Breaking up.........

banslug

banslug

Cathlete
OK....the other post about an SO's habits and whether he can or will change made me post this. My heart is pounding as I do. I just told my best friends this past weekend about this.

I'm currently engaged, but very VERY seriously considering returning the ring to him.....SOON....as in this week. Many factors play into this...MANY MANY MANY! He's a good guy, but I'm getting NOTHING out of this relationship for ME. We've been engaged for almost 1.5 years now and it's going nowhere fast. We've actually lost ground since we got engaged. The one thing that keeps coming to my mind is the night he proposed....he asked, I said YES of course followed by "we have to talk" and he said, "that's why I did this" (meaning the engagement). Shouldn't we have talked BEFORe that step??? lol

ANYWAY! I'm terrified of this conversation. Not sure exactly how to START that conversation.

BUT.......you know what??? I'm not afraid of being alone anymore. Of raising my kids alone.

Im rambling. The show must go on.......

Gayle
 
Wow Galye! I'm so sorry BUT glad you are confidnet in yourself. You ARE very strong and are a great Mom! Good Luck and hope it all turns out fine. I will be thinking of you this week in my thoughts & prayers!


http://www.PictureTrail.com/gid8692709


Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH (AKA "Den Mother Debbie") http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/aktion/action-smiley-066.gif[/img] If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance, I Hope You DANCE!
 
Gayle,
You are wise...and brave. Many would stick with a relationship out of habit, fear of change, laziness etc. Obviously you have thought a great deal about this and I would say you are doing the right thing for both of you. Your kids have a kick a$$ mom ;-)
 
{{{{{Gayle}}}}} I can't add anything to what Debbie and Beavs have already posted, but I will remember you in my prayers.
 
If you don't see it working out with this guy, you are MUCH better off cutting loose now rather than waiting until after marriage and ending up with a messy divorce. It sounds like you have your head screwed on straight. Good for you for recognizing potential problems and nipping them before making such a HUGE commitment. It may be hard, but you are doing him a favor too by being honest about your feelings. (hugs) to you.
 
Thanks, ladies! I do like to consider myself a kick A$$ mom! LOL.

Seriously, though....I am afraid of how exactly to tell my KIDS more than I am about telling DFiance! lol. These boys have already been thru so much change, and since DFiance was a friend of mine at the time of DH's passing, my kids are so used to seeing him around. BUT....if I'm getting nothing from this relationship, then neither are my kids, right? RIGHT? lol

Gayle
 
Right, you have to do what's right for you and I'm sure being the great mom you are, you'll find the right words to explain it to your kids. If you're not happy, kids aren't happy. Better to iron this out before you get married, rather than after.

Good luck to you!

Marcy
 
>Thanks, ladies! I do like to consider myself a kick A$$ mom!
>LOL.
>
>Seriously, though....I am afraid of how exactly to tell my
>KIDS more than I am about telling DFiance! lol. These boys
>have already been thru so much change, and since DFiance was a
>friend of mine at the time of DH's passing, my kids are so
>used to seeing him around. BUT....if I'm getting nothing from
>this relationship, then neither are my kids, right? RIGHT? lol
>

Is there another man in your life -- a father, brother, grandfather, etc, who could step in for your kids?
 
Good for you! I give big kudos to someone that has these thoughts and addresses them before taking the big step. Give it some thought and have that conversation. It sounds like you are in the perfect mindset to do it.

Good luck
 
Gayle :: so sorry to hear you are at this crossroads...but like the others here, I give you a ton of credit for your strength and confidence in knowing what is right for you and your boys. You have already been through hell - you certainly should not be settling for anything less than the best. (((HUGS))) comin' atcha!

Cathy
 
Gayle,

I am so happy for you that you have found the strength and courage to do this because it takes both. I have always loved the saying "People will only change when the pain of where they are is greater than the fear of where they are going." It sounds from your post that you have decided enough is enough and are not afriad of being a single mom. That is wonderful and you should pat yourself on the back.

You will be fine. You will look back later and imagine how you stayed complacent for so long (believe me, I am speaking from experience).
 
Thanks, again, folks. I knew my nerves would be calmed by coming to you all!

Michele....my dad is around, but unfortunately, we're now dealing with my mom's recent bout of cancer. And I only have sisters.

BUT......my kids are doing really well and transitioned from the death pretty easily. Like everybody is saying....better to make the split now as opposed to years into a marriage.

THANKS!!!!!!!

Gayle
 
There is nothing wrong in being single. Some of my best friends are single and Very Happy.

Janie

The idea is to die young as late as possible

www.picturetrail.com/janiejoey

0607_10008295321.gif
 
I normally wouldn't respond since I don't post here much but this one... I've been divorced now for a year, it was the best thing I did for myself. I can tell you that the main reasons I left him after 10 years were the same concerns and issues I had in the first 6 months. Listen to your heart and just know that you can weather any storm if you stay true to yourself!

Good luck!
 
Gayle - {{{{HUGS}}}} I have the utmost faith that you will find the proper way for you. I have you in my prayers.
 
Heather,
My sister said the same thing after her divorce. The issues that caused her to leave were the same as those which gave her doubts before they got hitched. She ignored that inner voice, and instead, expected/hoped that things would get better. They didn't.

~Cathy :)
 
Gayle,

so sorry you are going thru this unfortunate situation. i know you will make the right decision for you and your sons. (((hugs)))).
 
Hi Gayle,

I am praying for you.

Follow your true instincts. Please continue to be strong....


In my thoughts here! :)



"Life is too short - Be the best you can be every single day of your life!" :)
 
Gayle, just be honest and tell your kids the truth. It will show them you respect them. Besides, kids can figure this stuff out, and they probably already know something's not right, anyway.
 
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