Are you secretive?

P

pixie9

Cathlete
I was wondering if any of you ladies find that you have to be sort of secretive about your fitness and healthy eating routines? I have found over the years that most people are really sedentary and if they find out that you're well...not then they treat you differently. I have had sooo many friends(well, closer than acquaintances), and coworkers, make fun and make rude comments about my lifestyle choices. I used to make suggestions (kindly I might add) to people who were having issues that I thought diet and exercise might help and they totally blew me off as a "fitness freak" with no concept of reality. I've even been told that my lifestyle is extreme and takes up too much of my time. So since then, I remain pretty quiet about exercise etc except with you all and my husband and family. I even have to keep my mouth shut around my husband's family as they think I'm wierd enough. Anyway, just wondering if any of you had similar experiences and how you dealt with them. I really want to embrace my healthy self in public, but I'm sick of the negativity about it.:-(
Thanks ladies.
cArolyn
 
I have noticed that after I lost weight, people would come up to me enthusiastically, asking me how I lost the weight. When I opened my mouth, they stared at my with shining eyes, as if I were going to hand them the Holy Grail. When I said that I did it through diet and exercise, their eyes glazed over and they sort of slumped as if I had given them a great disappointment. Everyone is looking for a quick fix.

I live in the Bay Area and more people here are fitness buffs then in other areas, but even given that, I get comments like, "I couldn't do what YOU do." As if I'm some sort of super athlete - nothing can be further from the truth. I merely don't rest on my laurels and I like to challenge myself.
 
Oh yeah, I have to be secretive too. Mostly around coworkers. They think I'm somewhat of a freak. They are all middle-aged men who grew up on farms and ate meat and potatoes and fried things. They all have high blood pressure and high cholesterol and are overweight/obese, and I watch them scarf down double cheeseburgers and greasy pizza at lunch every day. Then they think I'm weird eating all my salads and vegetarian things. Hmmm, but I'm not overweight, and my blood pressure and cholesterol are perfect! Funny how that works! I never talk about my exercise. They wouldn't understand that at all!
 
I remember when my family ask me how I lost weight. I told them that I ate healthy and exercised. Their comment was that I should eat more. That made me so mad. So yes, I have to be secretive,especially around my family.


kim
 
I keep my mouth shut at all times!!! Even if the topic of exercise and healthy eating come up, I stay quiet. If some one asks me a direct question, I will answer it but I don't offer any additional information. I don't care for the "deer caught in headlights" look at all!
 
The healthier I try to live, the more negative people around me become. I've just gotten to the point where I don't really give a flying poot whether they like it or not. My true friends and close family know that from the time I get home from work until about 7:30 or 8 not to call, because I'm working out, showering and eating dinner.

A lady here at work was asking me about what type of workouts I was doing because she could see the changes in my arms. One of the other hens heard and said "Ms Fitness there does workouts with "Cathe" and is watching her eating habits, but she won't tell you what kind of diet she is on." This set me off because she has been picking at me for a while now because she knows I am trying to work on my temper. Well not this day.

I responded, "First of all, no one pulled you chain. Second, I don't diet...I don't have to. Third, maybe you should think about dieting or at the least walking up the stairs instead of taking the elevator, since your fat a** is popping seams on your pants." Smarty mouth's eyes filled up with tears and other people start clapping. Almost felt bad, but I'd had enough.

Anyway, I turned my back at started talking to the first lady again, and told her what my workout routine looked like and how I didn't diet, but am trying to eat clean, and despite my snappiness today, trying to keep my temper in check. She asked if I'd have lunch with her next week and she could kinda check out what I was doing. She really wants to start some type of fitness program, but doesn't know where to begin. (I'm recommending Cathe's new DVDs to her.)

All that being said, embrace your healthy self in public, in private and wherever else you chose. It is not healthy metally, for you to bury it inside as if you are participating in some taboo activity.
Thoese that love and care about you will accept this as a positive in you, that don't...well that's on them.
 
I feel the same way, but a lot of times I can blame it on genetically high cholesterol. That seems to be OK with people, but I know what you mean if you decide to pass on dessert, etc. the eyebrow raising that goes on.

I usually don't even tell people how much I work out. It slipped out the other day that I did weights in the AM and then cardio in the afternoon and I got a look.

I do feel it's better just to remain silent.

Dallas
 
I am definitely secretive about it except to my SO and close friends--my friends accept it but don't get it or aren't interested. I'm particularly secretive about it at work. I think it's a defense mechanism that I developed. I work in an industry where martydom and wokring late and weekends and not having a life is seen as normal. I found over the years that if I let on that the reason I was refusing to work nights and weekends was that I "only" had to go workout--well, people wouldn't respect that as a real commitment. After all, from their point a view I wasn't a "real" athlete--that is, a professional athlete--and therefore my working out was a frivolous hobby. I see this a lot still: A lot of the women in my office talk about dieting constantly and sometimes they even get into going to the gym. It never lasts, though--they get stuck on a crazy project, work nights and weekends constantly, and don't stick up for their right to have time to themselves every day. So I learned to keep my mouth shut and just talk about having family responsibilities.
 
Funny you said that. I've just recently decided that (like Sarah) I'm not going to discuss my diet and exercise with anyone. I get tired of people saying to me "You aren't fat. You don't need to lose anymore weight". Mainly my family members and the in-laws. I love these people that are always saying that they hardly eat anything and can't understand why they can't lose weight. I just keep my mouth shut now.

Kimbra
 
I too keep my mouth shut ,but my kids tell LOL .Its actually kinda personal for me .You guys are the only ones that understand what I'm trying to achieve . Most people don't and won't get it .I'm so glad I have you guys .:) If someone knows I "STILL WORKOUT " I get the "You don't have to do that you lost the wieght,get on with your life"Gees "They" dont get it LOL. Oh well .Plus theres still achievments to be made !!!:) :) :)
 
I'm not secretive. I'm very proud of how hard I've worked & the discipline I've developed. Why should I hide that? Because it makes other people feel guilty b/c they don't? I mean, that's where all that negativity comes from you know--it's b/c they feel bad about themselves so they want to make other people feel bad too. Misery loves company ya know.

BTW Desi, you are my new hero. :p
 
>
>All that being said, embrace your healthy self in public, in
>private and wherever else you chose. It is not healthy
>metally, for you to bury it inside as if you are
>participating in some taboo activity.
>Thoese that love and care about you will accept this as a
>positive in you, that don't...well that's on them.
>

Good for you, Desi. I still think I'm going to remain silent though.;-)

edited to say: I'm not silent about Cathe and all my DVDs though! I think people around me would love for me to shut up about her.:)

Oh, one more thing, I'm have all of you to tell my work out, diet, etc secrets to! ;-) You guys are the only ones that understand.
 
Yes, I experience it too.

I ran across a quote once and think of it every time I get "that look"...

"Obsessed" is a term lazy people use to describe DEDICATED.

Rock ON with your bad self. Keep up the work!
 
I wouldn't say I'm "secretive" about working out and eating healthy (I pretty much can't be about eating healthy, because all my co-workers see my whole-food vegan meals at work). I just don't really bring up the subject unless I'm asked (and nobody seems particularly interested!).

When I do bring up the subject, I try to make the comments short, because even my best friend's eyes start to glaze over quickly (and I'm not talking about rambling on and on about it). Maybe I'd have that reaction to somebody being enthusiastic about their collection of dolls or their interest in most sports(zzzz-where's the sleeping smilie when you need him? LOL!).

They don't get us, we don't get them. But at least we here "get" each other, so we don't have to feel like we're living on another planet where the natives have customs far different from those we have.
 
Totally. People act like I've got horns because I get up very early to workout before I go to work. Sometimes I'd love to say, I do it in the morning so I don't have to come up with an excuse about why I DON'T do it (like they do). Chalk it up to jealousy. Works for me most of the time.

:D
 
I too, keep most everything to myself. This applies to every aspect of my life though. I have noticed that the more muscle I put on the more people are interested in what I am doing. So I tell them and leave it at that. I really don't look to see if they have the "deer in the headlights" reaction and I certainly don't wait around to hear any criticism. I stay focused on my goals. Probably too focused - but I like getting results. I'll tell ya this - I am really becoming fond of this forum!
 
LauraMax, you're riding my wavelength.:) If somebody asks me about my day or my life, rest assured that exercise and the constant search for semi-clean food in restaurants (since my boys like to eat out a LOT, a big obstacle for me) gets in the conversation because these things are a big part of who I am. There was a "family friend" who saw my son sitting on the floor in a lotus position and I explained how I was teaching him self-calming techniques since apparently, he wasn't born with an innate ability to control his impulses and calm himself. I told her that my son sometimes tries to do yoga with me and I saw her eyes roll before she said dismissively, "Uh, ohhh-kaaay..." to which I simply said I exercise a lot because I didn't want to be fat, and purposely made my eyes travel down her stomach. I'm not a mean person, but I don't like how some people equate FITNESS with a sense of bubbleheadedness (i.e., a stereotypical blonde aerobics instructor) and/or that selfish and shallow quest for a "perfect" body, however that is interpreted by the person making that ass-umption. I get angry when that happens, and when I get angry, I hit exactly where it hurts.

Sorry... I'm ranting. Didn't mean to.

Pinky
 
NOBODY understands me except you guys. I think that's what was so liberating and inspiring about the Cathe Road Trip. I was around a ton of people (4 in particular!) who shared my passion and motivation for nutrition and fitness and could carry on an intelligent conversation about it. My kids don't understand, my parents don't understand, and my boyfriend certainly doesn't understand. I didn't even tell him about the Road Trip until AFTER I had booked the airline tickets! And he still didn't "get it"! Sometimes it's a little difficult to not have support from friends and family but I guess that's why I come here so often!!


Angie
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top