ashaw
Cathlete
Its been a while since I've been on here and I wanted to thank Debinimi for reaching out to check on me. I've been super busy lately, I'm taking online training to learn to become a physical therapy aide in hopes of landing a somewhat decent paying entry level job in the medical field that has benefits.
The truth is my life has slowly been falling apart over this year. To say that this has been the most challenging year of my life is an understatement. I've had to come to terms with the fact that I'm married to someone who has mental illness and lives in a delusional world. He's self employed in real estate but won't look for deals. His nephew told him he needs to get a job, but he won't do that either. I can't reason with him either. He's invested in a gold treasure hunt in the Philippines and has been waiting on the supposed millions for years. In fact when I saw down at the computer, I saw a message he sent to all his friends that he got to invest in this thing that they need to make sure their passports are valid because once a recovery is made we will all charter a plane with our attorneys to set up trusts to receive the funds coming in. He reads travel magazines, watches youtube videos about faraway destinations, private jets and has made all these plans to run a Christian charity and give away millions to worth causes while we live the good life in a big house, nice cars, vacations. He's mentally put a lot of people he knows to work for his charity in various capacities. All the while things are falling apart. He sold his frequent flier miles, he cashed out of his long term care policy and even spent through some money I'd had saved for if something happened to him because there is no savings, no investments, no life insurance. Not even a stable place to live because he bought the house from a friend who owner financed and hasn't made a payment in 5 years. The friend died and now the sons have sent him a letter saying that he has to pay the loan in full to the tune of around $300,000 on April 1. Our power even got cut off for one day in October because we didn't have the money for the bill. But he's not even trying to find deals or work because he believes in his heart that the gold is imminent. I've heard this year and year time and and time again.
I'm at a breaking point mentally. I've been married for 17 years and spent most of it waiting for things to improve. I've worked off and on, but he's always wanted me to tend to running the house and helping him with his business, which as of late has been nothing. I've put myself on the back burner and I have nothing to show for it except a little savings that I didn't tell him about because he could spend through anyone's money. He's borrowed probably a hundred thousand or so dollars from friends and family and he's taken quite a bit of money from me as well. Plus he's run up my credit cards racking up around $50K in debt and hasn't paid our taxes which is around $7K. I'm in a mess and I want out. I can't take living like this anymore. The chronic stress has probably been the reason why I went into menopause so early and I drank to cope with the stress. Thank God I've been sober since June 2020. Hardest thing I've ever done, but by far the most rewarding. I have to figure out how to exit this marriage. The last thing I want to do is file bankruptcy, but at this point that might be the only way I can wipe the slate clean and just chalk it up to a bitter lesson learned. Living with my mom and step dad long term isn't an option because their 5 bedroom house is packed so full, my mom jokes that one day the whole upstairs is going to come crashing into the downstairs.
And to make matters even more complicated, Kevin (remember him) and I have come to the realization that we have feelings for each other. I guess I was subconsciously attracted to him all along and kept trying to suppress things and protect myself. He told me he hasn't been happy in his marriage either and almost moved back to Wales this past summer, but he kept holding out to see if there was anything between us. Which 3 days before my birthday in October, exactly 2 months ago today, it all came out in the open. I really don't know where that situation will go because his schoolteacher wife out earns him and right now his kitchen and bathroom remodeling business has slowed down. I'm sure there are jobs he could do here because he has a green card that won't be affected if he divorces his wife.
STS2.0 was a god send for me this summer. I got lost in the heavy lifting and the feeling of empowerment when things around me were so bleak. I still don't know how I'm going to do all of this because I've felt trapped in this marriage for quite some time. Its just that things aren't getting any better and there's no sign of improvement. He can't work or look for deals but he can go play golf with his buddies today. A few weeks ago, he told me he was going to send an email to all his real estate colleagues asking for a job of some capacity. I was elated and thought even if nothing comes from it, at least its effort. A few hours passed and instead he had conjured up a plan to borrow money from friends and pay a high interest rate on the recover from the gold. A friend wrote him a check for $10K and another zelled him $2500. The only people who ever had the courage to tell him to work were his brother and nephew.
I know this sounds bizarre, but this has been my life. Thank you all for your support and Merry Christmas!
The truth is my life has slowly been falling apart over this year. To say that this has been the most challenging year of my life is an understatement. I've had to come to terms with the fact that I'm married to someone who has mental illness and lives in a delusional world. He's self employed in real estate but won't look for deals. His nephew told him he needs to get a job, but he won't do that either. I can't reason with him either. He's invested in a gold treasure hunt in the Philippines and has been waiting on the supposed millions for years. In fact when I saw down at the computer, I saw a message he sent to all his friends that he got to invest in this thing that they need to make sure their passports are valid because once a recovery is made we will all charter a plane with our attorneys to set up trusts to receive the funds coming in. He reads travel magazines, watches youtube videos about faraway destinations, private jets and has made all these plans to run a Christian charity and give away millions to worth causes while we live the good life in a big house, nice cars, vacations. He's mentally put a lot of people he knows to work for his charity in various capacities. All the while things are falling apart. He sold his frequent flier miles, he cashed out of his long term care policy and even spent through some money I'd had saved for if something happened to him because there is no savings, no investments, no life insurance. Not even a stable place to live because he bought the house from a friend who owner financed and hasn't made a payment in 5 years. The friend died and now the sons have sent him a letter saying that he has to pay the loan in full to the tune of around $300,000 on April 1. Our power even got cut off for one day in October because we didn't have the money for the bill. But he's not even trying to find deals or work because he believes in his heart that the gold is imminent. I've heard this year and year time and and time again.
I'm at a breaking point mentally. I've been married for 17 years and spent most of it waiting for things to improve. I've worked off and on, but he's always wanted me to tend to running the house and helping him with his business, which as of late has been nothing. I've put myself on the back burner and I have nothing to show for it except a little savings that I didn't tell him about because he could spend through anyone's money. He's borrowed probably a hundred thousand or so dollars from friends and family and he's taken quite a bit of money from me as well. Plus he's run up my credit cards racking up around $50K in debt and hasn't paid our taxes which is around $7K. I'm in a mess and I want out. I can't take living like this anymore. The chronic stress has probably been the reason why I went into menopause so early and I drank to cope with the stress. Thank God I've been sober since June 2020. Hardest thing I've ever done, but by far the most rewarding. I have to figure out how to exit this marriage. The last thing I want to do is file bankruptcy, but at this point that might be the only way I can wipe the slate clean and just chalk it up to a bitter lesson learned. Living with my mom and step dad long term isn't an option because their 5 bedroom house is packed so full, my mom jokes that one day the whole upstairs is going to come crashing into the downstairs.
And to make matters even more complicated, Kevin (remember him) and I have come to the realization that we have feelings for each other. I guess I was subconsciously attracted to him all along and kept trying to suppress things and protect myself. He told me he hasn't been happy in his marriage either and almost moved back to Wales this past summer, but he kept holding out to see if there was anything between us. Which 3 days before my birthday in October, exactly 2 months ago today, it all came out in the open. I really don't know where that situation will go because his schoolteacher wife out earns him and right now his kitchen and bathroom remodeling business has slowed down. I'm sure there are jobs he could do here because he has a green card that won't be affected if he divorces his wife.
STS2.0 was a god send for me this summer. I got lost in the heavy lifting and the feeling of empowerment when things around me were so bleak. I still don't know how I'm going to do all of this because I've felt trapped in this marriage for quite some time. Its just that things aren't getting any better and there's no sign of improvement. He can't work or look for deals but he can go play golf with his buddies today. A few weeks ago, he told me he was going to send an email to all his real estate colleagues asking for a job of some capacity. I was elated and thought even if nothing comes from it, at least its effort. A few hours passed and instead he had conjured up a plan to borrow money from friends and pay a high interest rate on the recover from the gold. A friend wrote him a check for $10K and another zelled him $2500. The only people who ever had the courage to tell him to work were his brother and nephew.
I know this sounds bizarre, but this has been my life. Thank you all for your support and Merry Christmas!
