Body Image

[naughtoj]

I am having the worst time!

My warped body image issues have gotten so bad that I can't even shop for clothes anymore. I think NOTHING looks good on me, like I look like a joke in everything! I take about 50 things into the dressing room and leave 50 things inside the dressing room when I leave. I have no freaking clue how clothes are supposed to fit me because I have lived in rags/tents for the last year and a half. I look like complete hell.....my clothes, my hair, my no-makeup face. The only thing I DON'T think I look absolutely ridiculous in is either workout clothes (which I feel fat in anyway) or my birthday suit! Yes, I actually feel better about myself totally naked!!! Some would think that was great, I suppose, but I need to wear clothes!!

This is becoming a real issue with me, because now I would like to look nicer, take more effort in my appearance, but I feel like I don't know how to do it anymore, like I am hopeless.

I think I need Stacey and Clinton to come barging into my house from "What Not To Wear". How do I get help for this so I can get me some new clothes and ACTUALLY WEAR them?? The few times I have talked myself into buying something I thought I looked ridiculous in in the dressing room, I have brought it home and it never was worn a second time. I keep reaching for the same stained T-shirts and the same five pairs of cotton shorts that I have owned for 10 years.


To make it worse, I just came back from "Interview" clothes shopping and want to curl into the fetal position and cry. I am short, thick, and have big boobs. Seems IMPOSSIBLE to find a nice pantsuit to fit and look right. Fitting issues aside, I don't even KNOW how these things are supposed to look!!! I would take my sister with me but that scares me too cuz she hasn't been employed in a decade!!!


Where do you guys get your fashion advice/know how if you are not innately creative?? I don't know how to put an outfit together to save my soul. That is why I can't shop in places like TJ Maxx cuz you have to "do it all yourself". I like the mall, with the manequin completely dressed. I say, "I'll take THAT". And then it cost a million cazillion dollars.

Someone help!!! How do you buy clothes if you feel stupid in EVERYTHING!! Not just fat, but frumpy or thick or not petite enough or legs too squatty..there is always something!!!

HELP!!!}( }( x( x(

 

[Miss Lee]

Janice--I wish I could reach through my computer and give you the biggest (((hug))). You are so stressed out. :-( I know it doesn't seem like it now, but everything will work out. Take a deep breath and count to 10.

Unless you have a perfect body, shopping for clothes is really hard. Go with the idea in mind that you're going to need the better part of the day to find something. Major department stores in the bigger cities often employ stylists or personal shoppers that can help you. If that is not an option for you, take someone with you that you trust to give you good advice. Don't focus so much on a suit, but try instead to find coordinated separates. If you're like me, anything you buy will need to be altered. Again, a good department store offers this service, sometimes for free. Shopping at the mall does not necessarily mean you have to break the bank either. You can often find great bargains in the department stores.

Take a day or 2 off then go back to the store with a renewed spirit and determination. When you try clothes on, if they don't fit quite right, consider alterations.

Janice, I promise you, everything will work out. Take good care and stop beating yourself up. You have the support of your forum friends!! Now, go get 'em

Michele

 

[lala1]

I have no clue how much something like this would cost, but here goes: have you thought about getting somekind of consultant like Stacy and Clinton? Sometimes it takes an outsider to wade through all the styles and clothes out there to find those that are right for YOU. There are some books out there to help us dress better. Where do I get my help? My daughters!

 

[Timber99]

OH, I feel so badly for you...and I have some recommendations, but let me try to make you feel better w/ a little humor first! I am 6 feet tall, with hips, a chest and a butt. If it isn't too short on me in teh pant length, it doesn't go over my hips. If it does go over my hips, I have a huge gap around my waist or better yet, when I sit, my entire rear end sags out and you can see directly down my pants in the back. Size 12 fits like I have male genitals (that gap that is evver so lovely). Size ten are often too short, EVEN IN TALL! I need *everything* to be longer than the average person - lengths on pants, sleeves, tshirts (lengths), suit coats, pantyhose, etc. Shoes? They all look like small canoes. There's no style when you have big feet, honey. Nine times out of ten, I put on clothes in the store and feel like an overgrown ape busting out of my striped t-shirt :+

First of all, what is it that is bothering you? Are you just not grasping a good style for your body or are you just not into what is in the stores? There have been many times when I have gotten frustrated and only realized that the current style was just way too young or small or tight for me.

Can you see if a local store has a shopper to help you? Or would you consider asking a lady in the store? A lot of times I ask the ladies in the store to help me out finding things and believe it or not, they are always very helpful. My guess is that there are nice clothes out there for you but you aren't looking at the right things. Don't be afraid to ask for help though b/c a lot of times, the people that work there are able to help and enjoy it.

Can you go shopping with someone? Whether they work or not, a second set of eyes can always help!

Good Luck
Christine

 

[red_mct]

Janice, I am sorry you are having such a rough time.

Do you have any pics of yourself online? That might be helpful for getting suggestions on the right kinds of shapes to buy, which is the most important part of clothing.

You can actually buy the "What Not to Wear" guide at Border's or another bookstore - it is written by the REAL WNTW gurus (Trinny and Susannah from BBC America) and their advice is fab!

Good luck!
Marie

 

[Joannafit]

do you have a steinmart near you.....they have nice clothes, reasonable, and they group pieces together to give ideas.

 

[pink_fortitude]

Janice, I am sending great big hugs to you!!! I am so sorry that you are feeling that way! I have no fashion sense, especially for business (everything I own is white and I have mostly pjs and only one pair of khakis and jeans because I, too, hate to try on cloths), but I wish I could help you that way. I can tell you that everyone has been where you are and has felt fat, frumpy and ridiculous at one part in life. Just hang in there. Inspiration will come to you! (And hopefully, it will be cheap! )

Missy

 

[dani21496]

Janice!!!! I'm offering you up some big (((HUGS))) too!!!

I'm "petite" too like you with a 36C chest! My favorite places to go are Ann Taylor-Ann Taylor Loft and The Limited. They have petite/short lengths and tops in a bunch of sizes (including petite).

The sales people are always nice and Ann Taylor always has a clearance section. Try those out first. I bet you'll find something you like.

We love you Janice!!!!

 

[smoogy]

Janice, I am about the same as you when it comes to shopping for clothes. I can try on 50 different outfits. If I'm lucky and only if I'm lucky, I might find 1 or 2 pieces I would buy. That's why I hate shopping. I also live in scrubs so I can easily be so out of fashion.

Anyway, don't look for a suit if you can't afford it. Why not buy some nice black slacks. No pleats and make them boot cut or flared. That tends will tend to lengthen your legs. If you find the perfect fit hipwise but not in length you can always hem them. As for a top, look for a light turtleneck or button up blouse in a dark color but not black. The reason I recommend a turtleneck is because it looks professional on a big-breasted gal (you don't want to show cleavage). Also, it is always recommended in fashion magazines for minimizing bust lines. Maybe you can look for a sleeveless turtleneck with sweater set in a nice jewel tone. Just don't get anything frilly or ornate to avoid drawing attention to your bust line.

Did you see anything at all you half liked? Remember, you want to look smart, polished and no-nonsense when you interview for the hour or so you'll interview. Then you can go home and put on one of those comfy t-shirts & cotton shorts you feel so great in.

Marla

 

[naughtoj]

You guys are AWESOME! Thank you so so so so much for the encouragement!!

Joanna.........STEINMART??? Ah, yes, actually I am going there tomorrow with my sister and brother. We'll see how it goes!!

Christine...your humor worked! ROTFL!!! It is nice to see some of the same frustration!

Thank you all!

 

[naughtoj]

Marla...

This is EXACTLY why I want to be a nurse..........so I can forever live in scrubs! LOL!!! (that is part of the reason);-)

Yes Marla, I did see things I "half liked". They were frilly spaghetti strapped foo foo pretty girl tops (I was off track for a bit here from the interview dress). When I tried them on I looked like a linebacker in the NFL. Ahhh..someday, right? I even got a few new bras from Victorias Secret just to go out shopping for something pretty!! Girls at school wear this stuff and pull it off. I think THEY look fine. It is all in my head!

Those clothes just look SO CUTE on the hanger. It is when they get on me that it all goes to hell.}(

 

[benvonwojo]

Have you tried consulting a personal shopper? Some of the bigger Department stores such as Fields and Bloomingdales supply personal shoppers for free.

Oh, and on the body image issue--I am with you on that feeling. I also cannot find anything I think I look good in, because I am always feeling overweight. I wish I could give you a great, big hug through my computer at work. YOU take care and be proud that you can finish a Cathe workout when most of the people on this earth would fall over in exhaustion before completion.

 

[Fit_mommy]

Janice, I don't really have any advice to give but I just wanted to say I know how you feel. When you are not happy with your body it can be dang near IMPOSSIBLE to find clothes that you like. I know...I have been there when I just plain old needed to lose weight and I am there right now while I try to lose my pregnancy weight. You DO know though that you are your own worst critic so you should probably find someone you trust to go shopping w/you not only to let you know how you look in the clothes but to help you put stuff together since you have a hard time with that.

Hope it gets better for you!

((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))