All bark, no bite....

[banslug]

Why is it that those people who complain the MOST and the LOUDEST are those folks who do the LEAST?

I'm PTA President this year and I'm learning very quickly that this is the way the ball rolls. We had our first Parent Liaison Meeting this morning. It's a chance to come and chat, round-table style, and discuss whatever topics come up. One hour. And those people that kept complaining and complaining are those people who do absolutely NOTHING when it comes to our PTA events and/or school functions!

It's frustrating! And very hard to bite my tongue.

Gayle

 

[chefkate]

gayle, im the secretary for our preschool and i feel your pain! at the end of the year we have surveys for the parents to fill out. the ones who were not involved always are the whiners!

 

[buffettgirl]

Same thing happens at my church. It's very frustrating.

 

[ldy_solana]

not with PTA but with special education advisory committees. parents of special needs complain about this and that and budgets but don't bother attending public meetings to voice concerns they just demand things. its like get off your butt and WORK with the teachers and your children at home instead of just demanding the state and school pay for everything. and if there is more you need at school attend the damn meetings its only once a month!

but you have them everywhere you go. i have them at school,work,scouts,and community in general.

kassia

 

[banslug]

Yeah.....we keep seeing people expecting the school system to do this or that for their student, meanwhile the parents don't get involved and help their own child at HOME!

Today, I got a good laugh at this one mom who is blaming the Middle School for her daughter's Vitamin D deficiency. SHe said it's because the Middle School students "don't see the light of day during the school day". Ummmmmmm.....what about when they're HOME in the afternoon, or the WEEKEND? lol

Ya just gotta laugh, but sometimes it just KILLS me to keep my mouth shut!!!

Gayle

 

[NinjaMom]

OH Gayle! I know exactly how you feel.

I was a weekly volunteer at my kids elementary school and was asked to spearhead the end of the year party for the 5th graders moving onto middle school. I sent home fliers asking parents to help and come to the meetings. Only a couple people would show up so I was pretty much on my own. We took all the 5th graders to Camp Snoopy at the Mall of America and you wouldn't believe the number of parents that wanted to chaperone that had nothing to do with the planning. They didn't want to work, they just wanted to partake in the fun To make it worse, one mother, who did nothing to help, bitched me out because she did not get her very own wrist band to go on the rides. WTH!! We were chaperones!! The rides were for the kids! Good Lord...I had it. Lost my cool and told her exactly what I thought of her. Probably should have bit my tongue but it felt really good

So what is the moral of the story? That this happens everywhere and it is always the same people who work hard to make a difference while the others just complain and whine!

We are now planning the senior lockdown party for graduation and its starting all over again

JJ

 

[Vee]

Gayle,

How about politely/diplomatically making a point about contributions versus whining?

If you use a form at one of your upcoming feedback sessions you could have two columns - one for "issues" on the left and one on the right that asks the person to fill up what they have done to contribute.

Or perhaps at the next session you could have everyone talk about what they have done so far and what they would like to do this year before you open up the session for discussing issues.

If you maintain a non-judgmental tone through the exercise, you may be able to send the message across without offending anyone perhaps?

 

[banslug]

The tough part is being diplomatic yet blunt....all at the same time. Sometimes, I just take the approach I take with the students.....look at them as they complain, nod my head and say some "uh-hugh"s, and change the subject! LOL

But seriously, I just don't get it. Complain complain complain....and then when they are asked NICELY to help out by donating JUST 30 MINUTES of their time, they have all the excuses in the book. Sometimes, I just wanna say, "if I can take the President spot for an entire year, you can donate 30 minutes, for cyring out loud!"

OK.....done ranting.

Our current 'situation' is with a group of about 10 3rd & 4th grade parents who are all up in arms because we will be buying those grades a lapel pin or school penant to remember their years at this school (we'll be opening a new building next year which will house our 4th, 5th & 6th graders so our current 3/4th graders are saying goodbye to this building this year). These parents want (and are DEMANDING) we buy the students 'class shirts' which will cost us about $1200 for each class. However, we want to buy something less expensive and use the extra money for more field trips and better assemblies (which, of course, the parents complain about also).

You just can't win, can you!? Thank goodness their isn't politics in my future.

ANYWAY....sorry to ramble!

Gayle

 

[Sunshine1528]

This reminds me of people at work too.

How about not letting anyone say anything negative until they have a positive way of turning it around.

IE: Whiner: We want class shirts for all the kids.
Gayle the President: OK - then what will you do to help raise the extra $ since we have $XXX dollars to use and the shirts will cost more than that. Or, that will be fine if all parents want to contribute the additional $xx for their child's shirt.

At work we aren't allowed to bring up a problem if we don't have at least one solution. From there you can brainstorm to put all ideas that would solve the problem on the table, and then decide the best course of action.

 

[jonahnah]

Our current 'situation' is with a group of about 10 3rd & 4th grade parents who are all up in arms because we will be buying those grades a lapel pin or school penant to remember their years at this school (we'll be opening a new building next year which will house our 4th, 5th & 6th graders so our current 3/4th graders are saying goodbye to this building this year). These parents want (and are DEMANDING) we buy the students 'class shirts' which will cost us about $1200 for each class. However, we want to buy something less expensive and use the extra money for more field trips and better assemblies (which, of course, the parents complain about also).



Gayle

Hi Gayle
Ummm, my experience with kids changing schools is once they leave, they won't ever wear anything again that has the name of their old school on it. They want to identify with the new school more than remember the old one. (The parents are the reminiscent ones!) The shirts would wind up as pajama tops at best, but rags more likely. Good luck holding up against that tide!

 

[banslug]

Hi Gayle
Ummm, my experience with kids changing schools is once they leave, they won't ever wear anything again that has the name of their old school on it. They want to identify with the new school more than remember the old one. (The parents are the reminiscent ones!) The shirts would wind up as pajama tops at best, but rags more likely. Good luck holding up against that tide!

Jonahnah-that's EXACTLY my point. But like you said, the 'tide' from the parents sometimes is just unbelievable! My older son, who is now in 5th grade, won't even wear anything NOW with our elementary school's logo on it. Fortunately, the 'tide' is only a select few who complain all the time, but the PROBLEM is when those that disagree with these select few won't speak up or attend the meetings.

Thanks for indulging my complaints, guys!

Gayle

 

[jodijodi]

Hi Gayle
Ummm, my experience with kids changing schools is once they leave, they won't ever wear anything again that has the name of their old school on it. They want to identify with the new school more than remember the old one. (The parents are the reminiscent ones!) The shirts would wind up as pajama tops at best, but rags more likely. Good luck holding up against that tide!

Yep, my daughter sleeps in hers! Not worth it.