Aging Gracefully ??

W

waterlily

Cathlete
Hey All,

I'm just curious. Is there anyone out there who is scared of getting older? It may seem like a dumb question, but for me, I am just terified. I mean, what do I have to look forward to - wrinkles, sagging skin, age spots, retirement, death... There just isn't anything positive that I can see.

It may really seem dumb because you cant stop yourself from getting older. My 30th birthday is coming up in July and I just think that my life is going to go downhill from here. Are there any other persons like me out there?:-(
 
Oh yeah!!!!!
Just wait till you hit 40.
I am heading for 41 next month and it petrifies me. I cried at 30. 35 wasn't so bad. Last year I didn't want to talk about it.
I am just trying to take care of myself and eat good.
As for wrinkles and saggy skin. I am seeing it. I think i will be one to head for plastic surgery on my face.I don't want to get old or look like an old croan.
I want to grow old gracefully.
I hear you ...................
I see where you are coming from............
Anne
 
I admit it....I sometimes am. I just turned 46 last week and it hit me hard. I don't have any aches or pains (knock wood), but I am certainly not as lovely as in my 20s or 30s. I used to be able to just smile and get my way...it doesn't work that way any more. I find developing myself spiritually helps a lot. Reading great works by wonderful women (ie: Maya Angelou) can help quite a bit by putting things into perspective. As I've aged, I have found being fit and healthy is not just about how the outside of your body looks....its about how you feel inside as well. I try to embrace life and grow....it really helps with the everyday blows.:) The thirties are wonderful... truly enjoy them to the fullest. I too, will take my own advice and enjoy my fourties with gusto;)

Robin:)
 
My best girlfriend and I are always talking about this subject. We are also terrified of getting older. I am constantly looking for role models of people older than me who still look and feel teriffic. I am 31. I am a PA and work as a hospitalist in a very depressing environment where I see what aging does and swear I am going to do everything I can to take good care of myself to look and feel the best I can in my aging years. It's also hard for women I think because society accepts male aging and men are considered still hotties in their older years. Think of all the "older" male celebs. How many "older" women celebs are still considered "hotties?" I'm right with you girl and I'm scared too.
 
If all you think you have to look forward to in your mature years is wrinkles, sagging skin, age spots, retirement, death, and the like, then that is what your mature years will bring to you.

If instead what you think you have to look forward to in your mature years is wisdom, intelligence, depth of experience, accomplishment, and sounder judgment because you realize youth isn't the be all and end all of human existence, then that is what your mature years will bring to you.

At 44 I'm only hitting my prime. Do I have to be a bit more careful about lifestyle choices? Of course. But I'm making a hell of a lot more money doing work that's a hell of a lot more interesting than in my 20's or indeed my 30's; I've amassed a hell of a lot more assets; I'm a hell of a lot more interesting and useful because I've accumulated more experience in matters personal and professional, and I'm a hell of a lot less self-absorbed than I used to be. And I sure haven't hit my high note yet.

OP, the best way to age gracefully is to live a meaningful, productive life and stop worrying about things you can't change, like the passage of time. Nothing is more tiresome, and aging, than a person who is afraid of getting older.

And, just in passing, a tried and true measure for slowing the ticking clock is to exercise vigorously and frequently. But, being a Cathe customer and poster here, I'm sure you knew that.

A-Jock
 
I'm 37 this year and I have to say that I love it!! Every decade has been better than the last for me so I can only believe that my 40s and 50s will be even better. Sure, I have a few aches and pains, a few laugh lines and wrinkles but to me those are part of my history - they say "hey, this lady SHOWED UP in life. She laughed and cried and played and fought and made it through." I'm in great shape. I look better than I ever have. My husband loves me and is looking forward to growing old with me. I wouldn't be in my 20s again for all the chocolate in Switzerland!

And, I will say to, per the title of this thread, that women who fear aging are the ones who, IMO, usually do *not* age gracefully. They tend to wear too much make-up, have too much surgery, and spend too much time trying to look like they are still 16.

just one woman's opinion!!

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
I have to agree with Aquajock. I'm 46, nearly 47, and I am looking forward to turning 50, actually. I want to prove (to myself, perhaps) that you can be middleaged and fit and energetic. I have a lot more self-confidence now than I did when I was in my 20s and 30s, and I like to think (at least) that I have more wisdom (though that may just be a delusion on my part!). Anyhow, in addition to what AJock said, I would add that you ought to get yourself a few good role models. I have a friend in her 60s who runs downstairs like a teenager and thinks nothing of walking for hours all over the city (and I mean hours!!). My dad is 85 and he walks 4 miles a day, does Tai Chi, and gardens extensively. The grandmother of my sister-in-law is in her 90s--she gardens, bakes, keeps an immaculate house and is still clever and bright and witty. THOSE are the people I want to be like as I get older.
 
I thought turning 20 was the worst! Then 30 was time to buy some granny clothes. I don't fear aging too much as long as I continue to eat and drink what I do and workout...aging will be a graceful thing. Age is just a number. It is how you take care of yourself that counts, and it will show. Use sunscreen too. I just read the above post and can't believe some of the ages of these ladies here. I would have never guessed...see what I mean?

Charlotte~~
 
Getting older doesn't bother me that much, as long as I can stay active and independent. I know that my lifesyle choices should prolong my independence quite a bit. Right now, I'm 37, and I can imagine being happy and active well into my 60s. The wrinkles and gray hair don't bother me too much.

The thing that really worries me is when I reach that point where I become frail and unable to make it through the day without help. My biggest fear is ending my life trapped in a nursing home. But right now that is a long way away, if it is destined to happen, and I'm doing everything in my power to make sure it doesn't happen at all.
 
Victoria Principle. Now this is the poster child for looking amazing at 56. i mean, honestly. to me she doesn't look to tight. in fact, i would go so far as to say, she looks pretty damn perfect. even her neck is amazing. i was watching her the other night on tv. talking about skincare, and she even washed off her makeup live on tv...she still looked amazing. yes she has admited to having a face lift. for me, this is what its all about. looking amazing. regardless of what gets you there.
 
I am as excited to turn 44 next month as my Kids are to see their next birthdays. Bring it on! I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for me. My 30's were extremely emotionally challenging and built up my character and independant nature more than I ever could have imagined. So far my 40's have been physically and mentally challenging and I am up for it. To me the spots, lines and wrinkles are a curiosity, a road map of my life and I wouldn't change any of it. My body is in great shape and I can control that, I take care of my skin better than I did earlier in life so I'm doing what I can. I'm not too worried about my face because as my daughter says 'we see you with our love glasses on' and they think I'm lovely! I'll take it!:)

Take Care
Laurie:)
 
Waterlily-

I used to feel the same way you do. Now that I'm turning 50, I look back and wish I had just enjoyed it all more and worried a lot less. All of the stuff I worried about never really happened, or happened so gradually I never really noticed, and my life just got better and better. The only regret I have is that I spent so much time worrying about getting older and being sad about it when I should have just been enjoying my life. I can't go back, but I CAN advise you. My teen years were awful, my twenties were so-so, my thirties were much better, and my forties were AWESOME. I don't know what's ahead, but I'm determined to just try to enjoy whatever is in store. Please don't waste another minute thinking about it. Just get out there and ENJOY!!

-Nancy
 
I'll be 49 in May. Honestly, I don't really care about numbers. In my busy skin care practice I have many clients who are in their 60's (not to mention 70's) and still look amamzing. Seriously. They are my living example how to age gracefully. On the other hand I also know many younger folks who look horrible. So, what's more important? Numbers or how well you look after yourself and lead a healthy life style? Aging is inevitable, but many factors are up to you and in your control. Mari
 
Well said Sparrow!!!

To the OP, surgery does NOT equate with ageing gracefully. That's a surefire way of doing just the opposite, in my opinion. I've never seen a single older woman who's had plastic surgery (and you ALWAYS can tell) who actually looks truly *good*. You just look like you've had surgery - you don't look younger. Don't fall into that trap.

Be happy with who you are and what you've got, and embrace your age, whatever it is. I'll admit that turning 30 just SUCKED for me personally - but it was more about ridiculous expectations and where I was (still in grad school, no kids, no house, etc.), not about the age itself. Now, at VERY close to 38, life rocks, and is only getting better. I have a GREAT job that I love, GREAT kids, a GREAT life. My 40's are going to be fantastic! I actually can't wait.

m.
 
So far, I'm loving my 50's.

Like Annette said, I'm healthy, I don't fret about what people think as much and I'm making a lot more money now.

It's great!
 
>Victoria Principle. Now this is the poster child for looking
>amazing at 56. i mean, honestly. to me she doesn't look to
>tight. in fact, i would go so far as to say, she looks pretty
>damn perfect. even her neck is amazing. i was watching her the
>other night on tv. talking about skincare, and she even washed
>off her makeup live on tv...she still looked amazing. yes she
>has admited to having a face lift. for me, this is what its
>all about. looking amazing. regardless of what gets you
>there.


She didn't need to admit that she had a facelift - it's *clear* that she had one! I think she looks ... odd. Well, maybe odd is the wrong word - actually, she simply looks like she's had a face lift. She's got the "face lift" look, which is just so distinctive. She's still quite pretty - but not right. Maybe it's because I remember her from her Dallas days and know that she looks too different in comparison or something? I don't know, but I am always a little bummed out when I see her - like she *could* have been a great role model for being beautiful in your 50's, and she blew it.
 
There are times when I think about it a lot, especially when I see new wrinkles, or a sag that didn't used to be there (darned gravity!). I also agree that "aging gracefully" doesn't include surgery (or bad makeup---anyone see Adrian Arpel on HSN? She's an example of makeup gone over the top. And when she uses her "age defying' makeup on some of the older models, she makes them look like old women with a bad makeup job---worse than before the makeup, IMO).

But I find it best to not focus so much on looks, and when I think of all the things that I have from 49 years of being on this Earth--humor, wisdom, more self confidence, knowledge--and the fact that I'm physically probably more like 35, I'm okay with it.

I do sometimes see an older woman with that frizzy, thin permed hair (the same style on everyone) and wearing old-lady clothes, and I don't look forward to aging that way. But then I tell myself that it's not necessary to do so!

I definitely think that the first time you start to really notice certain wrinkles or jowls or bags or whatever is a hard time. It's like part of your face is aging, but another part isn't, so there is a lack of harmony. But once things all catch up, there is a new harmony that can be just as beautiful.
 
Oh he!! yes, I am fighting it every step of the way! I'm 38 & the difference in how I look now vs. 10 years ago is pretty dramatic. Some is good & some is bad. My smile lines have softened my face a little, but the aging of my skin all over my body is making me nuts & I know there isn't much I can do about it. I have stretch marks that I don't even understand--like, my bra size is an A-, why on earth do I have stretch marks there?

I've had a few minor cosmetic procedures done (botox, fraxel) & they've helped a lot, both physically & mentally. Now I'm starting my savings account for my facelift (or whatever miracle procedure they've come up with by then) in 10 years.

On the other hand, I do have a certain wisdom & self confidence I didn't have 10 years ago. I have to admit I wouldn't trade that to look 28 again. I've matured so much in the last decade, & I suppose that'll continue throughout the next decade.

I guess getting old is a double edged sword.
 
GREAT QUESTION? I will be 35 on April 25th and I will admit I have more self confidence now more than ever I dress young I feel like my years have gotten better. I look forward to what the future holds my Mother has beautiful skin for 54. I am fit, healthy, active. I think its all what you make of it. I was amazed at the ages of some of the women on this forum and they look amazing we can learn from them through exercising and eating.
beth6395
 
I will be 51 in May. I don't look it or feel it. Actually, what is 51 supposed to look like? I have to agree with those that feel more confident and secure as they've aged. I would add that I am better able to take things in stride and don't have some of the angst I had as a younger woman. This much I know for sure, I wouldn't want to go back--no siree. I wouldn't trade in my wisdom and security for a youthful appearance even if I could.

Michele
 
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