Am I wrong to find this incredibly awkward?

LauraMax

LauraMax

Cathlete
OK about 1.5 weeks ago I was in the ladies' locker room in a state of half dress when a slew of women brought their sons, ages 4-5, in to change for their karate class.

So I'm not a mom & have limited exposure to children, & I must say I felt incredibly uncomfortable. Wouldn't have bothered me much if they were, say, 2 years old, but the 4-5 YO boys really freaked me out. You just can't convince me they don't know what they're seeing.

As far as I'm concerned, the ladies' locker room should be a p*nis free zone where ALL women should feel comfortable ummmmm, letting it all hang out so to speak. I was not comfortable. Frankly most of these women don't work (THESE are the bored, rich housewives referred to in another post) & I don't understand why their kids aren't changing at home.

Also, I wonder how a man would feel if another man brought his 5 YO daughter into the mens' locker room? Pretty freaky I'd bet.........

I left a comment card requesting there be an age limit (2 years) on boys allowed in the ladies' locker room. It appears that has been ignored b/c it happened again last week. What should I do?
 
This would make me uncomfortable too. My gym has a policy that women who bring their sons to the gym MUST use the family locker rooms and cannot bring them into the women's locker rooms. Does your gym have a family locker room?
 
I'm with you on this one! There is a lady I'm friendly with at Tae Kwon Do and she has a 5 or 6 year old son that I adore. She brings him into our changing room and I'm very uncomfortable changing with him there. I will normally go into the bathroom stall to change, just in case they come in while I'm changing my bra. He's old enough to use the men's room. Everyone knows everyone there, so it's not like he'd be in a dangerous situation. Besides the fact that the place is flowing with black belts...if anyone messed with anyone, they'd be in a load of trouble!

Suggest to the management that they have a "family" changing room. They have one at the Y, where my daughter takes swim. When my husband takes her for lessons, she changes in there.

I don't think too many men would take their little girls into the men's locker room. I could be wrong...but when my daughter was 4, she saw my husband naked and had a comment. That's the sign that some discretion is necessary.
 
This is what I'm thinking. My gym is teeny tiny--it's really just one large room w/a bunch of equipment crammed into it & two studios (yoga & karate) off to the side. There is no family locker room but they did manage to find room for a daycare. I'm wondering if the moms could just take their kids into the daycare to change? There are also a couple closets that might be convertable but having never been in there I have no idea how big they are.

Whew I'm glad I'm not coming off as some horrid witch here. It just make me feel very uncomfortable & I'm paying a fortune for this place--seriously, over $100 per month after our delightful governor's decision to tax health club memberships.

But that's for another thread altogether.......}(
 
Laura- Like you said, I honestly wouldn't mind if the boys were under 2 yrs old, but 5 yrs! That's the age where they start noticing things and that's too old to be in the ladies locker room! No, you aren't being a horrid witch about it, but I would definitely say something to the manager because if it's making you uncomfortable, then chances are it's making others uncomfortable as well!
 
I would be uncomfortable too and I am a Mom. If the gym cannot supply a suitable place for the boys to change maybe the parents should stop by McDonalds or something to change in the restroom.

PS My daughter has been a dancer since she was 4 and there have been more than one occasion where she had to change in the car!
 
That's just crazy! I am the mother of an almost 2 year old and I *ALREADY* curb the changing in front of him as much as I can. I will certainly not be doing it when he's 5 years old!!!

COMPLAIN!!!!!!!!!!}(
 
I am torn with this one.
I have a son who is 7 almost 8. Maybe I have been watching too many Dateline to catch a predator's. But, it's really hard to send the son's off into the bathroom alone and hope they come out the same person we send them in as. I struggle with this when it is just my son and I at Target and he wants to go in the men's room alone. All I can picture is being on the Today show the next day looking for my kid or months later trying to figure out why "he's not the same old Kyle anymore?". I just don't want to be the "what was she thinking?" Mom. It is probably why that woman does what she does. It's no the same as when we were little.

Which is why you should lobby for the gym to get a family changing room. Or two!
 
If some gym member has a son 4-5 years old she should have him dressed for the class before they come. Either that or have Dad bring him and have him change in the men's locker room. No exceptions, no discussions, the end, period.
 
>I am torn with this one.
>I have a son who is 7 almost 8. Maybe I have been watching
>too many Dateline to catch a predator's. But, it's really
>hard to send the son's off into the bathroom alone and hope
>they come out the same person we send them in as. I struggle
>with this when it is just my son and I at Target and he wants
>to go in the men's room alone. All I can picture is being on
>the Today show the next day looking for my kid or months later
>trying to figure out why "he's not the same old Kyle
>anymore?". I just don't want to be the "what was she
>thinking?" Mom. It is probably why that woman does what she
>does. It's no the same as when we were little.
>
>Which is why you should lobby for the gym to get a family
>changing room. Or two!

Your point is very well taken and well said! I, for one, totally understand where you are coming from and this is definately one of THE BIGGEST reasons why if kids will be taking classes there that they should have a locker room that is meant for them! Good post!
 
I thought that is why there are dark tainted windows on the backs of minivans!

Fairly new to Cathe (been reading for a while) but have to chime in.

I have two boys (9 and 5) and I would never take them into a ladies locker room not knowing what they might see, to make everyone uncomfortable. We've spent many days changing (amongst other things) in the back of the van.

In general, most kids are not embarressed to stand in front of each other in their underwear, is it possible to change in the room they are having their class in? Can they section off a small area in the room or somewhere just so the kids can change? Even if it is with some type of curtain.

Its almost hard to come up with suggestions because we would still probably change in the van, nothing gets lost or left behind!

The reality is if it was the other way around (dads taking daughters into mens locker rooms) most moms would be in an uproar about it and a change would take place immediately. The old double standard.

Good luck Lauramax, let us know what happens.

Diane
 
>The reality is if it was the other way around (dads taking
>daughters into mens locker rooms) most moms would be in an
>uproar about it and a change would take place immediately.
>The old double standard.
>
>Good luck Lauramax, let us know what happens.
>
>Diane


Lol! Isn't that the truth! At my gym, many women (not me) run around completely butt naked in the locker room. Sometimes I walk in to find a woman standing right by the door blow drying her hair in the buff - ewe. Definitely not the place for a 4+ age boy. And a 7 or 8 year boy??? NO WAY! Unless you want them getting QUITE the education! Plus, I do not want to turn around someday while putting my bra on and see some 4 - 8 year old boy starring at me - double ewe. I would definitely talk to the manager Laura if this keeps happening. You're not alone - it would really tick me off! ;)
 
Well, I may be the minority here, but as a Mom, I wouldn't send my 5-year-old by themselves to the men's locker room! Too many weird people out there! And I am not going to take a chance that something happens to my kid because someone feels a 4 or 5-year-old boy shouldn't be in the woman's locker room.

I don't know, I may be naive here, but I don't think a 4 or 5-year-old looks at a woman in a "sexual" way, or "scans" a woman's breast or other body parts.

On the other hand I do understand and want to honor that some people don't feel comfortable changing their clothes with a child of the opposite sex around.

However, it is something that the management of the gym needs to address, and either set up the rules or have a designated area for children to change. You pay good money there, go to the manager and explain it to him/her!

I am glad we have family lockerrooms at the gym we go to, otherwise I could never taken my kids to the gym. Our gym has a pool and the kids will need to change out of their wet clothes before we leave.

However, I do not understand why those women can't put the karate clothes on their kids before they leave home. It's not that they NEED to change in there.

My 2 cents, for what it's worth!

Carola
 
Carola - I was thinking the same thing about having the boys change at home. Though, I was thinking maybe the mom takes them in there when she changes and doesn't want to leave them in the hall.

I truly understand your concern about sending them to the locker room by themselves. There are some places I'd allow it (our tae kwon do school) and others...no way. I wouldn't do it at the Y.

The management definitely need to quit ignoring it.
 
As a parent, you really need to do what makes you and the others around most comfortable.

As I stated, I wouldn't let my boys change where naked women might be (for his sake and the ladies) but I definetly would NOT let them go in by themself to change in the mens locker room! My 5yr old may not look at women in a sexual way but he is observant and I guess I would really like to avoid any questions, comments or comparisons he may address in the middle of the locker room!

Our local high school offers swimming lessons with only mens or ladies locker rooms. They have a policy that only children 5 and under can go into the opposite sex locker room. (in this case there are no naked adults, only kids) For this reason I will only do lessons in the summer so there is no need to change in and out of a bathing suit, we do it at home.

The class at Laura's gym may be immediately after school so there is no time for kids to go home and change (we would probably choose another class) but the gym definitely needs to step up and address the issue.

Diane
 
Oh Laura,


I can completely understand! I have a 5 yr. old son and I take him for swim lessons at a local aquatic center. Now I do dress him at home before class, but afterwards I need to get him showered and out of his wet clothes, especially in the winter. I feel horrible about bringing him into the ladies locker room, but I don't feel good about sending him into the mens locker room by himself, especially since it has two exits, I can't watch both. But on the other hand, I can tell you that he does not get the idea that there is anything special about intimate body parts and does totally ignore the women in there. All he wants to do is play with the other kids. By the way, I am changing in there too because I go in the pool with my DS, but do not allow to see me at home.

These lessons don't resume until fall now, but then I will talk to the center about other options or like it or not his dad may have to come.

Linda
 
OK I am totally with you on not sending the kids into the mens' room alone. I'm not a mom but if I was one I wouldn't want to do it either.

Yeah there's gotta be a place for these kids without having them intrude on the ladies' room. I'm pretty new at this place & don't want to be pegged as a troublemaker right off the bat, but if it continues I will definitely make some noise.

BTW, FWIW, I was there at about 4:45 (technically my workday hours end at 4:30 but the only time I stick strictly to that time are my gym nights), so I doubt it was after school. My guess is it was after these moms' manicure appointments, done while their children were locked up in their Hummers with the windows up for at least an hour, so they didn't have time to get them home to change. }(
 
I have a soon to be 6 year old son. I can tell you for sure, he is interested in female parts. I think the gym should provide a room for the kids. Or, as others have said, have them change at home. Anyhow, what is the mother thinking? Melissa
 
I would take my children in a stall of the public restroom and have them change in there. Or better yet...change at home!

Sara
 
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