Flying phobia

hopefull

hopefull

Cathlete
I have to fly home for my brother's wedding in June. I am freaked. I'm normally a pretty sane person, until it comes to flying. This started before 9-11 by the way. I had a panic attack several years ago on a plane. First one I'd ever had, and the only place I've ever had one. I'd flown home to Washington to interview and had been offered a job. I'd also been offered a job in another state and now had a huge decision to make. I had traveled with both kids in tow. Juggled them, family issues, and job searching for two weeks while we were in Washington. I really think that the stress of flying was just the straw that broke the camels back. I'd flown to Africa, Europe, all over the world and never had anything like that happen. The deal is that this event seems to have set up a pattern, and every time I get on a plane now I have a panic attack. It is awful, yes, I take drugs, takes the edge off, but I know I have to face this and am dreading it. It's a mental game I just don't seem to be able to win. I would love some advice. I know it's in my mind, and there has to be someway to talk myself out of this pattern.
 
Ok, so I don't like to fly, either. So no suggestions on the phobia thing, but I understand. It is close enough you can make a long drive out of it? Split over a few days - a wedding/road trip/vacation??

Nan
 
I completely understand and really can offer no help because I suffer from the same thing. Previously flying had been a big part of my life and I enjoyed it flying all over the world sometimes a few times in a year. Now I can't bear to get on a plane. Last time I flew I took an anti=anxiety drug and that really helped but it doesn't help at all with the anticipation of the trip. Hope someone has something constructive to offer as I could use some advice too.
 
Why don't you take a couple of extra days off from work and take the train? Or what Nan suggested...make a road trip out of it? Flying will get you there quicker, but if you can drive or take the train, it will reduce your stress.
 
Hello Hopeful.

Last year, for the first time I flew in 13 years, and now again I fly to NY at the end of this week. You can overcome fear through support and prayer. It happened to me last year, I had a great flight into Rochester MN but on the way back, high wind and storms, and I did it. Then, NY one year ago, I flew into Albany into a storm then left two days later with the same weather. I didn't go to Mayo in the beginning to visit my parents due to fear of flight but went in the end.

Think positive that you can overcome fear. Your life will change in a good way for overcoming this obstacle. To calm my nerves, I did have a beer roundtrip but now drink ginger ale although it's not Vernors.

You can do it and so can I!!
 
ITA with what JT said, every word. I'm now having to confront a long-standing phobia about driving (yes, you read that right), and after 25 years of no driving of any kind, I finally kicked over the traces, actually studied the driver's manual, passed the knowledge test, and have driven three times out in public. Once in an abandoned parking lot, then on lightly traveled service roads near my home, and today on an honest-to-Pete interstate. My stomach still knots up right before getting into the driver's seat and firing the bugger up, but the knots unkink as I get moving.

You can do it, Hopeful. As JT said, you can overcome fear through support, prayer and just doing it. There are many in-person and online communities dedicated to helping those with fear-of-flying syndromes, and I'm sure they can help you too.

Good luck!

A-Jock
 
I remember my panic attack on a plane, in July 2001, like it was yesterday. My two best friends and I flew to Las Vegas from Cleveland for a 4 day vacation. I thought I was going to die; my heart felt like it was coming out of my chest, I couldn't catch my breath and my legs were shaking. I had never experienced anything like that before in my life. It absolutely ruined my vacation -- all I could think about was having to get back on the flippin' plane.

I already had 1 other trip planned in the next month, so I went to my doctor. She prescribed Ativan for me. What a life-saver. I would take the medicine about 1 hour before take-off and it calmed the physical effects - no rapid heart beat, no legs shaking and I felt relaxed.

I continued to take the medicine every time I got on a plane for the next two or three years. I am now happy to say that I don't have to take it anymore. I've taken 2 plane trips already this year and have 2 more planned.

Here's how I get through it now:
I don't sit by a window. I'm afraid of heights and to look out the window while taking off would just drive me nuts. I always try to sit in the aisle seat.
I don't get to the airport two hours early -- the anticipation of getting on the plane is minimized when there's not a lot of time to think about it at the airport.
I always remember that when we get to cruising altitude, the plane is a safe place to be. Even if we lost both engines, we would be able to glide back down to earth (at least that's what my last psychologist told me).
During flight, I try to read a new magazine and keep my mind off the flight.
Finally, I always watch the landing, which is very strange to say. At least I know that we'll be on the ground in a few short minutes.

You need to find a way to relax in the next days/weeks prior to your flight. I know it's tough when there's so much to do, but give yourself some downtime. Even if it's watching your favorite tv show, take a bubble bath, or spending $50 on a massage -- do not feel guilty about pampering yourself. If we can't take care of ourselves, how can we take care of others?

In the end, if you need to take medicine, then by all means, take medicine to get on that flight. Do not let the physical symptoms of a panic attack prevent you from missing your brother's wedding. Don't ever feel ashamed of needing help when it comes to stuff like this. You'll do great and I wish you luck!!

Christine
 
Oh boy - I am scared to death of planes too. But, I remember when I used to love flying and even wanted to get my pilot's license. A lot of it, for me, is control. I have no control when I am in that plane and that freaks me out. When I feel myself losing it (I'm claustrophobic too and that does not help), I tell myself that I am not being sensible, that I am on my way somewhere and this is the most efficient and actually safest way to go, that my husband travels weekly for work and never has had a problem, people make their living traveling on planes - pilots, attendants, and even security people. They do it all the time and nothing bad happens. Certainly little ol' me can do it too, I tell myself. Sometimes I will have a drink too, but always make sure to have plenty of water with me (but not so much that I will have to use the onboard potty - talk about an enclosed space!). As some people mentioned, I also read, and have found that if sitting next to someone friendly, striking up a conversation helps immensely. Good luck - know that you are not alone, and this thread already proves, and that YOU CAN DO IT! You are a strong person who happens to have a very normal and real fear of flying, but you can overcome it. If the worst happens, and you do have a panic attack, recognize it for what it is. That helps so much. Your mind is a very powerful tool - just as it is strong enough to make you feel this way, it is also strong enough to be grabbed ahold of by you and brought back around to a more even keel.
 
Oh - you can borrow my safe flight guarantee if you wish - when I board, I touch the outside of the plane. I mean, I really touch it, feel it, and say a quick prayer. No one but my daughter knows I do this, no one behind would ever think anything other than I am just sort of leaning on the plane waiting for the line to move. It is my thing - I'll share it with you though :)
 
I'm no expert on fear of flying, but having helped family members get through other anxiety issues, I would recommend beginning now to work on things like deep breathing exercises as well as guided imagery exercises to prepare for your flight. (Medication can be helpful too.)

The general idea is that starting now you work on deep belly breathing, in through your nose, out through your mouth, so that you feel like you are filling your belly with air. Deep breathing goes a long way towards warding off panic attacks. Before bedtime is a good time to practice. You visualize yourself at the beach, or some other "happy place". Or it can be helpful to visualize making or doing something, like decorating your dream house, if it helps distract you from your thoughts. Practice daily relaxation in low pressure situations until you are good at it. Then when you find yourself in the stressful situation (on the plane), close your eyes, start your belly breathing, and do your relaxation exercises. Remind yourself that you CANNOT die from a panic attack. The only thing the panic attack can do is make you feel lousy and you have the power to beat it. For many people it is the fear of the panic attack that is worse than the fear of the situation itself.

I recommend the book The Anxiety Cure by Robert L. DuPont, Elizabeth DuPont Spencer, and Caroline M. DuPont. I haven't read this version, but I have read The Anxiety Cure for Kids, and it is great. They help you put your fear into perspective and give strategies for dealing with it. They also offer breathing exercises and guided imagery strategies. In the kids' book they have actual scripts you can use, and I am assuming the adult version has this too (although I'm not positive.) You can even record yourself (or someone else) reading them and put them on your mp3 player for the trip. There are lots of other people out there selling guided imagery tapes, etc. You might want to check into that also.

Part of what makes you feel out of control is that you feel helpless. If you start taking steps now to not let the fear win, and you go into the situation with a plan, it will go a long way towards helping you when you are in the situation itself.

Sorry this was so long...it is terrible to suffer from anxiety. I know this answer was a bit simplistic; like I said, I'm no expert. Maybe you could consult with a therapist for more strategies. I hope a couple of these ideas will help you!
 
I always get a bit nervous on a plane also. Esp near the beginning of the flight. I can't think of the exact stastics now but you are FAR FAR more likely to die in a car accident than by airplane crash. It is much safer by far!
I remind myself of that. Just cause every airplane crash ends up all over the news does not mean it is common. It would be practically constant if the news reported every major car accident. You actually are taking your life in your hands more so by driving to the grocery store.

Also many people fly constantly and never had anything slightly scarey happen. My dad is one who flies back and forth to Europe on business constantly.

I actually freak out some in elevators also esp if they go very high. I know its silly but it creeps me out. lol. I just visited my parents and we stayed on the 37th floor. The 37TH??! ack. By the time the week was over though I was getting over it. That elevator was like lighting too. I can't believe how fast it went. 2-3 floors at a time it seemed.
Good luck on your flight.
 
I also grew up flying all over the world but suddenly had a panic attack very close to a flight I was going to take (not actually on the plane but a few days before). Since then I had a huge phobia of planes. My issue was claustrophobia. I found a fear of flying class. It was held for two weekends and we learned everything about flying. We even got to go up in the Sea-Tac airport tower for the first time after 9-11 to see how air traffic controllers work. Let me just say they are NOT way stressed out like the movies portray. I was surprised to learn how very organized flying actually is. Anyway, my suggestion, in addition to those listed by others, is to see if there is a fear of flying class held anywhere near you before your trip. Also, we have a museum of flight close by that has an actual Boeing 737 open for exploration. Sometimes before a trip I go there and just sit inside the plane and imagine I'm on the real flight. See if either of these options are available to you. If you send me your email, I can try to send you a copy of a relaxation tape I have specifically for flying. It takes you from the beginning to the end of a flight in your head. I usually listen to this every night for about a week before my flight. Good luck. Let us know how it goes.
Aimee
 
I hate flying too and I take a med to calm me down and try a bit of deep breathing. I also bring along relaxing music on my mp3 player and "fun" magazines (I don't bring anything world news related--not relaxing for the obvious reasons). I also try to remember the multitude of car accidents out there, especially by drunk drivers (the terrorists of the roadways) and do my best to keep it in perspective.
 
Thanks for the safe flight guarantee. It's 12:22 and I am up because when I went to bed I started thinking about this flight and couldn't sleep. I'm not really afraid of the flying. I am afraid of the panic attack! The first time I had one, I don't remember feeling or thinking about being afraid to fly. I just had it. I've had one every time I've flown since. Now I'm afraid to fly because of the panic attacks. Does that make any kind of senses? I might try drugs too this time.
 
I'm actually flying into Sea-Tac. The same airport where all this started. I am always going home for "family" events when I fly. My family lives on the I-5 corridor scattered between olympia and Bellingham, and there are a lot of us. I wonder if the stress of this doesn't add to the chemisty of my attacks. I love my family dearly, but the stress of family dynamics is an issue all of its own. I really apprecaite all the suggestions I've read here. I couldn't sleep tonight due to thinking about flying next week. It's been nice to read these posts and know that I am far from alone in my struggle. Believe me, if we could make the journey any other way we would, but its just too far and would cost too much to drive. We got a pretty good price on out tickets. I recommend Cheaptickets.com. One catch, they are not refundable! Yep, I was chickening out and tried. Thanks so much for your suggestions and support!
 
I have a phobia too. I never used to, I flew all the time in the service, but as I got older it developed (before 9/11). I am considering driving 9 hours to Kentucky rather than fly 2 hours. My rationale is that by the time I drive to the airport, park, go thru secruty etc, it'll be more like 6 hours if I fly. My husband says he'll support me if I drive, but he'd prefer that I fly. I guess I'll get meds, but yeesh, I just hate this :( I guess I'm not alone.

Anyone here LOVE to fly?? Maybe if we heard why, it'd help....
 
"Anyone here LOVE to fly?? Maybe if we heard why, it'd help...."

I DO, I DO!!! It is the most amazing experience IMO. I get to fly like the birds, but only HIGHER and FASTER - it is so cool! When the engines rev and you prepare for take off my heart starts pumping because there is nothing like that feeling when you take off. It's exhilaration, a rush, because you don't get to experience that type of speed anywhere else.
It is awesome when you have a window seat, you can look down from miles up and the world just looks so peaceful. Even if you are flying over clouds and can't see the ground you see how amazing they really look; from the ground they are gray, dull and depressing but from the air they are like soft, fluffy... well, they are soft fluffy clouds but they look much prettier than when they are dumping rain ;)
DH and I went to Florida a few years ago in the winter. We left IN w/ 25 degree temps and snow, and just a short 3 hours later we were in FL w/ 80d weather and sun - when else would you get to experience that? So cool.
I am not sure how many of you want to know this, but it takes A LOT of things to go wrong for a plane to go down. I mean, a whole heck of a lot. Also, since 9/11 there has been 1 commercial crash - only 1. How many car accidents have any of us seen just this summer?
I love to fly because: it's peaceful, it's fast, it's the safest way to travel, it's cheaper than driving long distances (gas, food, drinks, hotels), it's the only time I don't have to run around and can just sit in one spot to read or enjoy the view outside no matter what the forecast is. I would be a pilot if my darned eyes weren't so bad.

Did that help anyone at all? :D

Missy
 
I don't have anxiety about flying, I just hate to fly. The service, the delays, the airlines, they all S**K!

They lie to you. They cram you into a small space, getting smaller all the time.

The security is a joke. I have a titanium hip, one airport I practically have to have a strip search, another airport I didn't even set off the metal detector. I've worked with some powerful chemicals before and 3 one ounce bottles of the right chemicals could kill a whole plane.

Add the germs of my fellow passengers in that closed environment. I drive whenever it's my option.

jmho
 
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