For those people who currently are, or used-to-be binge eaters, how did you cope? I am recovering from an episode that lasted a few months and I feel terrible! I want me and my body back. I miss myself. It is so hard to look at myself in the mirror and feel such self hatred and frustration. How did you used-to-be bingers stay strong? I feel as if I'm encountering a breaking point, but I don't want to go back to the way I used to be. Please if you have any help post something.
any binge eaters out there?
- Thread starter Liz556
- Start date
allwildgirl
Cathlete
Hi there!
Coincidentally enough, I posted a very similar thread and question this week. Here's a link to the thread. Lots of women had some great responses.
I'm not a used-to-be binger. I still fight with it almost every day. I'm not sure it's anything you ever truly get over. It always seems to kind of lurk there in the background, you know?
I'm sending strong positive thoughts to help you through this and to let you know that you CAN do it. One of the best ideas I got was to go through the whole process in your head, from start to finish and think about how you felt and how you felt after it was over. Ask yourself if you want to feel like that again
http://69.0.137.118/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=287490&mesg_id=287490&page=4
Coincidentally enough, I posted a very similar thread and question this week. Here's a link to the thread. Lots of women had some great responses.
I'm not a used-to-be binger. I still fight with it almost every day. I'm not sure it's anything you ever truly get over. It always seems to kind of lurk there in the background, you know?
I'm sending strong positive thoughts to help you through this and to let you know that you CAN do it. One of the best ideas I got was to go through the whole process in your head, from start to finish and think about how you felt and how you felt after it was over. Ask yourself if you want to feel like that again
http://69.0.137.118/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=287490&mesg_id=287490&page=4
Hi Liz,
I used to be bulimic, but when I stopped purging, I kept bingeing. I don't binge like I used to, but I definitely overeat sometimes. It's a battle within my head. When I feel like bingeing, I try to think about why I really want to do it, because there is usually something emotional going on that I want relief from. Sometimes, I'll exercise instead or just take a nap and hope the feeling passes. I too beat myself up if it happens. You can't be down on yourself, though. Focus on progress, and keep trying to actively talk yourself out of it when the feeling comes on.
Thanks, Shelley, for posting the link to that thread.
I used to be bulimic, but when I stopped purging, I kept bingeing. I don't binge like I used to, but I definitely overeat sometimes. It's a battle within my head. When I feel like bingeing, I try to think about why I really want to do it, because there is usually something emotional going on that I want relief from. Sometimes, I'll exercise instead or just take a nap and hope the feeling passes. I too beat myself up if it happens. You can't be down on yourself, though. Focus on progress, and keep trying to actively talk yourself out of it when the feeling comes on.
Thanks, Shelley, for posting the link to that thread.
singinggoddess
Cathlete
Liz,
I am so tired of the rollercoaster effect of the binge eating. I struggle with this every single day of my life. My jeans can be loose one day and literally the next day I can't get them fastened. I am so tired of the way I feel after one of these binges. I find that if I remember that feeling and how I will hate myself in the morning after a binge, I can walk away. But, there are those days for some reason that I want to eat anything in sight. I think it is something that is just a part of my day and I have just learned to really try to respect myself and love myself a lot more. I used to exercise 2-3 hours a day and binge every single day for years. My body got beat up and I just got tired of food taking over my life. I don't know if I will ever feel normal about food, but I sure try to avoid the situations that trigger binges, like buying anything that I know I won't be able to stop eating. I wish I had a better answer or had words of wisdom, but I think this is just a part of many of the people on this forums day. Shelly's post really makes you feel that we are not alone in this and this forum is so filled with many warmhearted and wise loving gals. I guess we all just take it one day at a time and the good days we can just remember how it feels to be in control of our life.
Susan
I am so tired of the rollercoaster effect of the binge eating. I struggle with this every single day of my life. My jeans can be loose one day and literally the next day I can't get them fastened. I am so tired of the way I feel after one of these binges. I find that if I remember that feeling and how I will hate myself in the morning after a binge, I can walk away. But, there are those days for some reason that I want to eat anything in sight. I think it is something that is just a part of my day and I have just learned to really try to respect myself and love myself a lot more. I used to exercise 2-3 hours a day and binge every single day for years. My body got beat up and I just got tired of food taking over my life. I don't know if I will ever feel normal about food, but I sure try to avoid the situations that trigger binges, like buying anything that I know I won't be able to stop eating. I wish I had a better answer or had words of wisdom, but I think this is just a part of many of the people on this forums day. Shelly's post really makes you feel that we are not alone in this and this forum is so filled with many warmhearted and wise loving gals. I guess we all just take it one day at a time and the good days we can just remember how it feels to be in control of our life.
Susan
nancy324
Cathlete
Liz,
I still struggle with going to extremes, but not as much as I did when I was younger. One thing I have learned over the years is that my binging is caused by denying myself things I want. The less I deny myself, the less I binge. In my younger days I used to strive for a kind of perfection. For example, I might decide that I was only going to have 1200 calories one day, but then the next day I would binge and consume 4000 calories. I had to learn that neither extreme worked for me. I had to learn how to STOP counting calories and listen to my body and eat when I was hungry. The more I was able to do this, the less I binged. Although I still struggle with these issues, I am happy to report that my extremes are a lot less extreme than they used to be, and I am learning to achieve that elusive thing my mother used to talk about called "moderation".
Look at your bingeing behavior and ask yourself whether it was preceded by some kind of self-denial. If it was, you will see that denying yourself is back-firing and you need to start to listen to your body and your real appetite for food. I suggest just tuning into your appetite, trusting yourself and letting yourself go. At first you may eat a lot of junk food, but eventually you'll tire of it and start to crave the nourishing foods that your body really needs.
Hope this makes some sense,
Nancy
I still struggle with going to extremes, but not as much as I did when I was younger. One thing I have learned over the years is that my binging is caused by denying myself things I want. The less I deny myself, the less I binge. In my younger days I used to strive for a kind of perfection. For example, I might decide that I was only going to have 1200 calories one day, but then the next day I would binge and consume 4000 calories. I had to learn that neither extreme worked for me. I had to learn how to STOP counting calories and listen to my body and eat when I was hungry. The more I was able to do this, the less I binged. Although I still struggle with these issues, I am happy to report that my extremes are a lot less extreme than they used to be, and I am learning to achieve that elusive thing my mother used to talk about called "moderation".
Look at your bingeing behavior and ask yourself whether it was preceded by some kind of self-denial. If it was, you will see that denying yourself is back-firing and you need to start to listen to your body and your real appetite for food. I suggest just tuning into your appetite, trusting yourself and letting yourself go. At first you may eat a lot of junk food, but eventually you'll tire of it and start to crave the nourishing foods that your body really needs.
Hope this makes some sense,
Nancy
I, too, constantly struggle with binge eating and once weighed 300+ because of it (although I've lost and maintained a reasonable weight for six years now). I agree with Nancy that it's probably related to perfectionism. I was anorexic as a pre-teen/teen and have always struggled with food issues. In my case, if I can't handle the day "perfectly," then the whole day is blown, and I eat everything in sight in hopes of "getting it out of my system." Of course I plan to start fresh and behave perfectly the next day.
Needless to say, this plan most definitely does NOT work! However, I do have the binge eating under control, except for the occasional slip, although I honestly can't tell you how or why, but I'll try.
These days, my binges are, for the most part, planned binges -- on specific days and for for specific reasons (like a birthday or Christmas). For some reason, when the binges are planned in advance, I don't lose control and am actually relieved to get right back to planned eating the very next day. I know, I'm a freak.
I guess one thing that helps is food journaling. Fitday and Nutridiary both have free programs you can use. I use physiquetransformation.com, but there is a monthly charge for it. Having a day's food planned in advance and following that plan lends itself to my obsessive/compulsive desire to do things perfectly.
It's not enough for me to simply plan to eat a "reasonable" serving of food. To me, reasonable is "all of it." It seems reasonable to me to stop when the food is gone. And I honestly don't have a sensor for "full." I never, ever feel pleasantly full. To me, full is when I'm so sick I can't possibly cram in another mouthful. So my answer to that is having an exact portion planned and executed, which allows me to judge reasonable portion sizes and being full from the perspective of someone who understands those things.
Daily exercise also helps, too, of course. I hate to completely blow a day after exercising so hard. (Exercise is NOT something I love! I love how I feel afterward. I love the results. And there are some forms of exercise that I hate less than others, but for the most part, I'd rather sit in the recliner and read a book.)
Needless to say, this plan most definitely does NOT work! However, I do have the binge eating under control, except for the occasional slip, although I honestly can't tell you how or why, but I'll try.
These days, my binges are, for the most part, planned binges -- on specific days and for for specific reasons (like a birthday or Christmas). For some reason, when the binges are planned in advance, I don't lose control and am actually relieved to get right back to planned eating the very next day. I know, I'm a freak.
I guess one thing that helps is food journaling. Fitday and Nutridiary both have free programs you can use. I use physiquetransformation.com, but there is a monthly charge for it. Having a day's food planned in advance and following that plan lends itself to my obsessive/compulsive desire to do things perfectly.
It's not enough for me to simply plan to eat a "reasonable" serving of food. To me, reasonable is "all of it." It seems reasonable to me to stop when the food is gone. And I honestly don't have a sensor for "full." I never, ever feel pleasantly full. To me, full is when I'm so sick I can't possibly cram in another mouthful. So my answer to that is having an exact portion planned and executed, which allows me to judge reasonable portion sizes and being full from the perspective of someone who understands those things.
Daily exercise also helps, too, of course. I hate to completely blow a day after exercising so hard. (Exercise is NOT something I love! I love how I feel afterward. I love the results. And there are some forms of exercise that I hate less than others, but for the most part, I'd rather sit in the recliner and read a book.)
acatalina
Cathlete
There was an article in the paper about french women.
French women are not fat.
They eat pastries and tea time all the time.
They sit down and savor their food.
They eat everything in moderation.
They love good food and take their time and enjoy every bite.
They only eat till they feel full.
They eat all day long..............
I think our problem is we lead such hectic lives and eat on the go alot, so we really don't enjoy food .
We worry about it too much.....
I think at times we think we need a big plate full or we should still be hungry..
Maybe we need to slow down and smell the roses.
Enjoy the better things in life and not worry about eating a cookie.
Just don't eat a bag of them.
Does this make sense?
Anne
http://www.picturetrail.com/acatalina
French women are not fat.
They eat pastries and tea time all the time.
They sit down and savor their food.
They eat everything in moderation.
They love good food and take their time and enjoy every bite.
They only eat till they feel full.
They eat all day long..............
I think our problem is we lead such hectic lives and eat on the go alot, so we really don't enjoy food .
We worry about it too much.....
I think at times we think we need a big plate full or we should still be hungry..
Maybe we need to slow down and smell the roses.
Enjoy the better things in life and not worry about eating a cookie.
Just don't eat a bag of them.
Does this make sense?
Anne
http://www.picturetrail.com/acatalina
Thanks for your help everyone. I have come to realize that as badly as I want it, I will never have the perfect body, no one will. I am an all or nothing person and this is something I have had to stuggle with for some time now. Thanks for your support. I am going to print off this thread and carry it with me at all times so the next time I feel tempted to binge, I will just read what all of you wonderful ladies wrote to me!
Liz
Liz
newswoman13
Cathlete
Hi, Liz! You've written to the write people! Lots of support here, and lots of ppl who've dealt with disordered eating and healed (or who are healing like myself!).
One thing you mentioned that stuck with me was "I miss myself." Yess!!!!!! Claim her, claim your power, claim your excitement for life, let go of the black/white thinking, don't be afraid to make a mistake, work on boundaries with others, and fill your life with exciting things besides food!
Another thing, it's helped me to see a therapist regularly. Mine actually focuses on eating disorders with movement therapy. It's so easy for us to push push push through exercise, but sometimes we lose that sense of self and sense of body. Get back in touch, be gentle, take time. I promise the payoff will come....slowly but in a real way that stays.
I can recommend lots of books: It was Food v. Me and I Won by Nancy Goodman (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/067003312X/002-4781174-4949653?v=glance&n=283155) -- also Sensing the Self by Sheila Reindl (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0674010116/002-4781174-4949653?v=glance&n=283155)
P.S., Nancy Goodman has a great support site if you're interested in joining or lurking. Supportive, wise women who've been there. Stay true to you, and warm wishes!
;-)
One thing you mentioned that stuck with me was "I miss myself." Yess!!!!!! Claim her, claim your power, claim your excitement for life, let go of the black/white thinking, don't be afraid to make a mistake, work on boundaries with others, and fill your life with exciting things besides food!
Another thing, it's helped me to see a therapist regularly. Mine actually focuses on eating disorders with movement therapy. It's so easy for us to push push push through exercise, but sometimes we lose that sense of self and sense of body. Get back in touch, be gentle, take time. I promise the payoff will come....slowly but in a real way that stays.
I can recommend lots of books: It was Food v. Me and I Won by Nancy Goodman (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/067003312X/002-4781174-4949653?v=glance&n=283155) -- also Sensing the Self by Sheila Reindl (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0674010116/002-4781174-4949653?v=glance&n=283155)
P.S., Nancy Goodman has a great support site if you're interested in joining or lurking. Supportive, wise women who've been there. Stay true to you, and warm wishes!
;-)
banslug
Cathlete
Hi, Liz. As you can already see, you've got LOTS of support, encouragement, and company! Feel good about that. That means you are not alone and that others deal with the same issues as you.
I fall off the wagon more often than I'd like to admit, but I seem to have gotten a handle on it the last several months. For me, it helps to stay organized in ALL aspects of my life. Believe it or not, if my laundry even gets to be piling up too high, I start to feel the urge to binge BIG TIME. If my paperwork from my kids' schools is piling up or if my bills are getting paid late, that urge to binge returns. It's very wierd how no-food issues result in a food binge.
I've gotten my life under MY control once again and that helps me tremendously.
The one thing (that's new to me) that I've been using the last few months is something a few ladies have already suggested....imagine the entire situation from beginning to end and imagine and REMEMBER how that feels and how AWFUL it truly is to do that. You know you don't want to go back there, so it's harder to voluntarily do it when you remember how it makes you feel.
Again, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Asking for help is one important way to battle it.
Take care of YOU!
Gayle
I fall off the wagon more often than I'd like to admit, but I seem to have gotten a handle on it the last several months. For me, it helps to stay organized in ALL aspects of my life. Believe it or not, if my laundry even gets to be piling up too high, I start to feel the urge to binge BIG TIME. If my paperwork from my kids' schools is piling up or if my bills are getting paid late, that urge to binge returns. It's very wierd how no-food issues result in a food binge.
I've gotten my life under MY control once again and that helps me tremendously.
The one thing (that's new to me) that I've been using the last few months is something a few ladies have already suggested....imagine the entire situation from beginning to end and imagine and REMEMBER how that feels and how AWFUL it truly is to do that. You know you don't want to go back there, so it's harder to voluntarily do it when you remember how it makes you feel.
Again, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Asking for help is one important way to battle it.
Take care of YOU!
Gayle
>For me, it helps to stay organized in ALL aspects of my life.
>Believe it or not, if my laundry even gets to be piling up too
>high, I start to feel the urge to binge BIG TIME. If my
>paperwork from my kids' schools is piling up or if my bills
>are getting paid late, that urge to binge returns. It's very
>wierd how no-food issues result in a food binge.
>
>I've gotten my life under MY control once again and that helps
>me tremendously.
So true, Gayle! When any aspect of life is hectic, the stress builds very quickly, leading to the urge to binge. Slowing down and simplifying are a huge help!
Shari
>Believe it or not, if my laundry even gets to be piling up too
>high, I start to feel the urge to binge BIG TIME. If my
>paperwork from my kids' schools is piling up or if my bills
>are getting paid late, that urge to binge returns. It's very
>wierd how no-food issues result in a food binge.
>
>I've gotten my life under MY control once again and that helps
>me tremendously.
So true, Gayle! When any aspect of life is hectic, the stress builds very quickly, leading to the urge to binge. Slowing down and simplifying are a huge help!
Shari
hokypoky
Cathlete
Hi Liz! You're not alone, are you? I think we could make up a "wagon train" and keep each other from falling off!
I, too, see an eating-disorder therapist, and all of the suggestions here are good ones. Today was not a good day for me, so I decided to just go with it and get past it. But 6 months ago, I just couldn't stop day after day. You might take these suggestions and see if one of them hits home with you.
For instance, I've been struggling to keep up with everything lately, like Gayle mentioned. Once I get my house, etc. in order I know I'll feel much better. (I'm almost there.)
What really sets me off is holding in emotion. When I really binge, I usually can stop, look inside my head, and hear a little voice nagging at me. Sometimes it might just be DH saying, "Oh great, stir fry?" And I get upset because I like it and I made it. The thing is not to let that go but to address the feeling and get it out there. I always used to wonder why my eating was more on track after DH and I had a fight then made up. Usually there was crying involved and I released all those bottled up emotions. The next day, with no clouded head, I always made good choices.
I am amazed that I've been seeing a therapist for 5 months and I can totally get a handle on things. I used to feel so desperate and alone. Now when I have a bad day, I know I can get through it and it won't necessarily lead to a month of bingeing.
You can get through this! We're here for you!
I, too, see an eating-disorder therapist, and all of the suggestions here are good ones. Today was not a good day for me, so I decided to just go with it and get past it. But 6 months ago, I just couldn't stop day after day. You might take these suggestions and see if one of them hits home with you.
For instance, I've been struggling to keep up with everything lately, like Gayle mentioned. Once I get my house, etc. in order I know I'll feel much better. (I'm almost there.)
What really sets me off is holding in emotion. When I really binge, I usually can stop, look inside my head, and hear a little voice nagging at me. Sometimes it might just be DH saying, "Oh great, stir fry?" And I get upset because I like it and I made it. The thing is not to let that go but to address the feeling and get it out there. I always used to wonder why my eating was more on track after DH and I had a fight then made up. Usually there was crying involved and I released all those bottled up emotions. The next day, with no clouded head, I always made good choices.
I am amazed that I've been seeing a therapist for 5 months and I can totally get a handle on things. I used to feel so desperate and alone. Now when I have a bad day, I know I can get through it and it won't necessarily lead to a month of bingeing.
You can get through this! We're here for you!
lesliemarie
Cathlete
I am an anoroxic and battle with bulemia now and then, I to have binges and the self hatred when I do do that, When I am this way I know it is only because I am hiding the pain inside, I do know when i am ready to face that pain I know I can deal with the binges and the starving. well that is how it is for me, I do know that when I can deal with that pain and face the anger inside that I have NOT faced yet, I know I can soon deal with binge eating and starving. I also know there is never letting it go, that ghost will be inside forever and have to fight it forever.
Thou I succeed at loosing 140 lbs,,, my binges hasnt gone away at all,,, now my biggest challenge ever is to keep the weight off,,, it is soooooo hard,,,, loosing ...piece of cake,,, I am the queen of getting rid of pounds,, but keeping the off,,, I am a complete looser,,, and I dont say this putting me down but after reading so many books about binging, nutrition, addicction to food, etc etc etc, I find out that my reality is: my body is used to or gaining or loosing but not steady,,, so I am always 2 weeks away or near my dream weight,,, I can be 2 weeks away from 4 lbs less or 2 weeks 4 more pounds,,, and that has become my reality,,, what triggers this,,, at 48 years old, could be hormones,,, stress,,, issues from the past,, quimical inbalance,,, one thing I know,, I dont like to gain and I do not want to be overweigth ever again,, but for me I have to pay a price,,, a constant watching what I eat,, sometimes I am tired of it,, sometimes I like it,,, sometimes I feel in control sometimes I am out of control fallling apart,,,it is part of me, everyday with the same thing,,, I can't take away this obsesion from me,, I want to be normal,, but what is normal? food is a big part of my life, I am not eating bad stuff,,, I over eat good quality food during my binges,,, my binges is about stuffing my mouth, thou I can over eat fruits and veggies and whole grains,, I find myself going to the health food store 2 times a day, it drives me crazy,,, when it is time to go to bed I have to face my demonds,,, my complains, my regreats, my ####!!!! Binges are no fun,,, yet feels good to eat. I would like to be a person who food is not a big deal, but it is. right now I am in my binge days,,, 3 weeks ago I was wearing my fav. jeans,, today I can't zipper it,,, 3 weeks of binge that thrift me away from a 2 lbs less,,, now intead of wearing my jean jacket, perfect for this weather, I am wearing a big raincoat. to hide my bulge,, ahghhhhhj... I hate it. Wish me luck
Norma
http://www.picturetrail.com/norma48
http://www.geocities.com/norma123nyc/Mygreatjourney.html
http://www.lifetimetv.com/reallife/df/success/chavez.html
Norma
http://www.picturetrail.com/norma48
http://www.geocities.com/norma123nyc/Mygreatjourney.html
http://www.lifetimetv.com/reallife/df/success/chavez.html