Dating Experiences

[Jasmin416]

So I just started dating someone who is "extremely" good looking by most standards and is a real sweet heart. He really seems to like me a lot and calls everyday. We had our second date last night and unfortunately today's date got cancelled because his mom fell ill. Even though I feel very attracted to him I'm not sure if I feel that certain something which maybe has to do with conversation or something?. Its kind of a phenomenon to me because I feel so attracted to him one way and not sure in other ways. I think I am used to having an instant click or crazy whirlwind that takes me over in previous relationships early on.

So my fun question of the day is :
When you were just dating your partner, was it an instant click or something that just hit you over the head later?

 

[Alana_as]

Oh wow! I could write a novel on how my husband and I got together. But I'll keep it short.

In a nutshell, my husband (boyfriend at the time) had our ups and downs while dating and I was afraid to commit to him (marriage) so I pushed him away.

I didn't realized that I TRUELY loved him and wanted to be with him until he left for BOOT CAMP and was gone for a couple of months before I saw him.

So with me, it hit me on the head when I knew he was gone!!!

Of course when he came home for christmas, I jumped in his arms, apologized for how I acted, and ever since then, we've been so happy!

Let's just say, that ol' saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder"...is VERY true in my world!

 

[banslug]

Jasmin, my co-worker and I have been having some fun giggles because of my love life these days.

First, in regards to your question......the gentleman I recently broke up with, after dating him for almost 2 years is a great guy, WONDERFUL with my kids (notice I said WITH my kids, not FOR my kids), generous, funny and a very even-tempered (happy) guy. Throughout our 22 months or so of dating, I was wishy-washy like you explain...one minute I'm attracted to him and think THIS IS IT, the next minute.....not so much. Then the next week after not seeing him for a few days (due to his work schedule), I'd miss him and love being with him again, then the feeling would wear off again. At one point, I was certain I wanted to marry this guy. But something kept tugging me away from those feelings, and in the end I broke it off (about 5 months ago). Today, we're still friends; in fact, he and his DS were here for dinner last week and my BFF asked me if there was "anything" still there, and um, yeah....NOPE! lol

Now, the funny story (to me anyway). Last year a guy asked me out and I politely told him I was dating somebody (the gentleman mentioned above). Fast forward to now, I'm not dating anybody and just told my mom that if this guy were to ask me out NOW, I'd accept. Turns out I work with his 25-or-so year-old son at our school! LOL And this 'kid' keeps talking about his dad and on and on and on! My co-worker now refers to this kid as my step son! LOL (sorry, maybe not funny to others, but it sure is to me). I mean, my choices are limited simply because of my circumstances and the circles I float in....there's just no way I can date this guy (if he even asked) and have his son work with me! LOL

ANYWAY......the single life is starting to turn out kind of fun for me.....hope it's the same for you!

Gayle

 

[Jasmin416]

LOL...very funny stories ladies. I guess I have to keep dating this guy to see. I know I am very physically attracted to this guy but I'm wondering if the lack of stimulating conversation I tend to like is going to change. It has only been 2 dates so we'll see I guess

Dating is like trying to find your porridge.....just so. lol

 

[kathryn]

Sounds like there's quite a bit of physical attraction involved, but maybe not enough behind it. At least for now. It's only been two dates. Maybe he's the type to takes a bit to 'warm up,' and you'll find after a bit that he's deeper than he now seems. (Of course, if the 'lack of stimulating conversation' really means "he's kinda dumb and boring,' he may not be!).

You have to decide what you value.

One of my former boyfriends was handsome, sweet, vegan...but our sense of humor was completely misaligned, and he ended up being kinda not as smart as I'd hoped, which killed the relationship for me.

 

[Fidget Queen]

I would say that if this guy is truly a nice guy, then give it a little bit of time. I am a HORRIBLE dater. If I am at all attracted to somebody, I act like a moron. I can't think, can't speak, can't do anything without making a fool out of myself. Even when I am telling myself that I am making things worse by being self-conscious, it doesn't change what I'm doing. And I'm not particularly pretty, so personality is pretty much what I have going for me! Nice conundrum, huh?

I can only thank goodness that a few men out there have been willing to look past my initial inability for stimulating conversation and see that there is potential in me. I need a little time to feel comfortable and loosen up, and perhaps your guy needs the same. I'm not saying that you should dismiss your feelings, but think that the whirlwind feeling you are looking for can make us do stupid things and stick with a person that isn't good for us.

Good luck!

 

[banslug]

On the topic of conversation and chatting....the guy I recently broke up with talked as much as ME! lol But it was TOO much, if that makes sense. Nonstop chatter about this and that! He'd call me from his car, on his hour-long drive home (using his hands-free device, lol) and chit chat about work and work and oh yeah, work....for AN HOUR! Now, HE had nothing to do besides drive and talk, but in that HOUR, I had to get all KINDS of stuff done at home with my kids! DROVE ME NUTS after the first month! lol

Yeah, dating is definitely a try-it-on-for-size type of situation.

Personally, I find it ironic that when I'm 'unavailable' there are a guys asking me for a date, but the second I decide that I'm ready and willing to date again (and available), there's nobody for MILES AND MILES! LOL So, I'll just sit back and twiddle my thumbs until one comes along!

Gayle

 

[LaughingWater]

We clicked right away, and physical attraction really didn't even come up on the radar for me until a few dates into it. I just love the way his mind works.

(Not entirely sure what he sees in me though. )

 

[Liann]

When I was "on the market", I tried to never ask myself any serious "where is this going" questions on the second date. No need to analyze your every feeling at this point. Use this time to get to know the person. I don't know that I believe in just meeting someone and "knowing" that it's the right person. I think at first there are so many other feelings that get in the way of that - the up and down roller coaster high you are on when you first start going out with someone. One minute you thinks he's great, the next minute you're not so sure. Up-down, up-down, etc... I'll tell you this much - I couldn't stand my DH when I first met him. I had 0 interest. He pursued me for 2 years though in and out of college and across the country. And at some point 3 years later I finally realized "yeah, this is the one". But it took TIME. And I was still dating other people during that time period.

 

[EricaH]

I didn't like DH when I first met him. He tricked me into going on a date with him and spending that time with him talking is what did it for me. We just seemed perfect for each other - the relationship came so easily. We were total opposites at the time and no one thought our relationship would last, but we've been very happy together for almost 24 years now (married over 22). He's the best thing that ever happened to me and if he didn't trick me into going out with him I never would have been with him!

Erica