I know that the intensity of my emotion will eventually subside and my life will continue and probably even get better than it was before, but right now I am in the desperate stage of just trying to get through each day one at a time without breaking down. This is the only forum I visit regularly on the web and wondered if anyone hear had gone through this before and could offer any advice or sources of support on the web, in book form or organizations in NY. Any input is appreciated. Thank you!
divorce support
- Thread starter chloesmom
- Start date
I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you're going through a divorce. I know how devastating that can be. I don't have any wonderful advice for you, although I have been through a divorce myself, but my best friend went through one shortly after I did, and I had someone to talk with constantly. That's what got me through it.
The most important thing for me, other than talking about it, was getting out of the house a lot and not spending too much time alone.
I do hope you someone can be more help than I can. I just didn't want to let your message pass by without saying something. I'll be thinking about you.
Shari
The most important thing for me, other than talking about it, was getting out of the house a lot and not spending too much time alone.
I do hope you someone can be more help than I can. I just didn't want to let your message pass by without saying something. I'll be thinking about you.
Shari
You will make it through. Agree with Shari finding a good friend to get you through it is key.
I've been divorced for 14 years now. For me singlehood works, don't think I could ever do the marriage thing again. I know I'm different than most folks.
From your name it sounds like you have a kid. THe advice I give is TRY if at all possible to be civil for your kid(s). Remember it is toughest on them. Actually my ex and I are now good friends so he was able to be there for the prom, graduation and means alot to the kids.
Working out helps, having a good friend of the opposite sex, having kids to focus on, spending time each day on attitude adjustment (be it prayer, meditation or just quiet time). Try to do at least some nurturing things for yourself.
You will get through this and life will get better
I've been divorced for 14 years now. For me singlehood works, don't think I could ever do the marriage thing again. I know I'm different than most folks.
From your name it sounds like you have a kid. THe advice I give is TRY if at all possible to be civil for your kid(s). Remember it is toughest on them. Actually my ex and I are now good friends so he was able to be there for the prom, graduation and means alot to the kids.
Working out helps, having a good friend of the opposite sex, having kids to focus on, spending time each day on attitude adjustment (be it prayer, meditation or just quiet time). Try to do at least some nurturing things for yourself.
You will get through this and life will get better
My heart goes out to you. I've been divorced for 2 years now and I still have my days. My ex is currently out of the country but due to come back this summer. It's been easy and hard at the same time since I've got 2 kids, one still at home. My story is too lengthy for this board but I'll tell you, when I know he's due in town I'm a nervous wreck because I just can't anticipate what he's going to do or say next. He has a good rapport with the kids but they don't think very highly of him, or at least that's what they say to my face. The one at home is 15 and the other is 19. What helped me MOST,....I sought out and found a divorce group at a local catholic church (I'm not catholic but was welcomed all the same). We met one night a week and phone calls during the week were highly encouraged. It was wonderful to know I wasn't alone. I gained many new friends (my ex and I were just separated at the time) and one lady became my best friend ever. Some of our group joined a bowling league for a brief period. This divorce group was 21 weeks long and I went through it 3 times, again 3 times!!!! There were new people in each group but my girlfriend and I went through the 3 times together. Check out ANY churches in your area to see if they have any kind of support groups.
I'd be glad to chat with you privately also if you want. My personal email is [email protected]. If you decide to contact me put divorce support as your subject. Your email will probably roll to my junkmail box and I'll watch for your subject line. We can exchange phone numbers then if you want.
I know how emotional this can be, taking one day at a time and releasing tension through exercise is very positive no matter how bad this time seems........you WILL make it through.
Barb
I'd be glad to chat with you privately also if you want. My personal email is [email protected]. If you decide to contact me put divorce support as your subject. Your email will probably roll to my junkmail box and I'll watch for your subject line. We can exchange phone numbers then if you want.
I know how emotional this can be, taking one day at a time and releasing tension through exercise is very positive no matter how bad this time seems........you WILL make it through.
Barb
I went thru a divorce also, and it is a terrible thing. I am so sorry this is happeneing to you. I also found a friend, who was single, but had a child. We did things together on the weekends with the kids, each of us would take turns and have each other over one night during the week, and cook, so the other had a night off. Tyr to find a friend to support you. take it one day at a time. It will be over some day, and you will look back, and probablty feel it is for the best. Right now, I know that seems so long away, but it will happen. My heart goes out to you.
Lori
Lori
I don't know personally what you are going through but when my brother-in-law and sister-in-law went through divorce (at the same time) they both really leaned on family and close friends. My brother-in-law was at our house pretty much daily and ate supper with us a lot. We were glad to help. They both went through pretty horrible times. Both concluded they would NEVER be happy again.
This was seven years ago and both are happy and have moved on now. My BIL remarried and my SIL is still happily single and doesn't even date. She is happy just raising her two boys.
Just a note hoping it helps...in my thoughts and prayers.
Sami
This was seven years ago and both are happy and have moved on now. My BIL remarried and my SIL is still happily single and doesn't even date. She is happy just raising her two boys.
Just a note hoping it helps...in my thoughts and prayers.
Sami
WOW, thank you all so much. And Barb I just may take you up on your offer and send you a personal email. I'm feeling a lot better this morning. I had a cathartic conversation with my husband last night and feel like I at least put myself in a better place mentally. Thanks again....
hopefull
Cathlete
I divorced 13 years ago. It was a very necessary thing for me to do to keep my mental health,and to keep my family in tack. ( I know that sounds like an oxymoron.) It was painful, but a relief. We, my children and I, went on with our lives. I was single for 9 years before remarrying. I survived one day at a time. I was so busy. I had a 3 year old and a 15 month old at the time. Divorce can be a good thing, no matter what people say. It is a process. When you are really down,remember there is always tomorrow, and tomorrow will bring better days! I look back now, and sometimes think that the whole mess was the best thing that ever happened to me. I learned so much about myself. I worked really hard to be a good mom, and a whole person. I've come a long way, so will you. Take care. You won't get better tomorrow, but you will get better!!!!
Hopefull I feel exactly the same way as you. Funny mine was 14 years ago and my kids were 3 and 1! Agree with you it can be a good thing and like you said I focused on being a great mom and as you said a whole person. Gosh I guess the only thing we don't have in common is you remarried - my hat is off to you - I could never do the blended family thing. From a single for life person!!
Agree it will keep getting better and better! And we are here for you on the tough days!
Agree it will keep getting better and better! And we are here for you on the tough days!