Why do men?


Why do men fight hard to stay in a relationship that clearly isn't working? I'm trying to stick to my guns and ended my relationship and in my email to remind my ex of the items I will need returned to me when he comes to get his stuff he writes "Are you sure this is what you want?" It just makes things harder. It makes me second guess even though I know I need to do this. He's the one who acted wrong and won't make the changes, why keep fighting?
He's the one who's said so many times "I'm not changing myself for anyone" and now I made the change to out the relationship. I'm angry

sorry to vent all over the boards...ugh!
Like he told you, he is not willing to change. If you go back to him now, you will only regret it later. And even though he may change in the future, you can't count on it and should not let your life revolve around it. Just worry about yourself for now and good luck!
Hi Divagirl,

Just wanted to say to stay strong and hang in there with your decision! It really does seem like this is the best thing for you since it seems like you've been really unhappy in this relationship.

>Why do men fight hard to stay in a relationship that clearly isn't working?

Because men don't like to lose. If you were to stay with him, he'd dump YOU shortly after. That way he'd *win*. Stay strong!
"Don't know what you've got 'til it's gone." Only it's too late now and any he remains unwilling to change, not to mention that at this point, any change would not be genuine.
Maybe because he feels you are not serious!!!??? I don't know, I am not sure if I am missing something. But what is the problem, if you are absolutely serious about ending that relationship and he says, "Are you sure that's what you want?" Yeah, that's what I want, and that's the end of the discussion. He gets his stuff, you get your stuff, DONE!

I just get the impression that you are not quite sure that you want to break it off either and you maybe just looking to trigger a reaction from him. If that's what it is, my advise would be, DON'T DO IT!!!

I think you will need to do serious soul searching as to what YOU want and if this is the guy that you want to be with. No relationship is easy, most of them require a lot of work on both parts, nothing is ever perfect. I am not, you are not, he is not!!

If you think he is worth it, stick it out, work with him, if he is open to it. If he is not, kick him to the curb. But this half-hearted back and forth is very unproductive and will take a toll on your well-being.
I dated a guy who I had a horrible time getting rid of. He kept wanting to get together to talk about 'why'. Eventually he gave up but not for a lack of trying. He would come over with coffee and ask if we could talk. He wanted to go to church with me. He even blamed the whole thing on a medical condition that he was being treated for. He promised to change everything about himself that I didn't like. He just didn't get it. I still have nightmares about it.

Thanks I needed to see where I am not being firm enough. Trying to bow out gracefully and always trying to be too nice
I heard someone say once "pay attention to what men do not what they say". Before you start having second doubts ask yourself has this guy done anything for you to prove that he really wanted to be with you? From what I remember from your posts probably not.

I can relate to what you are going through. I had an X who I knew deep in my heart was not right but I did not have the courage to break things off with either. When I eventually did I became a differant person who is a lot more happy now. So stick it out. You will not regret it in the long run:)

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