Am I too sensitive?

[dss62467]

No, I don't think you're too sensitive. It sounds like he has some self-esteem issues. The whole thing with complaining about your apartment seems like he was trying to get you to beg him to stay.

I don't know, I'm not really one to be a big supporter of staying with someone who irritates you, especially if you're not married. I've been trying to get free for 2 years, and I've got one that won't let go either. It's much easier to make him break his grip if you're not married.

Guys like these are a drain of energy.

 

[story1267]

I agree with govtgirl. Run, don't walk away from this one. He sounds like my X. Moments of charm interspersed with mostly anger, bitterness, martyrdom, manipulation, passive-agressive behaviors. He's just showing you the tip of the iceberg.

A good relationship should make you feel nourished down to your soul. Not necessarily every minute of every day, but most of the time.

Also try Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay.

Good luck.

 

[joycet]

You deserve to be with someone who treats you well ALL the time.. not just some of the time.

I was married to a man who was rude at times. We would have great times but I realize now there was this underlying current all the time of what is he going to say next? What is he going to pick on me about or complain about? What crap am I going to have to put up with again?!? I found myself questioning whether the problem was me...

I finally just called it quits. He didn't believe me at first. When he realized I wasn't kidding, he flipped out and there was a ton of drama for quite a while. It's hard to break up with guys like that because they come back and tell you they will change. They always go right back to being the way they were before

Oh, he was reticent about going to counseling too.... until he realized I was out of the marriage. THEN he wanted to go. It was too late at that point. I had decided to leave.

I subsequently met my DH who I am completely compatible with and who I can't even believe I was so fortunate to have met. There IS someone out there for you that will treat you the way you should be treated!

So as others have said, get away from this guy. Take some time to find out what you want and qualities are important to you in a partner. You deserve better!!

 

[Beavs]

There is nothing like being sensitive to the mood of someone who fills you with anxiety. Perhaps you can have a nervous breakdown worry about whether or not your apartment is suitable. Get yourself a dog or cat. They will share your bed and never complain and jump up and down with glee every time they see you ;-)

 

[divagirl]

Thanks again ladies.

I do believe that this relationship must go so I can build up my confidence again and learn something from it. I haven't spoken to him in over a day and am dealing with so many emotions about this. I know he will start asking me if I ever loved him and how I could do this so I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for this. I just don't feel I'm being treated right. I might be coming back for some strength from you ladies. :-(

 

[tneah]

Uh, dump him girlfriend, whatta ya kidding yourself and the rest of us? If there is one thing I understand its men, and this is a no win situation. Build up your confidence without a man in your life! Work out. eat right, get smarter, read books, get into a hobby, music, the arts, whatever floats your boat. Stop all the drama already. You will never find the right guy till your happy inside, period. That is a tall order that none of us really ever fills of course, but you can come damn close when you realize you do not need a man to validate your very existence.

 

[story1267]

I'm completely with tneah on this one. When I was divorced and single and going through a "dry spell" with no dates and no new man on the horizon I would actually date myself. May sound weird but it gave me a much different perspective.

On whatever night I didn't have the kids I would plan - just for me - a lovely evening. I made a game out of it. What would I like for dinner? What would I like to do? I look lovely tonight (frumpy sweats and all). etc. etc.

You need to practice being good to yourself so you know what it feels like, then you will recognize it when a good man comes along. And he will, when you're ready.