This is pretty common. My OB said vaginal deliveries in general are tough on the bladder. Getting older and going through perimenopause doesn't help.
My sister had the surgery Laura mentioned, and she's thrilled with the results.
I'm not ready for surgery at this point, but I DO have to cross my legs when I sneeze.
Jumping and running are a problem only when I haven't done that kind of activity for a while. Once I get into it again, the muscles involved start to whip back into some kind of shape, and I don't have as much of a problem. It's not perfect, but it gets better.
This is going to sound weird, but learning to jump rope helped. I certainly wasn't expecting it to, and when I first started learning, it seemed like the WORST idea. Let's just say not wearing a pad wasn't an option.
But as time went on, I noticed the situation got better and better, and I eventually didn't need a pad at all.
Here's the clincher: When I stop jumping rope with any kind of regularity, the leaking gets worse again. When I reintroduce jumping rope, it gets better.