand and thank goodness for this forum!!!
 
I have one friend in particular who has asked me for advice on work outs and eating right COUNTLESS times but has done very little with the information I gave him. It's so frustrating to spend the time to answer his questions and then watch him do nothing with the information! What a waste of time!
 
Fit_mommy said:
I have one friend in particular who has asked me for advice on work outs and eating right COUNTLESS times but has done very little with the information I gave him. It's so frustrating to spend the time to answer his questions and then watch him do nothing with the information! What a waste of time!
Click to expand...

I've had that happen to Wendy. Sometime when I watch her eat I want to say and that's why you can not lose wt!!
 
I don't share either. My hubby is supportive and sort of keeps track...but my parents think I'm crazy. They even though my horse was a bad idea...they get so mad at me cause I wont go anywhere cause I have horses to take care of.

I go away once or twice a year...that's more than enough for me...sometime a day trip here or there...but I honestly think it's important to have things in your life you enjoy and to me fitness and horses are the things I most enjoy...unfortunatly...family is becoming least enjoyable and I have to admit...I use my horses to steer clear of them.
 
thank you all for sharing thoughts

Thank you for the replies. I am thinking based on what many have said, that my trying to talk about it with family - is most likely never going to be satisfying in any way. I will need to learn to stop causing my own frustration! I can also relate to the horses - fitness and my dogs - pembroke welsh corgis - are my two main loves (MDH gets plenty too!). My best morning is a nice dog walk and then a Cathe workout after that. And re family and food, oh man, I know what you mean by how hard that can be.
 
I rarely discuss it with anyone either. Even when people ask, they don't seem to really want to do what it takes to be in shape and don't understand that its a lifestyle change, not just a 2 week deprivation diet. My DH is supportive and he does do bicycle rides for exercise, but he hasn't incorporated it into his life the way I have.

I think most people KNOW they aren't eating right and exercising, they just don't want to do anything different that might be HARD. :)
 
Same here. Most people have their own idea of what fitness is, right or wrong, and you are probably not going to fit into that idea. It's good that there are forums b/c they give the opportunity to chat with people that are closer to your idea of what the right program is and what works for you.

My ex-bf used to say "if you do these tapes everyday, why don't you look like her?" Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My family thinks I "overdo it."

Thank goodness my bf, who is supportive of everything that I do, gave me a nice big area in the basement to do my workouts when I moved in, keeps his distance when I work out (except for making me laugh once in a while :) ) and only says positive things related to my workouts. He may not "get it," but he would never think to bash me for my dedication to Cathe and my workouts either!
 
Speaking of nice big work out spaces! We are looking to move in another year or so. I told my DH that we are putting a bid in on any house unless it has ample work out space! That means MORE then I have right now!

He knows I meant it too!:D
 
I don't offer unless specifically asked. I also try not to get too deeply into a conversation unless it's with a person I know is truly interested and trying to gather information. Too many of these type conversations with family who have differing opinions on fitness are just fuel for senseless arguments. If I quietly decline a piece of cake at a party or take small portions at a family dinner, it often goes unnoticed. If, however, I were to make a big deal and comment on how that's way too much for me or how I couldn't dream of eating that cake, it might be received differently. I try to be non-confrontational about it, and I find that most of my family will do the same. That's just my personal experience.

lynda
 
Ann,

One of the many benefits of not having a huge family is I don't have to discuss my fitness routine with anyone but my wife. Fitness, and specifically, Fitness through Cathe, has made me a better person, and therefore a better husband...I'm not too sure it was always that way in our early years together.

Needless to say, she supports my Cathe habit 1,000 %.

These forums are perfect for venting, and I am sure that if I were in your shoes, I'd be doing the same!!
 
I agree with the non confrontational approach...

I choose carefully (and quietly) at gatherings, but it kills me when people say "oh you could eat that cake, you're so thin" as if I am thin without effort! I just smile and say "I don't eat cake every time and that's WHY I'm thin!"
 
I come from a big family of 12 kids (7 sisters and 4 brothers). My brothers have exercised and been active in sports on and off over the years. One brother did a bicycle trip around the country when he young in his 20s so can probably relate to me the most.

My sisters, on the other hand, can't stand to sweat. Rather than enjoy summer activities like walking and bicycle riding, will rush from air conditioned house to air conditioned car as fast as they can (hey, I guess that's exercising ;-)) lest a drop of sweat fall upon their brow. (not kidding) I also have a SIL who was so thrilled a few years ago when she lost weight on WW without having to EXERCISE! She quickly gained back the weight.

One of my sisters did show a genuine interest and I gave her some of my older, beginner workouts. She did them for awhile but doesn't have time any longer (or so she says).

Just like Jerry, I'm fortunate to have a spouse who supports my exercise hobby. He works out as well although not lately since he broke both elbows last weekend on a family bicycle ride. :-( Yeah, I know - Ouch! He listens to me talk about everything from the new nutrition software to STS and complain about knees that hurt when I do too much high impact.

Sue
 
Fit_mommy said:
Speaking of nice big work out spaces! We are looking to move in another year or so. I told my DH that we are putting a bid in on any house unless it has ample work out space! That means MORE then I have right now!

He knows I meant it too!:D
Click to expand...

That's how it will be for me when we decide to move. We'll need some serious help moving our fitness equipment:eek:
Ok, this may sound bad but....My oldest is 25 and has 2 more years of school. I'm already thinking about how I'll turn his bedroom into a cardio only room, then I can have a seperate weight room!!!
 
Fit_mommy said:
Speaking of nice big work out spaces! We are looking to move in another year or so. I told my DH that we are putting a bid in on any house unless it has ample work out space! That means MORE then I have right now!

He knows I meant it too!:D
Click to expand...

Ahh, I know what you mean fitmommy, When we moved we were excited to have an extra room for my workout stuff. It doubles as a guest room, but my bedroom is big enough that I could workout in there if need be.

Love having a workout room.
 
My family is very supportive of my fitness hobby. However my friends are another story. I am in my 20s and it seems like a lot of my friends are still in that phase were most of them can still eat and drink what they want and still be skinny so they do not care. Although it is starting to catch up with some of them because of all the beer. I just ignore their comments for the most part and do my own thing.
 
Last edited:
I'm still in shock your brother thought Cathe was on steroid!:eek: Has he ever seen a what a woman looks like on steroids? Like a man! Does Cathe look like a muscular man? :eek: Sorry, just stickin' up for our gal.;)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top