Anybody want a husband?
- Thread starter spyrosmom
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Beavs
Cathlete
You're kidding, right? He's not even going to try to tell you that he needs a big screen tv to watch sports or bad movies?
And Melimcm, I'd be annoyed too. To me $800.00 is a rather large lump of cash to invest in such frivilous items when a growing number of people are losing jobs.
ldy_solana
Cathlete
You're kidding, right? He's not even going to try to tell you that he needs a big screen tv to watch sports or bad movies?
And Melimcm, I'd be annoyed too. To me $800.00 is a rather large lump of cash to invest in such frivilous items when a growing number of people are losing jobs.
geesh at least my dh would watch his shows on it. but i keep telling him with viola its not smart i don't care what deal ya found! i can see your frustration, i deal with it constantly. whether its a good deal or not that is a big purchase that both parties should have discussed.
hey our dh's don't have contact on facebook games do they?LOL seems where dh gets all his "bright" ideas from LOL
kassia
I don't understand why a married couple would have totally separate accounts. That's not being a 'team' or living as a couple.
I just don't get it. I think you are more angry that he has the extra bucks to spend and you don't. If you don't have joint accounts then you cannot be angry at how he spends 'his' money. Financially you are living as two single people in one house. Guess I'm too old, I just don't get why you would want to do that other than you don't want accountability to how either one of you spends your cash.
Well...I can tell you that DH and I are pretty damn fine "team" and we have separate accounts for our own money. We both work and would find it rather demeaning for either of us to have to go to the other to ask permission to buy a pair of shoes, or a DVD, or a kettlebell.
It works for us because we both have common goals, a common attitude toward finances, and we both know what each of us needs to do to take care of all the big things in life - house, retirement, rainy day fund, etc, etc.
ldy_solana
Cathlete
i can see your point b/c i did feel that way but... dh got his own account when there was a chance he would make money off paypal from games. one it keeps my main account away from paypal and two i put some money in there for him to play with and he never has to ask me for cash or my debit card. but all other accounts have both our names but i mainly run those.
i don't do much play money for myself other then trades on VF but that is not a bank breaker really. if there is something i want i go over the bills and discuss it with him first, he usually says "whatever" b/c he knows i get the bills under control when the paychecks come in. as long as he gets his "allowence" we are good LOL.
kassia
spyrosmom
Cathlete
We've been married 10 yrs, and have always had separate accts. He pays the mtg/phone/satellite/his car/his car ins/his credit card/life ins/homeowners ins. I pay my car/my car ins/my credit card/groceries.
He makes more money than me. We both toss into savings, and whatever is left is ours to spend. It works for us. The only thing we own together is the house. My car is mine and his is his. We don't have joint credit cards. It keeps the finanicial fights down. I clearly can recall my mom flipping out when my dad forgot to write a check down in the check book. We don't have the issue. I'm not really flying off the handle angry mad, just irked a bit
Bizybee
Active Member
You should kick his a$$, Cathe-style!
Seriously though, yeah I'd be pissed too. I mean, I will occasionally buy a couple of DVDs and tell DH afterwards but anything THAT expensive should really have been discussed 1st.
And to violate the sacredness of your exercise room? Man, I'd be mad.
He probably just got it and didn't want to hear your "no"!
Sorry about that...good deal on a 42" though.
Seriously though, yeah I'd be pissed too. I mean, I will occasionally buy a couple of DVDs and tell DH afterwards but anything THAT expensive should really have been discussed 1st.
And to violate the sacredness of your exercise room? Man, I'd be mad.
He probably just got it and didn't want to hear your "no"!
Sorry about that...good deal on a 42" though.
meowracer
Cathlete
If you want to feel better...one of my dearest friends found out her husband had been buying stuff nonstop and had rented a STORAGE UNIT to store it, and hide from her!!! It was stuff that they did not even need or really have use for. Pretty much put them in the poor house for a while. Still, I understand that you must be pretty darned upset yourself. If he had thought that it wouldn't be a problem, he would have just told you about it when he bought it rather than having you come home to find it there and installed! MEN (Gee, I'm so glad that we are all so perfect, of course!)
(Gee, I'm so glad that we are all so perfect, of course!)
CollinsMom
Cathlete
Just wanted to chime in to say... #1, I don't think there is anything wrong with separate accounts and #2, I can see why -- even with separate accounts -- this major purchase would throw you for a loop.
My DH does this too, but with cars. CARS!!
He is a mechanic and often people would rather junk there car than shell out the thousands to fix it. I can't tell you how many times he has come home to tell me he bought another car that day. To his credit, he fixes them and sells them and it benefits the family. The other day he bought a 1995 Toyota truck fir $80
My DH does this too, but with cars. CARS!!
He is a mechanic and often people would rather junk there car than shell out the thousands to fix it. I can't tell you how many times he has come home to tell me he bought another car that day. To his credit, he fixes them and sells them and it benefits the family. The other day he bought a 1995 Toyota truck fir $80
LaughingWater
Cathlete
Wow! (need a hugely shocked smiley here)
Well, you've officially cured me of giving my husband trouble the next time he buys a guitar. I can't imagine what your friend must have thought when she discovered the storage unit.
hottiescientist
Cathlete
As a techie geek, part of me has to admit that it would almost pain me to have an HD tv and to play on an XBox in non-HD. The techie geek part of me finds it to be a waste of the technology. But techie geek here. (and a hardcore gamer)
It sounds like you're upset because he spent a lot of money on something that you think is not just unnecessary, but wasteful. And in that respect, that's just not cool because when you're a partnership and you're spending that much $$$, both parties should be ok with how the moolah gets spent.
I'm lucky I guess because I handle anything and everything financial in our home (I invest, I save, I spend, etc...my father likes to joke that there's not a penny that I don't know about that goes in and out of my home) and my husband trusts me completely and he doesn't trust himself. And everything we have is joint -- none of this his or mine stuff, only ours. But we still talk about big (like TVs) and even small (like 2.99 DVDs) purchases and make sure that both of us are ok. And if we're REALLY not cool with something that the other bought, and we return it. And if we can't return it and there may be a question in the air, we don't get it. Period. But it probably helps that we tend to like/want the same things so we don't have too many disagreements.
I do like the "digs" you made though!
It sounds like you're upset because he spent a lot of money on something that you think is not just unnecessary, but wasteful. And in that respect, that's just not cool because when you're a partnership and you're spending that much $$$, both parties should be ok with how the moolah gets spent.
I'm lucky I guess because I handle anything and everything financial in our home (I invest, I save, I spend, etc...my father likes to joke that there's not a penny that I don't know about that goes in and out of my home) and my husband trusts me completely and he doesn't trust himself. And everything we have is joint -- none of this his or mine stuff, only ours. But we still talk about big (like TVs) and even small (like 2.99 DVDs) purchases and make sure that both of us are ok. And if we're REALLY not cool with something that the other bought, and we return it. And if we can't return it and there may be a question in the air, we don't get it. Period. But it probably helps that we tend to like/want the same things so we don't have too many disagreements.
I do like the "digs" you made though!
steppin out
Cathlete
OK. I felt the need to mention the separate account thing again. My husband and I have separate accounts - a joint account (which I don't use, but could) and "my" account. We didn't combine our accounts when we got married 16 years ago because my husband doesn't write down his withdrawals and I feel the need to know exactly how much money is in an account before I write a check. So, we kept things separate. He pays certain bills, I pay others. I also write him checks when I have extra money in "my" account! This is not a "team" issue. Money seems to be something a lot of people fight about. If people are able to be comfortable with their money situation they will not fight about it. My husband and I have NEVER had a fight over money! So, what works for some may not work for others, but please don't judge the others just because it isn't what you do.
Sherry
Sherry
netsnotes16
Cathlete
Nan, are you sure your husbands were not seperated at birth! Mine got 50 inch TV. Granted we needed a new TV but not a 50 inch! To tell you the truth is waaaay over the top, I guess because he is short, he is making up the height. I can't really see to workout, and ya think with a 50 inch I would be able too! MEN!
sparrow13
Cathlete
Sherry, ITA with your comment about money fights. DH and I have everything joint. He makes most of the money and I handle it. We are both so completely on the same page regarding financial matters that we never fight about money. Nor do we need to get permission from each other for purchases. If it's something relatively small we just get it. If it's a big purchase (snow blower, elliptical) we talk about it before hand and decide together if it is something we can afford and/or really need. I don't think it matters whether you do things joint or separately, it matters that you have the same financial outlook.
Sparrow
Sparrow