Big transition in my life...

N

Norma48

Cathlete
just last Sunday the 4th I had a great time with my first half marathon ever, my kids were there for me cheering me up, and I really enjoyed it, however, 3 of them who are in college and working decided to move out, in less than a week they are gone!!! ;( What happened? thou I know it is time for them to fly away from the nest, thing I am so proud of. They came to me with the news, and very carefully let me know they found an apparment, good thing is they moved together, sharing the rent and expenses, etc etc. I do remember moving out at 22 and it was such a thrill, so I did understood them, but all happened so soon, my aparment is empty, I was just left with Rebekah, 14, who is so happy to have so much space, thou I feel a relief, I also feel miserable, I am happy for them, and I also love the huge space, they have move not far away from me, only 2 miles from where I live, yet the feeling of a mother seeing his children leaving is overwhelming, look like yesterday we were all watching sesame street, reading rainbow, I homeschooled them for 4 years, we were so closed, I hate this feeling, I know it is the empty nest syndrom, and just to realized that 3/4 of my nest is empty, makes me so gloomy, and makes me feel so so old, if it wouldn't be for the running and biking I am doing, I would be lost.
To you all mothers of young ones, embrace the moment they are so depending on you, with the ups and downs of the daily routine, it is not just one more day, it is "one more day with them" .... <sigh>
Norma

http://www.geocities.com/norma123nyc/Mygreatjourney.html

http://www.lifetimetv.com/reallife/df/success/chavez.html
 
Hey Norma! Congrats on your marathon! that's great:) i'm sorry you miss your babies. it will take some getting used to, but i know there are many women here who have experienced this and will be here to help cheer you up. enjoy the space and new time for yourself. hang in there!


jes:)
 
Hey Norma, congratulations on your first half marathon! Now that your babies are on their own, you have more time to train.:) Believe me, they will come back every now and then, especially with you all being so closely knit. My mom lives on the other side of the world, and we weren't very close to begin with, but I seek her out and call her all the time. I actually started appreciating my mom for the person that she is, and not just for being my mother, when I moved out. I started understanding so many things about her, her life, her perceptions, how all those affected my upbringing, and it just helped me bond with her more. So hang in there. Know your kids love you.:)

Pinky
 
Hello Norma,

First of all, let me say that I have been inspired by YOU! Norma, I understand the connection you must have with your children, I too homeschooled my daughter for 5 years and know the bonding that comes with doing so. Norma, please let yourself step back for just a moment and bask in a job well done. You have created three major ( and probably hundreds of minor miracles as well) miracles in your life:1. You have built a new life apart from an abusive husband. 2. You have built a whole new body with the self love that comes from fitness. 3.You have created 4 very happy and loving children who have your example to live by!

You know Norma, if you look real close you may realize that everyone in your home has a new skin. As a mother of two children myself I can only imagine the lonliness you might feel...however, it is far from bitter. You have shown your children that life is good and worth living to it's fullest. What a gift you have given them. Your children have grown wings and you have shown them how to fly!

Buena Suerte~dmd
 
Norma,I'm sending hugs your way .I have a 20 yr old still at home .I'm sure he will move out soon .It will be a sad and a happy day LOL,I also have one just starting pre school and we are having a tuff time !!! Hugs to you ,And your right it happens in a flash !!!!!!!
 
Norma-First of all Congrats on the marathon! Now about the empty nest...My son is 24 but moved out when he was 18 (over acheiver) and I went through a very rough time! I cried everyday but everyday it became easier. He is my only child so that made it even worse. In time you will feel better and may even enjoy the extra free time. My sonnow lives an hour from me but I still see him often. Now I am so glad he has a great job a great place tolive and a wonderful band. I also now love that he doesn't live with me. I would kill him now as we have such diferent lifestyles:) So I guess what I am saying is this too shall pass and someday soon you will feel better!

Terri
 
Norma ~ First of all, congrats on your first half marathon! That is awesome! I don't have any words of wisdom about your kids moving out because mine are only 7,6,2-1/2. I feel like these seven years have gone by in a flash. You're right we have to enjoy all these little moments. It goes by way too fast! :-(

Hang in there. Sending (((((hugs))))) your way!!!

Dallas
 
Hey Norma -
Congrats on the 1/2 marathon - that is such an accomplishment!! I have two small kids, thank you for reminding me to enjoy every day.
((HUGS))
Lizzy
 
Congrats on your mini marathon! That is quite a feat! And as far as your kids go....I am so sorry! They grow too quickly, and I will definately give mine an extra hug tonight, thanks for the reminder. Don't forget to love on the one that is still there!

Missy
 
Norma,

Congratulations on your 1/2 maranthon.

I know how you feel about empty nest syndrome. In the summer of 2001, my son who had graduated from HS in 1998 decided he was going into the military. My daughter graduated from HS in May of 2001. DS left for boot camp in June and DD left for college in August. I was so lost. I couldn't call DS because of boot camp but I cherished the phone calls I got from him even though they were only seconds long it seemed like. I called DD every day and she wanted mama to call her every day so that helped a lot.

They are back now plus one. DS is spent two years in South Korea and was stationed at Ft. Bliss in El Paso, TX the rest of the time. That's a long way from NC!

Anyway, DS and wife built their house about 40 minutes from us and DD is living about 45 minutes away. We see each other almost every weekend and we talk on the phone every day, DS and DD.

It will get better Norma, I promise. When the recruiter picked up my son that afternoon, I sat in the backyard in a lawn chair and cried for two hours. I cried then entire way home when we left DD at college.

But you learn to love your new life without everyone underfoot. You get use to it just like you adapt to all shifts in life. This empty feeling won't be forever. I know, I've been through it.

I'll be thinking of you.
 
Congrats Norma!

I'm with you. My daughter is a sophomore at college. We talk at least 2 times a day. I'm a single Mom so perhaps that has something to do with it.

I can't bear the idea of when my son goes off to college. I'm savoring every momement and did this summer with both kids too.

Agree those of you with young kids enjoy it! It goes so fast!
 
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