Clutter-free for one more hour

nancy324

nancy324

Cathlete
My DH has been away on business for a week and I just looked around the apartment and noticed that it is finally the way I like it. There are no piles of mail, magazines and papers everywhere (except in his office of course). The dining room table top is actually clear! All the clutter has found a place, or has been thrown away.

In one hour he is going to walk in the front door, and it will all be gone. He will put stuff down everywhere, and the suitcase won't even get unpacked for days. My harmonious peaceful little world will be shattered.

Does anyone else have a hopelessly Oscar-Felix relationship? How do you cope? x(

-Nancy
 
Are you kidding. I could have written this post. In fact the only time that I can get the house neat and clean is when my DH is out of town. He's ususally away on business during the week and the house is spotless. The second he walks in the door on Friday, it's like there is a trail of his belongings from the front door to the bedroom. The kitchen sink starts filling up with dishes, which I can't figure out since the dishwasher is RIGHT there. There are clothes all over the bedroom floor and the once clean, clutter free bathroom is a mess. It's rather irritating, since I have made such an effort to keep it that way during the week and would like to be able to enjoy it on the weekends when I am home...but alas, that is never the case. We argue about it, but that never seems to get the point across. I don't know how I cope, in fact sometimes I don't. Most of the time I find myself just cleaning up after him, which also PO's me, since I am not his Mother! Guess it's just easier that way! x(

Wish I had some words of wisdom, but just know that you aren't alone in this situation. I would love to hear what others have to say. Maybe some of them will have suggestions for us Domestic Goddesses. :)
 
No helpful advice here, either--just sympathy. Somehow I think men (ok, some men--no broad generalizations) just don't see clutter as a problem or even realize that things *are* cluttered.

For the past 3 weeks, my SO has been building a new computer. This has meant 3 weeks of carefully avoiding the computer parts, tools, CDs of computer software and boxes all over the living room floor--in a small 1-bedroom apartment, even. Plus, every time I workout I have to move all the crap that has yet again found its way either onto my step and weights or right in front of it. This is in addition to the dirty clothes on the floor and dishes in the sink. To his credit, though, he does clean it up and organize if I ask. It's just that it never lasts and I hate clutter!

Bb
 
Ugg. My DH builds computers too (not as a career, just for extra $) and our pool table, which sits in the middle of our open concept apartment, is his "workspace". It drives me crazy, and God help me if I try to move anything...actually I don't even have to touch it, if it's missing I automatically did something with it... I can't complain though, he's handy with technical stuff.
 
Oh My Gosh!!!! Nancy.....I could also have written your post!! I refer to my DH as "Pigpen" from Charlie Brown, it just seems to follow him...the mess I mean! I wish I could help...but we have been together for like 26 years....and I can hardly wait for him to go out of town. I was in a blissful world like you a few weeks ago as he was at his Dad's. It is such an awesone feeling not to have clutter. I even have to throw things away when he isn't home or he looks in the trash and questions everything!!!! It's a good thing he is good looking...:+ Is there any help for us?????.....Carole
 
My brother is a "pigpen". When we were kids, the house would be immaculate, then he'd walk in the door from track practice, and a trail of crud (being polite by using "crud" in place of the word I really want to use) would go from the door to his room. It was aggravating! Socks, shoes, gym bag, book bag, ankle wraps, jacket, shorts, books.....x(

He is still like this today and I don't know how his wife copes. I just want to start cleaning when I go over to their house...just get a big trash bag and start dumping everything into it. What's sad is that they've got two kids, and both have picked up daddy's (my broher's) bad habit.
 
I live with two men....husband and son....it sucks!!!

They are both slobs!

My husbands clothes...always in the floor...glasses and dishes left all over the house....my son has a heavy beard so his whiskers were always all over his bathroom counter!!!

I finally got sick of it!! So I started doing the 'fly-lady' thing that I found out about on this forum!! I just started following the plan....it is amazing how much more the guys pick up after themselves when I stopped doing it!
 
I used to get these nice baskets from the craft store to organize his paperwork -- one for the bills, another for the junk mail that he refuses to let go because he just has to read itx(, and another for his manuals from work. The baskets got full, so I had to get more. And more. You get the picture.

Eventually I bought one of those expensive, high-powered shredders. That seemed to do the trick. Junk mail is automatically put in the trash and bills are piled on one side of the kitchen counter. Ever since he switched jobs last year, there are no more manuals full of software code. I also got a filing cabinet for really important stuff like financial statements and tax records. All our essentials go there.

But... he still has this habit of holding on to piles of paperwork and receipts, the non-essentials. Since I know I can't really change the man, I got him one of those Sterilite boxes that can hold file folders. I tell him that once he fills out the box, all the contents go in the shredder. And they do.:)

Pinky
 
This is a hot topic at my house!!! my dh is such a slob too!!!!! we are polar opposites in almost every way and this is just the biggest one!!! he leaves wet towels on the bed, dishes NEXT TO the sink, clothes on the floor and i am not even going to decribe his office!!!!! i used to really get offended that i would spend so much time cleaning and he would destroy it in a matter of moments, but then i accepted the fact that it is NEVER going to be a priority to him and that is the end of it. so i follow him around like a little boy picking up after himx( this is my choice and my obsession. in his defense, he will do it himself it i nag him about it, but his definition of "clean" and "in a minute" are not the same as mine. if you want it done right , ya got to do it yourself!!! this has been true of every single man that has ever been involved in my life in any way!!!! i am no longer disapointed. i just expect it. i can wait for him to do it, or i can do it myself. i have no patience, so i do it myself! i justify it by telling myself that since i don't work and he does, this is a fair deal, but i still resent it on occasion!!!!




jes
 
Pinky,

Sounds like we are married to the same guy. My DH won't let go of a single receipt or a piece of junk mail. And the house is filled with manuals of software code. He has lots of file cabinets that I insisted that he get, but he doesn't seem to use them! We have a shredder too, but he doesn't use it nearly enough.

Our co-op is planning to set up storage in the basement that we can pay for by the month. He keeps promising me that as soon as it's set up, all the boxes of junk (he saves everything) are going down there. I am living for that day. :-(

-Nancy
 
Nancy, based on many of your posts, I can see we share many similarities. If my memory serves me well today, you're a lawyer, right? Well, I once longed to go to law school.

Anyway, I don't really do much of the shredding. My son does. I've been teaching him to do light chores around the house. He's 4, and as early as now, I want him to know I can't do everything for everybody and his help is greatly appreciated.:) He thinks the shredder is a cool machine, so I let him shred his father's junk. With my close supervision, of course. So really, my husband can't complain.;-)

Maybe once your husband starts paying for storage, he just might want to get rid of clutter than dole out money you can use for more important things. Cross your fingers?:)

Pinky
 
Pinky,
You read my mind. He is cheap, so once he has to actually start PAYING to store his junk, he may rethink the whole idea of keeping everything. }( }( }(

Yup, I'm a lawyer. I remember that you wanted to go to law school, but I don't remember what your profession is now. What is it?

I totally agree with teaching your kids to help around the house, and if I had any, they would be doing the same thing for sure! Actually, my DH has some of the traits of a 4-yr. old. He loves using the shredder, so I try to make getting rid of his stuff easier by reminding him that he can shred it. You think I'm kidding, don't you? :-(

-Nancy
 
Nancy my "crap" suggestion

Sue him for "emotional distress"

Your a lawyer so you can rigg it to WIN

Marion





You have to stay in shape. My Grandmother started walking when she was 60. Today she is 97 and we don't know where the hell she is! - Ellen DeGeneres
 
>>I finally got sick of it!! So I started doing the 'fly-lady'
>thing that I found out about on this forum!! I just started
>following the plan....it is amazing how much more the guys
>pick up after themselves when I stopped doing it!

I have got to know--what is the 'fly-lady' thing? And I've tried not picking up after him--we had 3 day's worth of dirty socks on the living room floor. He didn't care; it drove me nuts.

One thing that I've done that does somewhat work: If his stuff has wound up in my workout area, it gets moved to the couch and the floor when I go to workout. However, this is only effective when the junk I'm moving involves computer parts that shouldn't be broken/lost/touched.
 
Nancy, I was a graphic designer in a past life. These days we buy properties, fix them up, then lease or sell them. This allows me a way to have an income and still be home for my boy.

I remember watching a talk show a long time ago (Oprah?) about how difficult it really is for moms -- working or not -- to juggle everything in their lives, and how important it is to MAKE the rest of the family pitch in. The guest said something about kids being able to do light housework by age 3. I thought she was exaggerating. Until I had my son and when he was 2, I taught him how to put his toys in baskets that slide under the table and he thought it was a game.

Hang in there. Having him pay to store his non-essentials might just do it.

Pinky
 
There is a web-site (www.flylady.net) that is all about organizing your house/life by getting rid of clutter. Everyday the website posts cleaning goals (or they will email them to you). The main point of it is to try and do just a little bit at a time, try to stay on top of the mess before it overwhelms you. I used to get the daily emails but found it a bit overwhelming, but the main concepts are pretty good and they have helped me tremendously - my husband and 3 kids are engaged in a neverending war against me and a tidy home.
Tracy
 
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