Won't be checking in after all
- Thread starter RaeC46
- Start date
Hi there,
Just in case you stop in at the forums again - I'm sending you a big (((HUG))). I know what you're going through - I had 2 miscarriages before this pregnancy. The waiting is the worst ... you feel like you can't move on AND you are expecting the painful experience of the physical process. If you need any support, just ask. Several people on this forum have lost babies and may be able to offer you a bit of comfort. In the meantime, get a good heating pad and a big bottle of your favorite pain killer. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Hang in there,
arancini
Just in case you stop in at the forums again - I'm sending you a big (((HUG))). I know what you're going through - I had 2 miscarriages before this pregnancy. The waiting is the worst ... you feel like you can't move on AND you are expecting the painful experience of the physical process. If you need any support, just ask. Several people on this forum have lost babies and may be able to offer you a bit of comfort. In the meantime, get a good heating pad and a big bottle of your favorite pain killer. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Hang in there,
arancini
I am not expecting so I don't normally post here. Except last month when I was pregnant for all of two weeks before I miscarried. I knew it would happen. I have two children and when I was pregnant I felt terrible. I didn't feel terrible. I guess I know how you feel. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish there was more to say.
dlandkk808
Cathlete
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have been there and want you to know that many women have also and you're not alone in what you're going through. Wishing you a successful pregnancy in the very near future.
Lisa
Lisa
jennifersmom
Cathlete
I am so sorry. Please know you are not alone in losing a pregnancy
although it is a lonely experience.
Sorry
although it is a lonely experience.
Sorry
Just to let you know that I will pray for you. Miscarriage is a very difficult thing. I have experienced five, myself. I do have ten children,but it does not make up for the loss of losing a baby.
I normally do not posts on this site either, for my youngest is 6 years old, but I do look at it on occasion, because I have been pregnant so many times.
Please keep us posted to let us know how you are doing.
HUGS AND HUGS,
Cheryl
I normally do not posts on this site either, for my youngest is 6 years old, but I do look at it on occasion, because I have been pregnant so many times.
Please keep us posted to let us know how you are doing.
HUGS AND HUGS,
Cheryl
Thank you for all your kind words. It feels good to think that someone understands and cares. It really feels like everyone around me has gone back to normal and i am just stuck. I know this will never go away and I guess I don't really want it to. Not even sure what to do with myself. I wanted this baby so much and it just hurts that it was taken away. I don't know how I am going to get past this. I keep thinking I just want to get pregnat again but I am so afraid that number one I am doing that to replace this baby which sounds so awful and number that I will lose this baby. I don't know but it would make sense that my body needs to recover. But I still have this overwhelming desire to be pregnat. I guess only time will help me patch things back together. I am wondering what the miscarrige will be like. Would that be awful to ask what it is going to be like. I don't want to dredge up bad feelings for anyone but I have no idea what to expect. I have a feeling my emotions will hit me full force then. I really want to let it happen naturally but my doctor said she can only give me two weeks. I really don't want them to do a d&c. I am rambling and crying so I will leave it at that. I don't know what to do or say or be. DOes it really get better?
nkhansen1
Cathlete
I have lost six babies myself, so I know how you're feeling right now. I am so sorry. I had the same feelings about doing it naturally, but sometimes that didn't happen. It is such a lonely and empty time, and a part of you will always be sad for the loss of this little life.
If you miscarry on your own, you can expect some very intense cramping and heavy bleeding. You may even have the urge to push- that is a very difficult part to deal with. You can also expect to pass large clots and lots of endometrial tissue. It usually lasted about a week for me. Be sure you're in touch with your doctor for a follow up sonogram to make sure your body has taken care of everything properly. Also, if you soak more than two pads in an hour, call your doctor immediately. Do not use tampons.
If you have to have a d&c, you will be under general anesthesia. You will have moderate cramping and bleeding for a few days afterward.
Both ways of miscarrying are hard in their own ways. The d&c is faster, but for me was harder emotionally to deal with. But it was also hard to go for so many days actively losing the babies naturally. I am just so sorry you have to endure this. The sadness does gradually diminish, but you will always have a place in your heart for this baby. Hugs to you. Feel free to private message me if you need to.
Natalie
If you miscarry on your own, you can expect some very intense cramping and heavy bleeding. You may even have the urge to push- that is a very difficult part to deal with. You can also expect to pass large clots and lots of endometrial tissue. It usually lasted about a week for me. Be sure you're in touch with your doctor for a follow up sonogram to make sure your body has taken care of everything properly. Also, if you soak more than two pads in an hour, call your doctor immediately. Do not use tampons.
If you have to have a d&c, you will be under general anesthesia. You will have moderate cramping and bleeding for a few days afterward.
Both ways of miscarrying are hard in their own ways. The d&c is faster, but for me was harder emotionally to deal with. But it was also hard to go for so many days actively losing the babies naturally. I am just so sorry you have to endure this. The sadness does gradually diminish, but you will always have a place in your heart for this baby. Hugs to you. Feel free to private message me if you need to.
Natalie
I am so sorry, Rae! I will pray for you also. My friend just went through a M/C and she said she preferred to have the procedure because she couldn't stand the thought of losing her baby over a period of a week.
Please keep us updated. I think it is natural to want to get pregnant again - especially since you wanted to be pregnant so bad to begin with. Just be sure you give yourself enough time to heal emotionally and physically.
Chrissy
Please keep us updated. I think it is natural to want to get pregnant again - especially since you wanted to be pregnant so bad to begin with. Just be sure you give yourself enough time to heal emotionally and physically.
Chrissy
annettej123
Cathlete
I am so sorry to hear that. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
dlandkk808
Cathlete
I don't mind at all sharing with you what happened when I miscarried. I don't know how far along you are, but I found out at the end of my first trimester (11 weeks to be exact) that I had a missed miscarriage and I opted to try passing everything naturally. It didn't happen after five days so my dr. prescribed me medication that basically forces you to go into labor. Even with that it took me about a week for everything to pass. I ended up going to the ER because I had profuse bleeding and even then, they weren't able to tell me if everything had passed and told me to give it another couple more days. I ended up going to the dr. a few days after the ER visit to get an ultrasound and that's when I got confirmation that everything was out of my uterus. It feels like really bad cramping and comes and goes like contractions. I passed a lot of clots and huge pieces, one even the size of a liver, because I was so far along. I bled and spotted for weeks after. If you're earlier in your pregnancy, the bleeding should be less. If you have any concerns, don't be afraid to call your dr. I called my dr. because I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be looking for.
The feeling of wanting to be pg right away is natural. I think most women feel that way. I know I did and I had the same thoughts as you. I opted to wait because my miscarriage was my third pregnancy and I already have two children. I'm in the process of TTC, but I waited because I knew for myself that if I miscarried again so soon after my last miscarriage, I would be a wreck and I had two children already. My first instict and feelings however was to want to be pg right away. If I didn't have any children, I probably wouldn't have waited. We waited until my EDD came and then started to TTC the month after.
It's a really emotional process to go through, but you will get through it and as time passes, it gets easier. My thoughts are with you and don't hesitate to call your dr. if you have qxs or concerns esp. since this is your first miscarriage and you don't know what to expect.
Lisa
The feeling of wanting to be pg right away is natural. I think most women feel that way. I know I did and I had the same thoughts as you. I opted to wait because my miscarriage was my third pregnancy and I already have two children. I'm in the process of TTC, but I waited because I knew for myself that if I miscarried again so soon after my last miscarriage, I would be a wreck and I had two children already. My first instict and feelings however was to want to be pg right away. If I didn't have any children, I probably wouldn't have waited. We waited until my EDD came and then started to TTC the month after.
It's a really emotional process to go through, but you will get through it and as time passes, it gets easier. My thoughts are with you and don't hesitate to call your dr. if you have qxs or concerns esp. since this is your first miscarriage and you don't know what to expect.
Lisa
I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm almost recovered from an ectopic pregnancy - I go for (hopefully) my last hcg test today to make sure the level is back to 0. I don't know what a typical miscarriage is like so I can't help you there, but I wanted to tell you about Babycenter.com - they have a great community over there on the grief and loss message boards. It sounds depressing but it's actually a very uplifting board and you'll be able to find some great information regarding what you should expect.
I know what you mean about trying again - it's so scary to think that this same scenario could happen again and that there isn't much to prevent that. This week has been difficult because this was the week that we were going to tell everyone we were pregnant, and we're closing on our first home tomorrow, so we were very excited to be moving into a new home with a baby on the way.
Be sure to have a long talk with your husband about what he's feeling - I think when these things happen we tend to focus on ourselves (I did) and we forget that our DH's lost a baby too.
Take care,
Shannon
I know what you mean about trying again - it's so scary to think that this same scenario could happen again and that there isn't much to prevent that. This week has been difficult because this was the week that we were going to tell everyone we were pregnant, and we're closing on our first home tomorrow, so we were very excited to be moving into a new home with a baby on the way.
Be sure to have a long talk with your husband about what he's feeling - I think when these things happen we tend to focus on ourselves (I did) and we forget that our DH's lost a baby too.
Take care,
Shannon
Rae,
All the feelings you are experiencing are very, very normal. we all want to be pregnant again after a miscarriage. For we all had so many hopes and dreams for this baby, to just be taken away with what seems to be a blink of an eye. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be pregnant again. Not that it will replace the baby you are losing now - but to start all over with a new baby.
I had 5 m/c's. the one that was the hardest, was when I was about 17 weeks. Everything was fine at my ob appontment at 15 weeks, the heartbeat was heard. Two weeks later I just spotted a tiny bit, I went in and they couldn't find the heartbeat. An ultrasound determined that the bay had died about one week before that. I was devastated!
I must add that I became pregnant five months later and had a healthy 9 lb 12 oz boy. He will be 13 next month. If I hadn't m/c'd, he would not be here. The one I did miscarry was a girl. I did name her Bernadette. Now I have Michael. So, look at things in a different perspective once this is all over for you.
I will be praying for you and your loss. It is such an empty feeling. Just to let you know it was nothing you did and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. I was told that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.
Hugs,
Cheryl
All the feelings you are experiencing are very, very normal. we all want to be pregnant again after a miscarriage. For we all had so many hopes and dreams for this baby, to just be taken away with what seems to be a blink of an eye. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be pregnant again. Not that it will replace the baby you are losing now - but to start all over with a new baby.
I had 5 m/c's. the one that was the hardest, was when I was about 17 weeks. Everything was fine at my ob appontment at 15 weeks, the heartbeat was heard. Two weeks later I just spotted a tiny bit, I went in and they couldn't find the heartbeat. An ultrasound determined that the bay had died about one week before that. I was devastated!
I must add that I became pregnant five months later and had a healthy 9 lb 12 oz boy. He will be 13 next month. If I hadn't m/c'd, he would not be here. The one I did miscarry was a girl. I did name her Bernadette. Now I have Michael. So, look at things in a different perspective once this is all over for you.
I will be praying for you and your loss. It is such an empty feeling. Just to let you know it was nothing you did and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. I was told that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage.
Hugs,
Cheryl
I just wanted to thank everyone for you kind words. I think you all know how much that means. I am sorry to have not replied, I don't want you to think I am ungrateful. I am just struggling to have some normalciy. Nothing has happened yet in regards to passing the baby. I am going to have another ultasound next week to see what is going on. I spoke to a nurse on the phone and she was just awful. I don't what to say anything to offend any nurses out there because I believe there are truly some great ones I just haven't had many. She asked why I was calling and when I told her she said well you aren't pregnant what do you need? She was pretty rude and basically told me I was never pregnant and acted like I was either crazy or making it up. I told her that the doctor told me I was miscarrying and that she was going to prescribe something to help and she didn't believe me. I can't understand how someone can be so cruel. So I actually don't know what is going on. No bleeding or cramping yet and nothing since april. I just can't wait to go to my ultrasound and talk to my doctor. This is all just very overwhelming and similar to when my son was born. My nurse was awful and condicending and I felt like I had no control. I ending up needing a emergency C section which they put me under for and I woke up wondering what the heck happened. I guess that is why I don't want to have a d/c. To similar. My family hasn't been very supportive or helpful, they ,mostly just act like nothing happened. This sucks.
Thanks again for everything. It means a lot to me.
Thanks again for everything. It means a lot to me.