Am I too perfectionistic?

[toastythemosty]

No, you didn't overreact at all. I would feel the same exact way. I also clean the space where my frig sits everytime I clean. I also pull out the stove and washer/dryer too and other furnisher.

Charlotte~~

 

[maddiesmum]

I'd have reacted the same! I don't think that the criticism you have received here is at all warranted. I don't think you are seeking validation, but a sincere look into what happened so that you can adjust your reactions and expectations of your DH in the future. married life requires this: constant evaluation and adjustment. You don't want to be unfair to your DH, I can see that.

Men do not do things in the way that we do. At the same time as I would have been grateful to my hubby for cleaning the space, I would still have been annoyed that he damaged something else while doing it, after all, it's up to both of you to keep the house in repair, not just you, even if the kitchen is a traditional female domestic space.

THis is a case of what I call, when my husband has done something similar, "prepare the ground first, before you act" so that you can foresee and prevent such accidents.

My hsuband once took it upon himself to clean the walls of the living room. Great. But, he chose a cleaning solution with a high bleach content and wore his new, flat front, summer weight pants from JCrew while doing it. He didn't even think to wear old gear for cleaning. You'd never get me wearing my best clothes to clean. His pants were ruined, they now sport multiple white patches where the colour was bleached out and he no longer wears these pants to work as was intended. And yes, I was annoyed with him and told him so.

I know for a fact that my mother and sisters would have been just as cross at their husbands for doing the same silly things. So, no, I do not think this is an example of perfectionism or you being unfair to your DH "who was just trying to help". It strikes me that you are completely normal!

So, relax already!!!!!

Clare

 

[lisaannjam]

Hi Nancy,

After reading most of the posts...I would venture to say you may have the tendency to be perfectionist (like your Mom) but the KEY difference is that you question your behavior when you think you may be "overreacting" to a situation. Isn't that the most important part of it? We all overreact at times or say or do the wrong thing, but if we can look at it and ourselves and adjust our behavior..well I think that's the important part.

I think I would have felt the same way as you did when I came home. I would have been happy that DH cleaned behind the refrigerator, but I would have noticed the marks on the floor immediately. I think I would have also been upset about the floor while feeling grateful that he was just trying to help.

As you know, mistakes do happen. Maybe if your DH would have noticed what he did and pointed it out and offered a solution you possibly wouldn't have "raised your voice". Either way...I know you two are fine.

Personally, I don't think you overreacted, and I don't see this as a sign that you are like your Mom. So, enjoy that new fridge and have fun picking out that new floor!!!