9 years later

Timber99

Timber99

Cathlete
I am sitting here in awe that I am about to type this...my BF and I broke up tonight after almost nine years. Our "anniversary" was next weekend. We had issues, yes, but still, I just woke up in a panic at 4AM and again realized that my life has just changed dramatically. I am so sad, upset, angry, mad. :( It may be "what's best" right now but it hurts like hell to know that I can't be with the person that I love and I am about to start my life without him. Nine years and right now, I can't even look him in the eye and my heart is just aching.
 
Hi Christine
It is so painful to go through a break up. Allow yourself to grieve but try not to let it bring you down. Use this time for you. Try to do things that make you feel good. Maybe call some friends meet for lunch or shopping. This is a hard time of the year to go through a break up. It will get better. Nothing can be more painful than a broken heart. Be strong and keep your chin up. I went through a similar situation a few years ago. It was hard and there were a lot of tears. Take care of yourself.

Susan
 
I know it is hard to start fresh.When someone is a part of your life for so long and then you have to move on without them it feels like you are in a different world.
Like Susan said, spend time with your friends and family.And you never know, with a little time apart you guys may be able to talk things out and get past your issues you were having.
Lori:)
 
Oh, Christine. I'm so sorry. My heart is aching for you. Make sure you spend lots of time with family and friends this Christmas and take whatever time you have to in order to get through this. Although it might not seem like it now, looking back, you'll know that this was the right thing for you.

PM me if you wanna vent or cry or talk or scream:)
 
I'm sorry to hear this, Christine. Surround yourself with lots of friends and family. You will get through this...
 
I'm so sorry, Christine. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you will surround yourself with close friends and family so they can love you through this.

Michele
 
Oh Christine!
I'm so sorry to hear that news! Has this been brewing? Is it a problem that you guys can maybe work through?
I agree with the others, try to keep yourself busy with friends and family - this is definitely a very tough time to be going through this, but at the same time it is a busy season, so try to take advantage of that and keep yourself busy. Plus use your working out to vent out frustrations.
I hope you're doing OK - also feel free to email or PM if you need to vent.
hugs
 
I am so sorry Christine. I agree with everyone else, you need to keep yourself busy and surround yourself with friends and family. It will take time but you will start to feel better.

Diana
 
Christine, I am so sorry. My heart is aching for you too.
Try and keep yourself busy. Do something fun. Get a massage!
Do something good for you.

(((HUGS)))
 
Wow, Christine, I am right there with you--and believe me I know how hard it is especially this time of the year. I'm trying really hard to pretend the holidays don't even exist.

I'm not gonna tell you things'll get better soon b/c everyone heals in their own time, & I for one am pretty sure I'm damaged for life, will probably never get over what I've been through.

But what I can tell you, b/c it's what has helped me, is to focus on the positive things in your life. Remember you're a unique & special person. Do things that are just for you. Concentrate on fitness, work, family, friends.......those are what'll get you through the tough times. Oh yeah, & dogs too.

And maybe a generous amount of alcohol.

ETA: you don't ALWAYS have to keep busy. Sometimes just spending the day on the couch crying your eyes out & eating a ton of chocolate can be very therapeutic.
 
It's been a long while now, but I can distinctly remember breaking up with a boyfriend during the Christmas season. It was really rough but the good news is that eventually the pain goes away. So, so sorry you have to go through this! My heart goes out to you.... Try to hang in there!
 
Oh yeah, & dogs
>too.


I have to give our dogs to him (well we each technically woned one but I don't think you can separate them adn I don't think I can find a pace with a dog). It's the only way :( But I am living in the house that we share for at least another two months and will continue to help if he needs it. If not, I will ask to visit with them periodically.
 
Sounds like it's time for a puppy.

So you guys are still living in the same place? That's gotta be rough.
 
>So you guys are still living in the same place? That's gotta
>be rough.


For a while, at least. I am the one who is leaving but I can't right away. He will be at a training all of next week and for three weeks in January. I figure that it in some ways makes it harder, but in others, well, we lived together for 9 years and we are adults. It's like any other roommate situation...except I want to trip him when he walks by or maybe choke him in his sleep :p Just kidding...I guess I just needed a laugh and boy, that did it!

ugh..this sucks...
 
It totally sucks. But one of the things that keeps me going is knowing we've all been through it. I figure heck, I've been through divorce, this should be cake, right? (well, not really, but whatever
x( )
 
My ex husband and I lived in the same house for a few months after we decided to divorce and even slept in the same bed because we really had no where else to go because of financial reasons. It was extremely difficult.

Hang in there, Christine. I can tell you from my experience that only positive things have happened to me since my divorce. My life is so much better after my divorce. I won't say I should have divorced him sooner because I believe everything happened the way it was meant too.

I believe your life will only get better. Hey, didn't you recently have a bunch of guys asking you out?
 
Yeah, I know. I will be happy again some day. I know that. I've never been through something like this, although I kown that others have an they've survived. There is so much to it:
Two dogs
Our house (we rent, thank god)
His daughter (that is almost 13 and I have known since age 3)
9 years history
law school/the bar/etc.
1.5 year deployment

I can't imagine how his daughter is going to react but I think it'll be pretty bad. We've always hammered the whole "family" thing to her with the three of us & the pups. Thank god, they have a great relationship now but she is going to be effected by my leaving, a new lifestyle in our house, a new relationship for him, etc. We decided to keep things as usual tomorrow night and then he leaves on Saturday morning for the week. I guess after Christmas we can tell her. She and I have tons of things planned, including Build a Bear and Glamour Shots (for his christmas present - guess I need to have her take a few on her own now b/c he isn't getting a picture of the two of us).

Then I think about things like the same vacation that we have taken for 5 years and now have seniority at our cabin. He went there for his whole childhood so by all rights, he should go, but I will miss seeing everyone. My family lives in NJ and my brother at the shore so that'll be fine for me but I will miss my NH vacation.

Sorry...getting hysterical again...

The weirdest part is that we have turned to each other for EVERYTHING in the past years (except recently, I guess, since that is one of his gripes) and now, when I need my best friend the most, I can't turn to him. Last night I woke up in a panic and I wanted to go to him in the other room just to talk but I couldn't.
 
>I believe your life will only get better. Hey, didn't you
>recently have a bunch of guys asking you out?

Yes, and a few of them were HIS FRIENDS (he doesn't know).

I told him last night that I am so sick of being hit on and asked out and all of that and knowing in my heart that the only person I want is him but that can't be. His response: "who is asking you out?" Uh, buddy, you are missing the point here. :eek:

ETA: we do have the luxury of separate bedrooms b/c his daughter is only with us every other weekend. Although, tomorrow night I think that couch will work for me rather than sleeping in bed with him.
 
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