Hey All:
I've got another "how do I handle it?" dog situation! Remember when it used to be that you'd have to deal with your friends and their unruly kids? Well now it seems like my friends all have dogs, not kids, and now I am coping with that!! Here's the story. Sorry so long.
DH and I have never had an issue with people visiting with their dogs. However, in the last two years a good good friend of mine (we were at university together) has adopted two different dogs. Both are rescue dogs. One is a mix of malamute, husky, shepard, the other is a 150 pound newoundland, who is cute but just huge and slobbery. She insists on bringing these dogs everywhere. When her first dog was a puppy she asked if she could bring him and I said sure, I understood she didn't want to leave a puppy alone all day. Somehow that has translated into "alway bring your dogs." Seriously, since the 1st adoption we have not done one thing together that didn't involve the dogs! Usually we go hiking which I love but don't always want to do. I don't mind the dogs once in a while but it seems like she's forcing that experience because it can include the dogs. For instance, I invited her to come see the new place and right away she sent me an email agreeing to our hike in the local woodland are, when I never mentioned a hike! My idea was more, lunch, maybe some antique stores, etc, you know, kind of show off my new area a bit. I'm dealing with DH on this as well because even though he is a huge dog lover, he finds it obnoxious that she would haul these two big dogs around, also because the shepard mix is rather odd, won't walk on anything but carpet and needing to be hand fed! She carries the dog from room to room when she visits and leads to her entire visit being 'The Dog Show'. This leads me to the second issue.
The shepard dog is AGGRESSIVE. As far as I know she has not gone after any people but she is seriously dog aggressive and unpredictable. One minute she's fine and playing and the next she has some dog pinned by the throat. (I personally have witnessed her attack my sister's dog twice, her brother's german shepard, and a 17 year old pomerainian (spelling?). None of these dogs was being aggressive in the least.) My friend also told me that her dog has been kicked out of doggie day care AND Canine Good Citizen due to this. My friend always has a reason as to why her dog is doing this, the latest being that the dog doesn't like the smell of meds so any dog her dog attacks must be on meds (my sister's dog has never been on meds). OK. So. I could probably deal with this except for one reason. Tenants. There's a rental cottage on our acreage, currently rented by a family with a 3 year old son, Nicky. I feel as if I can't have this unstable dog on my property with a 3 year old running around! Nicky stays by his yard, and I can tell my friend her dogs MUST be leashed here (which she won't be happy about) but the honest truth is I don't really want the aggressive dog here at all. Why take the chance?! I would be so upset if anything happened to Nicky, and there's also the issue of liabilty. DH and I would be screwed, legally. I know what I have to do is just tell her, and be honest as to my feelings but every time I pick up the phone or start an email to her I chicken out. My words seem so mean! At the same time I'm starting to resent having to deal with this.
Any thoughts, advice?
TIA!
Sparrow
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
I've got another "how do I handle it?" dog situation! Remember when it used to be that you'd have to deal with your friends and their unruly kids? Well now it seems like my friends all have dogs, not kids, and now I am coping with that!! Here's the story. Sorry so long.
DH and I have never had an issue with people visiting with their dogs. However, in the last two years a good good friend of mine (we were at university together) has adopted two different dogs. Both are rescue dogs. One is a mix of malamute, husky, shepard, the other is a 150 pound newoundland, who is cute but just huge and slobbery. She insists on bringing these dogs everywhere. When her first dog was a puppy she asked if she could bring him and I said sure, I understood she didn't want to leave a puppy alone all day. Somehow that has translated into "alway bring your dogs." Seriously, since the 1st adoption we have not done one thing together that didn't involve the dogs! Usually we go hiking which I love but don't always want to do. I don't mind the dogs once in a while but it seems like she's forcing that experience because it can include the dogs. For instance, I invited her to come see the new place and right away she sent me an email agreeing to our hike in the local woodland are, when I never mentioned a hike! My idea was more, lunch, maybe some antique stores, etc, you know, kind of show off my new area a bit. I'm dealing with DH on this as well because even though he is a huge dog lover, he finds it obnoxious that she would haul these two big dogs around, also because the shepard mix is rather odd, won't walk on anything but carpet and needing to be hand fed! She carries the dog from room to room when she visits and leads to her entire visit being 'The Dog Show'. This leads me to the second issue.
The shepard dog is AGGRESSIVE. As far as I know she has not gone after any people but she is seriously dog aggressive and unpredictable. One minute she's fine and playing and the next she has some dog pinned by the throat. (I personally have witnessed her attack my sister's dog twice, her brother's german shepard, and a 17 year old pomerainian (spelling?). None of these dogs was being aggressive in the least.) My friend also told me that her dog has been kicked out of doggie day care AND Canine Good Citizen due to this. My friend always has a reason as to why her dog is doing this, the latest being that the dog doesn't like the smell of meds so any dog her dog attacks must be on meds (my sister's dog has never been on meds). OK. So. I could probably deal with this except for one reason. Tenants. There's a rental cottage on our acreage, currently rented by a family with a 3 year old son, Nicky. I feel as if I can't have this unstable dog on my property with a 3 year old running around! Nicky stays by his yard, and I can tell my friend her dogs MUST be leashed here (which she won't be happy about) but the honest truth is I don't really want the aggressive dog here at all. Why take the chance?! I would be so upset if anything happened to Nicky, and there's also the issue of liabilty. DH and I would be screwed, legally. I know what I have to do is just tell her, and be honest as to my feelings but every time I pick up the phone or start an email to her I chicken out. My words seem so mean! At the same time I'm starting to resent having to deal with this.
Any thoughts, advice?
TIA!
Sparrow
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
