7 & slumber parties - parenting question

sancho

sancho

Cathlete
Hi,

Parenting question here . . . my twins girls are 7 and in 2nd grade. They have been invited to a sleepover birthday party for another set of twins that are in one of their classes. This is the first year they have known each other (since mid-august) and I have not had the opportunity to meet the parents. I don't know what to do. This would be their first slumber party and it's Oct 20th. So far, they have only gone to homes of people that I know, but their social circle is starting to open and I don't know what do about invitations such as this and even just the occasional play date over at someone's house that I don't know the parents. I plan to ask around about this family with other parents that I know to see if I can get some comfort but I wanted to hear what other people's thoughts and experiences are. When I was a kid, my mom let me go over anyone's house and there was never a bad incident . . . but in today's world, that really doesn't seem smart. Thoughts??? Suggestions????
 
Seven to me sounds a little young for a slumber party. Could you maybe take your girls over for just the party and skip the slumbering? This would give you the chance to meet the parents and if you felt comfortable, you could leave for a couple hours; if not, hang around and help out with the festivities.

I'm with you on the "today's world." It's a scary place out there!
 
If the my kids were invited for a sleep over to anyone but a close family member or dear family friend at age 7 the answer would be NO. They are too young.

In fact DD was invited to a sleep over at age 7 or 8 (now that I remember) and we brought her home after a couple of hours. She still attended the party but left early, and she was not the only one to leave early.

PS my "kids" are 22, 20, 16 and 14 ;)
[font color=purple][font size +1]Judy "Likes2bfit"

***We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it.
William Osler [/font]
 
I would let your girls go to the party and pick them up later that night. Just ask the mom when a good time might be to pick them up. You can always say you have plans for the next day and need them up early etc..... I always do this with my girls and they are 12 and 14. I let them each do one slumber party (they were over the age of 10 and I knew the mom) and they hated it. They each wanted to go to bed and were annoyed when some of the other girls wanted to stay up "all night". Now they WANT me to pick them up the night of the party and no sleepover and we all sleep better for it.

Jen
 
My 7 year old just went to her first slumber party this last weekend. She came home grumpy and tired and totally out of sorts. I personally think 7 is too young. I was really on the fence, but I have know this family for awhile and thought it would be okay. I agree that maybe letting them have a half sleepover and picking them up at 9 or 10 would be better. It was a real lesson for me:)

Susan
 
Do you let your 7 year old go to classmate's homes for an afterschool play-date even if you don't know the parents?
 
Hi L,

My daughter had a slumber party when she turned 8 (the other girls were still 7), and it went fine. She also started sleeping over friends' houses around that time. Having said that, it was always friends whose moms I had met.

I agree with the idea of having them stay for a few hours and coming home for bedtime if that works better for you, and if you can hang around for a while that would be good to ease your mind too.

Another idea is to invite the girls (and their mom too if you can swing it) for a playdate at your house sometime between now and then. Or maybe meet at a park or something just to meet everyone and get to know them a bit. I'm sure if you discuss it with their mom she will be happy to put your mind at ease.

HTH,

Jodi
 
You know, it really depends on the child. My daughter had sleepovers at age 7 (she's 8 now) and never had problems, but she had also slept away from home at a relative's house. We always made it clear that she could call us anytime if she needed to, but she was always fiine.

If you're unsure about the other family, go ahead and give them a call...let them know that this is your daughters' first sleepover and that you'd just like to stop by and chat for a few to meet them first. The girls may be a bit out of sorts the day after the sleepover (I know that my DD is always a bit crankier due to less sleep), but slumber parties are just so much fun for little girls and one day of crabbiness on their behalf is okay to deal with. Just make the next day a quiet day at home.
 
I agree with Jill. I don't have a daughter, but a DS. Do boys have slumber parties? ANyway, I just remember that I loved slumber parties as a child. I'm not sure how old I was when I started though.
LD
 
If I don't know the parents then my child will not stay the night at a friend's house, no matter how old they are. Period. You just never know what the other parent's set of values is, what they consider appropriate talk and t.v., etc. Once your kids are exposed to something or something happens to them, you can't take it back (we have had to deal with things that my son learned last year just spending a couple of hours at someone's house; it is so sad when they lose innocence!).
That being said, my kids do have sleepovers with friends whose parents we know VERY well and absolutely love and trust and we "swap" kids quite often and we have been doing it since my oldest was about 5. Still, when they are invited parties of parents we don't know, we will pick them up after a couple of hours - even if the parents we trust are willing to leave their kids there. I just think that children are our most precious gems and I won't risk them to someone else's judgement, though I admit that I am very protective of my kids (probably because of things that DID happen to me when I was younger).
 
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