Wow, my heart aches for you. I have been there and it is ugly.
You love your child but that does not mean that you sacrifice everyone else's peace in the household. Siblings and spouse have a right to live in harmony without the chaos. You have given it your all, she has chosen to move out and be sexually active with the loser boyfriend. BTW, wether she stays home or lives with him, she will still engage in sex. However, let her go, LET HER KNOW YOU LOVE HER AND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HER. Maybe even let her know (if you can find it in yourself) that she can move back in but on YOUR TERMS. If not, then let her make her mistakes and learn from them and you must be strong enough to stand by and not intervene, only if she comes to you for help with her heart in her hands and tail between her legs, willing to be a member of your family and on your terms. She is immature with no life experience. Right now you and DH will be the enemy and thats okay. Her limited life experience will only let her see just what is apparent. Her biological father is her friend now and that too is okay. Once she gets her head out of her a$$ and matures she will be able to see much further. She will have perspective and experience and will look back on this time with regret.
Guilt often times takes over parents and we find ourselves giving in, doing things we don't want to, but then it turns into resentment because we feel pressured or bullied into it. Guilt can also make us enablers. If you haven't tried counseling look into it, maybe DD would be willing to go. I got mine to go but it really was important how I presented it to her. Counseling was life changing for me and the family.
Parents are not perfect we make mistakes also, but remember that you have done your best and that your child's current poor choices do not define who you are This terrible time shall pass, sounds like mere words but one day you will be able to reflect much like she will and you will be proud to know that you weathered the storm with love .My apologies for how lengthy this but I fell your sadness and frustration and will keep you in my prayers. My best hopes and wishes for you and your family.
Booboo39
You love your child but that does not mean that you sacrifice everyone else's peace in the household. Siblings and spouse have a right to live in harmony without the chaos. You have given it your all, she has chosen to move out and be sexually active with the loser boyfriend. BTW, wether she stays home or lives with him, she will still engage in sex. However, let her go, LET HER KNOW YOU LOVE HER AND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR HER. Maybe even let her know (if you can find it in yourself) that she can move back in but on YOUR TERMS. If not, then let her make her mistakes and learn from them and you must be strong enough to stand by and not intervene, only if she comes to you for help with her heart in her hands and tail between her legs, willing to be a member of your family and on your terms. She is immature with no life experience. Right now you and DH will be the enemy and thats okay. Her limited life experience will only let her see just what is apparent. Her biological father is her friend now and that too is okay. Once she gets her head out of her a$$ and matures she will be able to see much further. She will have perspective and experience and will look back on this time with regret.
Guilt often times takes over parents and we find ourselves giving in, doing things we don't want to, but then it turns into resentment because we feel pressured or bullied into it. Guilt can also make us enablers. If you haven't tried counseling look into it, maybe DD would be willing to go. I got mine to go but it really was important how I presented it to her. Counseling was life changing for me and the family.
Parents are not perfect we make mistakes also, but remember that you have done your best and that your child's current poor choices do not define who you are This terrible time shall pass, sounds like mere words but one day you will be able to reflect much like she will and you will be proud to know that you weathered the storm with love .My apologies for how lengthy this but I fell your sadness and frustration and will keep you in my prayers. My best hopes and wishes for you and your family.
Booboo39