Who One Star Rates a Friggin' Birthday Thread?!?

morningstar said:
I could care less about the stars. And I really get tired of everyone's overwrought concern about this forum. If you like it, use it. If you don't, don't. This shouldn't be our main source of human interaction and we shouldn't get so caught up in it. As much as I like some of you, I don't really know you and have no idea what kind of people you are off the forum - and you don't know me, either. And that's cool. This forum is useful for information and for entertainment and when things get heated around here, that's when everyone gets excited and starts posting like mad. So clearly, controversy is more entertaining and therefore, why try to stop it? I don't want everyone to be nice and get along - how boring is that? Bring on the backstabbing and bitch slapping; I'll get the popcorn and a good time will be had by all.
Click to expand...

Ditto......:)
 
cataddict said:
Put me right in the "who cares if I'm one starred" camp. IMO it's not even worth crusading to have the star rating system removed. Just ignore it and move on. JMHO, of course.
Click to expand...

pixiesis said:
Ya'll are such a sweet and kind bunch for caring about this, but I have to agree with a few others that the star thing is really small potatoes. If we had ignored the one-star stalker all along, things would have been better in a few ways.
Click to expand...

I absolutely hear what you are saying and know you are well-meaning. But with all due respect, "ignoring" a one-star stalker is an easy answer for those of you who have not been targeted. I think if you were one-starred on every single thread you started, or thread you were even associated with (which has happened to me since I pissed off a few of the girls on another thread), you might feel a little differently. And I think you would definitely feel hurt if you were one-starred on a birthday thread. It sends a HUGE message.

Whether you want to talk to someone who has been targeted by bullying or social aggression, or you want to look at the research that exists on the subject...today it would be hard to find a story in which just "ignoring" the problem made it go away. More and more, it is becoming evident that that advice just is not effective in detouring the behavior...and is just making the people targeted feel frustrated and shut down.

And Morningstar, in reference to your love for all things bitchslapped, I am ALL for a spirited debate. If I may use an example between Govtgirl and I on the DC Sniper thread, I consider it a great debate and my favorite exchange on the forum to date. It was interesting and eye-opening...and I certainly learned a lot about myself and other people on the forum. And the thing about it...Govtgirl wasn't a coward about it. She said everything to my face and she stood up for her principles. She had strong opinions, as did I, and she wasn't afraid to express them. She didn't lurk around in the shadows and stalk me on subsequent threads. She said what she meant at the exact moment she meant it, and then we were able to let it go. I have HUGE respect for that.

Like Carola said, even if you don't agree with what I'm saying, if we never say anything or do anything to try to make it better (and by better, I don't at all mean perfect or all-harmonious), it will never change. I am willing to be called a fight starter or forum moderator, even if I couldn't disagree more, if it brings things to a head and improves things for a few forum members (myself included) the next time.

IMHO...Jonezie
 
Oh crap!!! Now how will I know when there is a big cat fight going on???????

That one star just alerts people to an immature dispute, rather than an intelligent debate (which by the way I happen to find very interesting). I have learned quite a bit during true debates and have learned to ignore the 4th grade she said/she said junk.
 
elliemom said:
Oh crap!!! Now how will I know when there is a big cat fight going on???????

That one star just alerts people to an immature dispute, rather than an intelligent debate (which by the way I happen to find very interesting). I have learned quite a bit during true debates and have learned to ignore the 4th grade she said/she said junk.
Click to expand...

LOL, Ellie...so true!

:)
 
Jonezie, I respect your opinion, and I'm glad SNM changed the rating--the whole thing was totally pointless. But I would have guessed that people who were openly critical of you would have hurt your feelings more than the 1-starrer.

I still think it's true that even noticing, much less expressing hurt over, the 1-starrer is very gratifying to him/her. I don't think I've been 1-starred and I honestly would not care if it were to happen to me, on a b-day thread or any other thread. I have been bullied in the real world so I don't say this glibbly. This isn't real bullying, just internet forum crapola. Go ahead 1-starrer, get yourself 10 more usernames and 1-star my a** all day! Have yourself a party on me!!!

In all seriousness, though, I am sympathetic to all those who feel hurt about this.
 
Amy...I gotta say, I love your kick ass attitude. Have you seen Death Proof? Where Kurt Russell gets the crap beat out of him by a bunch of girls at the end? You remind me a little of those women. Take that, stalker!! I LOVE it!

There are days when I feel like that, too. Most days, actually. And it doesn't bother me at all. But there are always days when you already feel a little worn down by life and then even the littlest things can get to you. It happens to the best of us. It's like when your 3-year-old throws a temper tantrum. 9 times out of 10, you can tune it out until the kid crumples in exhaustion. But that 10th time, when you are shoe shopping in Nordstrom's....and trying to drown your crappy work week in Stuart Weitzman's. It's those times when that usually ridiculous and slightly funny tantrum just gets on your last nerve. You know what I mean?

PS...A PERFECT example is Tygra's thread...One of Those Days. That is exactly what I mean!
 
Last edited:
Yes, I have seen "Death Proof" and I'm nowhere near that bad-ass, but I did cheer the ladies on there at the end. I never knew Kurt Russell could be so menacing!

Of course I know what you mean. When all it takes is just one more thing, it's going to happen regardless.
 
Jonzie.....I understand what you're saying. It would be great if we all walked around will a shield of armour every day but we dont. Like you said, referencing Tygra's post, some day's are just tough.

I have been "low starred" on one of my threads a while ago and it bothered me. What's weird is, in everyday life, I have become a pretty tough cookie. But oddly, that low star rating bothered me and I couldn't even tell me you why.

Maybe it is because, like so many have stated, we do not know each other personally, we only know tidbits of information - some more than others depending on how much the poster wants to share about their own life.

So because we don't know each other personally when we choose to share a personal thought, struggle, information, etc., on the forum - it is something we wanted to ask or share with other so when it gets a low rating it's hard NOT to take it personally.
 
Forget being one starred, I want to know why no one has ever started a birthday thread for me and I've been around here for 9 years!!!!:(:(:(:(:(
 
Worknprogress said:
Jonzie.....I understand what you're saying. It would be great if we all walked around will a shield of armour every day but we dont. Like you said, referencing Tygra's post, some day's are just tough.

I have been "low starred" on one of my threads a while ago and it bothered me. What's weird is, in everyday life, I have become a pretty tough cookie. But oddly, that low star rating bothered me and I couldn't even tell me you why.

Maybe it is because, like so many have stated, we do not know each other personally, we only know tidbits of information - some more than others depending on how much the poster wants to share about their own life.

So because we don't know each other personally when we choose to share a personal thought, struggle, information, etc., on the forum - it is something we wanted to ask or share with other so when it gets a low rating it's hard NOT to take it personally.
Click to expand...

SheWolf said:
Forget being one starred, I want to know why no one has ever started a birthday thread for me and I've been around here for 9 years!!!!:(:(:(:(:(
Click to expand...

WorknProgress...thank you SO MUCH for your post. I really connected to it. You so hit the nail on the head...with every word.

Linda...if you tell me your birthday, I will make it my mission to start one for you. If you don't mind being one-starred on your birthday thread. Or you might want someone else to start it for you (someone a little less despised by the opposing team)...but I will definitely chime in with a big Happy Birthday! Be so grateful you can't hear me sing!

PS...as long as we are talking birthdays...anyone else's this month?

:)Jonezie
 
Last edited:
Jonezie said:
I absolutely hear what you are saying and know you are well-meaning. But with all due respect, "ignoring" a one-star stalker is an easy answer for those of you who have not been targeted. I think if you were one-starred on every single thread you started, or thread you were even associated with (which has happened to me since I pissed off a few of the girls on another thread), you might feel a little differently. And I think you would definitely feel hurt if you were one-starred on a birthday thread. It sends a HUGE message.

Whether you want to talk to someone who has been targeted by bullying or social aggression, or you want to look at the research that exists on the subject...today it would be hard to find a story in which just "ignoring" the problem made it go away. More and more, it is becoming evident that that advice just is not effective in detouring the behavior...and is just making the people targeted feel frustrated and shut down.

IMHO...Jonezie
Click to expand...

With all due respect to you as well, Jonezie, you don't "know" me and don't know that I haven't experienced "bullying" as you call it IRL. I do not equate immature anonymous "one starring" with real life bullying. It's an anonymous forum after all. I think that whoever is one starring may be doing so for any number of reasons that have very little to do with you---perhaps they don't like the topic or are just tired of it. I believe it can be more random and less devious and personal than you may think. Personally I've never one starred any of the threads, I just move on. I have done a :rolleyes: to myself when it's something that IMHO has been discussed to death or that I know will cause a gigantic brouhaha, but that's as far as I go.
 
fit_fairy said:
I started a birthday thread for you in 2008 my friend:

http://www.thecathenation.com/forum/showthread.php?t=230545&highlight=Happy+birthday+linda

I don't know where I was in 2009- I think that was right after my foot surgery so I probably forgot :(
Click to expand...

Hey Catherine - How are you? I sure do miss you! And can you believe I never saw that birthday thread! I feel so special now! Thank you (a little late):D

Worknprogress said:
Awww......when is your birthday, Linda?
Click to expand...

Jonezie said:
Linda...if you tell me your birthday, I will make it my mission to start one for you. If you don't mind being one-starred on your birthday thread. Or you might want someone else to start it for you (someone a little less despised by the opposing team)...but I will definitely chime in with a big Happy Birthday! Be so grateful you can't hear me sing!
Click to expand...


Nevermind .....:eek::eek::eek::eek:
 
Linda, I couldn't believe that I had never started a b-day thread for you so I had to search LOL!

I miss you too. I don't post here much anymore but I am on facebook ;) I am slowly recovering. Have had some unexpected complications that have slowed the process up more than I'd like. But I'll get there, it's just gonna take more time. Thanks for asking!!
 
cataddict said:
With all due respect to you as well, Jonezie, you don't "know" me and don't know that I haven't experienced "bullying" as you call it IRL. I do not equate immature anonymous "one starring" with real life bullying. It's an anonymous forum after all. I think that whoever is one starring may be doing so for any number of reasons that have very little to do with you---perhaps they don't like the topic or are just tired of it. I believe it can be more random and less devious and personal than you may think. Personally I've never one starred any of the threads, I just move on. I have done a :rolleyes: to myself when it's something that IMHO has been discussed to death or that I know will cause a gigantic brouhaha, but that's as far as I go.
Click to expand...

Cataddict...this has been a topic of discussion for SO many years. And has offended so many people. Here are just four of the (many) threads dedicated to the star rating system:

http://www.thecathenation.com/forum/showthread.php?t=250802

http://www.thecathenation.com/forum/showthread.php?t=273365&highlight=star+rating

http://www.thecathenation.com/forum/showthread.php?t=272239&highlight=Clarissa

http://www.thecathenation.com/forum/showthread.php?t=272334&highlight=openness

You can also just look back over this thread and see that some forum members were bothered or hurt by their threads being rated. But the question is...if it bothers this many people and goes back this many years and takes up this much time and is creating such a negative, defensive climate on the forum, why wouldn't we want to change it?

You've got people rating their own threads before the "lone star marauder" can get to them. You've got people being one-starred for humbly posting a request to lose the star rating system. You've got people being one-starred for saying nice things about Cathe workouts (where there is not a bit of malice intended). And you've got people one-starring a birthday thread 45 seconds after it's started.

I'm all for having great discussions, heated ones if they become that. I'm of the camp that it would be boring if we all just got along. But if there is an opportunity to improve, modify, or eliminate a system that seems to be deemed by a majority of forum members as hurtful, petty or useless, aren't you for that kind of progress?

Jonezie
 
I don't think you can say a majority of the members think the star rating is hurtful. Taking a look at just this topic, of the people who had a opinion it's about 8 that agree with you and 11 that don't care and just ignore the star ratings.

This is a forum, and I'm in the camp that says you should not let such a non-event take such control of your life. There are WAY more important things to be standing on your soap box and ranting about.

Take a look at how many people are rating your posts, it's not just a "lone star marauder". Many people have rated and to have the average star ratings it took more than one person one starring them. And you cannot star rate your own thread.

I still get a feeling that your campaigning for progress is just a cover. I think you more wish to control the tone and environment of the forum. That just cannot be done and you will wear yourself out trying.
 
ImFiddY said:
I don't think you can say a majority of the members think the star rating is hurtful. Taking a look at just this topic, of the people who had a opinion it's about 8 that agree with you and 11 that don't care and just ignore the star ratings.

This is a forum, and I'm in the camp that says you should not let such a non-event take such control of your life. There are WAY more important things to be standing on your soap box and ranting about.

Take a look at how many people are rating your posts, it's not just a "lone star marauder". Many people have rated and to have the average star ratings it took more than one person one starring them. And you cannot star rate your own thread.

I still get a feeling that your campaigning for progress is just a cover. I think you more wish to control the tone and environment of the forum. That just cannot be done and you will wear yourself out trying.
Click to expand...

ImFiddy...you are EXACTLY right about the 11 who just don't care...don't they fall in the category of people who think the rating system is "useless" when I said the majority feel it is "hurtful, petty or useless?" These are usually the same members who encourage others just to ignore them because they don't mean a thing or influence their decisions about what they will and will not read.

But it you're interested in the hurtful/petty argument, you can take a look at the links I posted or do a search of your own to see that it has been going on for years and has been important enough to other forum members to start threads of their own.

I always appreciate your opinions, although they are usually 180 degrees from my own. You definitely make for a colorful and interesting discussion!

:)Jonezie
 
There is a difference between the majority who just ignore the star ratings and those that feel hurt/harmed/defamed by it. I'm saying I think most people who expressed a opinion in this topic did not think people should feel so effected by it. They themselves ignore it or it has no effect on them.

If that many people are saying the star rating has no effect on them then I think your theory of so many people feeling harmed by the rating is not true.

I think people should have thicker skins and move on with life rather than allowing a one star to ruin their day.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top