DD having bad dreams...advice, please!

ms71069

ms71069

Cathlete
My 7 yo DD has chosen to sleep on the floor in my 3 yo DD's bedroom for the past two weeks because she is afraid to sleep in her own bed. She has had problems in the past with being scared, but it lasted a night or two and then she was fine. Now she is petrified to be in her room, and I have tried everything I can think of: She's written her bad dreams down on paper and we've burned it; nightlight; laying in bed with her until I think she's asleep; dream catcher hanging over her bed; and anything else that seems like a good idea at the moment.

When she wrote her dreams down, she wouldn't even say out loud what she was dreaming about, which led to her writing it down, and even then she wouldn't let me read it out loud. The list was ghosts, snakes, monsters under the bed, monsters in her closet and her sister drowning on It's a Small World in Disney World. :eek:

Some advice, please! I keep telling her that she needs to try sleeping in her bed again and she told me that she's sorta getting used to sleeping on the floor!:confused::eek: I've even considered letting my girls share a room for a while (they're 7 and 3) but don't know if that will just add to her fear or make her think that there's something to be fearful of if I'm changing sleeping arrangements because of this.
 
I don't really have any suggestions to offer about getting her to stay in her bed. Is there something else in life going on that may be freaking her out or worrying her? Family fighting? Problems with friends? People moving away? Sick people/pets? At 7 she's old enough to know monsters, etc don't exist and snakes don't live under beds. She is also to old to fall for any "monster-away' sprays or songs or poems or tricks. Maybe just try talking to her and see what's going on in her life. A sit down on the couch and chat may make her uncomfortable. Can you two go on a mother-daughter lunch or shopping trip - see if you can get her to open up?

Nan
 
spyrosmom said:
At 7 she's old enough to know monsters, etc don't exist and snakes don't live under beds. Nan
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Hm... I still think monsters live under my bed and in my closet! ;) At 7 an elaborate banishing spell would have probably done the trick for me. I actually liked the idea of burning the paper with bad dreams on it too. I was a very "scared" little kid and always thought the house was going to burn down or the monster under the bed was going to get me. I couldn't even sleep if the closet door was cracked. And I had a huge pile of protective stuffed animals around me as I slept. Not sure what will work with your dd. I agree with Nan though about trying to talk to her more to see if you can get to where all this fear is coming from. For me it was books and movies and my dad - who told me the monster lived in the closet - thanks Dad! :rolleyes:
 
My DS 7 and DD 4, sleep in the same room right now, not out of fear but more of just liking to be together. But when dd was 3 she started having spider dreams and DS had to sleep in bed with her and put his arm over her (now he has own bed in there) and she isn't any worse for me allowing that to happen.

Also, what always seemed to work with my kids when they have bad dreams is I tell them this is my house and "whatever" their bad dream is about isn't allowed in my house. I won't have it. And that I will always protect them. Apparently, my kids thing I am some kind of Bad A$$ and can fight off anything.;)
 
My kids DD 7 (8 on 7/20) and DS 10 like to sleep together also. They don't share a room but on weekends as a special treat like to sleep in the guest room together. They are a custom to sharing when we travel and stuff too. I think it's fine and my DD has been known to get scared and go sneak in her brothers room and cuddle up to him. She gets scared easily as well but I walk the house with her and assure all the doors and windows are locked and we check the closets etc. I leave her door open for her and even try to get the dog to stay in her room until she falls asleep. Sometimes depending on my mood, I have to just be stern and forcefully tell her to go to sleep and dream about good things, I then have to tell her a couple fun things to think about.. upcoming holidays or parties or school events etc. She's even asked my dh or I to smile and she stares at our face so she can picture it when she sleeps. Sorta freaks me out but if it works!!
 
When I was little, the hallway light outside of my room freaked me out, and I refused to go to sleep while I could see it (I didn't have a bedroom door, don't ask!). My mom would sit on the top step with the bathroom light on a read a book until I fell asleep. Maybe just having someone in the room with her makes her feel better. I wouldn't look too deep into it.

Just out of curiosity, she hasn't been sick or taking any new medication has she? I know that when I take Nyquil, it gives me totally scary dreams :0 Same thing happened to my friend with Ambien. Just a thought.
 
Thanks, everyone, for all the advice! And to answer everyone's inquiries...no fighting, no illnesses, school's out so no friend problems, no meds. She does have an overactive imagination and has always been a bit of a scaredy cat.

A few years ago we went through an episode during Christmas season that she was scared to death of our house burning down because of Christmas lights. Every time we left she'd ask, Are all the Christmas lights off? It really worried the heck out of her! She also had a phase that if we were in the car and the gas light came on, or if you happened to say, Where the heck are we?, she'd go ballistic!

I just told her today that we have to work on getting back to her bed, and she said, Okay, Mom. Tonight when it's bedtime may be a different story! We'll see! The funniest thing is my 3 yo doesn't want her sleeping in her room and keeps telling her to leave!!! :eek: I keep hoping she figure out that her bed is a wee bit more comfortable than being in a sleeping bag on a yoga mat!

This too shall pass, right???
 
Can you rearrange her bedroom? I think that changing up the room might help. Make it a comfortable inviting place to go (not that it's not already, I'm just thinking of a new way for her to see the room).

When I was little my brother told me that if there was a fire in the house, he was going to knock once and then he was off to get my parents, so I better wake up! I had insomnia for 2 weeks and began to dread that bedroom. We rearranged my room and I think that's part of what helped me.

I also had recurring nightmares as a child that I still remember vividly, and I would do the room rearrange thing then too.
 
ms71069 said:
A few years ago we went through an episode during Christmas season that she was scared to death of our house burning down because of Christmas lights. Every time we left she'd ask, Are all the Christmas lights off? It really worried the heck out of her! She also had a phase that if we were in the car and the gas light came on, or if you happened to say, Where the heck are we?, she'd go ballistic!
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Michele - she sounds JUST like me as a little kid. At the age of 5, I had a suitcase under my bed all packed and ready to go in case the house caught on fire. I used to lay in bed staring at the door to see if I could see smoke coming in from the cracks. My parents can thank a "fire safety" lecture we had at school for that.
 
Maybe a special stuffed animal would make her feel more secure. Purchased just for this reason. My 8 year old son is the same way. He worries about EVERYTHING and is afraid of EVERYTHING. In a weird sorta way I like that he can come to me to feel secure. I know when he's 12 he probably have a keep out sign on his door. I keep the hall light on for him with my bedroom door wide open. I tell him if he needs me to just yell and I'll come running. Then we practice it and I come running in the room sorta funny to make him laugh and put his mind at ease.
 
Liann said:
Michele - she sounds JUST like me as a little kid. At the age of 5, I had a suitcase under my bed all packed and ready to go in case the house caught on fire. I used to lay in bed staring at the door to see if I could see smoke coming in from the cracks. My parents can thank a "fire safety" lecture we had at school for that.
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Too funny, Liann! That sounds like something my daughter would think of doing!
 
I didn't read all of the above, so I hope I don't repeat anyone, but I have a ds that is 7 and he rooms with my 4-year-old son, but sometimes, they still have trouble at night with nightmares or being scared of the dark. Here's what I do when the nightmares get really bad: I have a bottle of linen spray that I have labeled "Go Away Monster Spray" (or could be labeled "Go Away Nightmare Spray"), and I mist it in their room before bedtime and tell them that all monsters and bad dreams HATE this spray. It makes little boys have sweet dreams. Then we do a relaxation technique. I tell them to take several deep breaths and then I ask them where they want to go in their dreams... Each night they have a different place. Sometimes it's Disney world, sometimes the beach, or the toy store, etc. I tell them they can go with all of their friends and favorite storybook characters... and they drift to sleep thinking happy thoughts... It really works... both the spray and the relaxation technique.
 
ms71069 said:
She does have an overactive imagination and has always been a bit of a scaredy cat.
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I don't have any advice other than I can sympathize. My DDs are 7 and 4 with totally different personalities. My 7yo is the scared one and nothing phases my 4yo. There are times that my 7yo is afraid to go to her bedroom alone (during the day!!) and has to have her 4yo sister accompany her. They both sleep in their own rooms and do have the occasional nightmare and climb in bed with us for the night, but are back in their own beds the next night. I also had to get rid of a doll in my 7yo's room because it was creeping her out :eek:
 
Oh, Stephanie, what a fantastic idea!!! I am going to try this with her. I have a funny "bad dreams out, good dreams in" song/dance that I do before she goes to bed but the spray will be the icing on the cake! Thanks so much!


Stephanie0523 said:
I didn't read all of the above, so I hope I don't repeat anyone, but I have a ds that is 7 and he rooms with my 4-year-old son, but sometimes, they still have trouble at night with nightmares or being scared of the dark. Here's what I do when the nightmares get really bad: I have a bottle of linen spray that I have labeled "Go Away Monster Spray" (or could be labeled "Go Away Nightmare Spray"), and I mist it in their room before bedtime and tell them that all monsters and bad dreams HATE this spray. It makes little boys have sweet dreams. Then we do a relaxation technique. I tell them to take several deep breaths and then I ask them where they want to go in their dreams... Each night they have a different place. Sometimes it's Disney world, sometimes the beach, or the toy store, etc. I tell them they can go with all of their friends and favorite storybook characters... and they drift to sleep thinking happy thoughts... It really works... both the spray and the relaxation technique.
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My 5yo dd wakes me occasionally saying she's had a bad dream then she'll do it again the next night. I tell her if you sleep in your bed all night you can (insert fun activity here) if not then you don't get to go, you choose. Sometimes it's something as simple as her coming to the store with me or having her favorite dessert. It works every time!
 
Well- happy belated birthday!

40's not so bad, but go out and buy a pair of reading glasses, tomorrow you'll need them. LOL:D:D:D
 
Well, when I was little, I had pretty bad night terrors and sleep walking episodes. Night lights actually made it worse because the little bit of light would make distort shadows into scary shapes. My parents exacerbated this by talking about things being too scary for me, and actually my mother and sister going through weird religious overdrive and talking about demonic possession and warning me against playing with other kids who listened to heavy metal or had oiuja boards just freaked me out even more.

With my daughter, I never discussed things as "scary". Traditionally scary things like monsters, spiders, vampires would be discussed as things that are "silly or funny". I only seriously talked about real dangers (not wearing a seatbelt, not looking both ways before crossing the street, etc) and they were matter of fact, never mystical.
 
Janis said:
Well- happy belated birthday!

40's not so bad, but go out and buy a pair of reading glasses, tomorrow you'll need them. LOL:D:D:D
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Thanks, Janis! 39 wasn't such a great year for me, so I'm actually glad to have it behind me!

I already wear contacts that I'm blind as a bat without...do you mean it gets worse?!?:eek:
 
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