A thread a couple of days ago got me thinking....

[Vee]

..... I am trying to have the philosophy "God, grant me the serenity, etc....." but the "bad" thing in my life is something that continues to be present everyday and it is out of my control. My 22-year old is an addict in and out of recovery. It has been a battle because it is true when they say that addiction destroys families. Not only has he been battling this, but was just diagnosed 3 months ago with bi-polar which I have learned is a very difficult disorder to treat. It's pretty much a formula of trying medications until you find the ones that work. We are still in that phase. Of course, he is not completely clean of the street drugs. Although he is not using nearly what he uses in active addiction - he's is still doing things he shouldn't. So every day I worry about him just not waking up and I have learned through therapy and literature that there is not a gosh darn thing I can do about it. I spent years trying to save him at the expense of myself and my family. I am learning how to let go of the burden his addiction has put on my shoulders. I can no longer carry the weight.

Thanks for sharing ladies!

Big issue is an understatement for your situation with your son. Sending healing thoughts your way and his.

 

[pgun]

I'm very judgmental and sanctimonious, and I'm paying the price for it. My older brother died in late December of 2009, and he had many problems throughout his teen and adult years, for which I judged him very harshly and because of which I distanced myself from him. I failed to see that which was good in him, and I kept him away from me because to be close to him at times was painful and at other times was distasteful.

Now he's gone forever, and I'm left with little more than sporadic memories and self-loathing for what my wrongful sense of sanctimony took away from our relationship and my opportunities to tell him that I loved him.

I am trying now to change that. A very, very harsh lesson to learn.

A-Jock

My sister also died 3 years ago this May 23 and I also feel that I could of handled our relationship better. I have lots of regrets of not spending more time w/Robin and getting to know her and I hate myself for that! But I thank God that he spoke to me one day on my way home from work. There was this nagging (sorry God) voice in my head and it was telling me to call Robin and tell her that even thou I didn't show her or tell her that I loved her. It wouldn't stop talking to me! So I called her and told her and she started to cry. She died about 6 months after I called her to tell her that I loved her. I thank God everyday for doing that for me because I think he knew how horrible I would of felt if I didn't tell her that. I know that it was God speaking to me because I NEVER told Robin that I loved her, ever and I never even considered it even thou I would tell my sister Deb and my mom all the time. Robin and my relationship was a strained one. After she died I still had horrible guilt but telling her I loved her did help me ALITTLE. There is still tons of guilt but at least I have that. Turns out my sister had many friends! She touched alot of lives and I missed out on that because of my own judgements of her. When someone passes you always feel the guilt of should of, could ofs. But my sister is in a better place and I will see her when I get there.

Penny

 

[morningstar]

It was a question posed by morningstar about what others around you do that annoy you. The thread took a turn with some posters that talked about themselves having the same annoyances that irritated them about others.

It's funny, as soon as I saw your subject line, I knew your thread was going to be a riff off mine! Lately what irritates me is my inability to stop caring what my insane boss thinks of me and my work.

 

[Pearlstrand]

I'm very judgmental and sanctimonious, and I'm paying the price for it. My older brother died in late December of 2009, and he had many problems throughout his teen and adult years, for which I judged him very harshly and because of which I distanced myself from him. I failed to see that which was good in him, and I kept him away from me because to be close to him at times was painful and at other times was distasteful.

Now he's gone forever, and I'm left with little more than sporadic memories and self-loathing for what my wrongful sense of sanctimony took away from our relationship and my opportunities to tell him that I loved him.

I am trying now to change that. A very, very harsh lesson to learn.

A-Jock

How sad! My sister has turned her back on my brother -- won't even speak to him -- for no reason, other than his troubled childhood. I hope she changes her mind.

A-Jock, don't be so hard on yourself. That's a good place to start. I'm sorry for your loss.