Why do I feel fatter even with loss?

A

amynicole

Cathlete
This may sound strange but it seems like as I lose weight I am not feeling thinner, I am feeling fatter. I have lost 33 lbs so far (and still have 87.5 to go) but it seems like with each loss, I just feel like the same big fat cow. Some days my self worth is just so low and I berate myself for letting myself become obsese. I use to be really thin- anorexic in fact and being fat was my biggest fear and I was thin when I got married. With each pregnancy I gained 65 lbs without losing in between and all of a sudden I woke up one morning and weighed 255 lbs. I feel like I much have been so huge to start out and I am losing this weight and it is not making a bit of differnece in how I look. I mean I know that the bigger your start out the longer it takes to be noticible but not one person has noticed or commented on my loss after 33 lbs!! If fact I had someone ask me yesterday if I was pregnant- talk about a blow to the ego.

When will people notice?? Anybody else ever feel like this? I am looking forward to when I hit 135 and people notice and ask how much I lost and I can proudly annouce 120 lbs. I know that day will come but its just sooooooo slow.

Marci
 
Hi Marci,

I wish I had the answer - in fact I wish I could lose some weight, 2# would be nice - no matter what I do, the scales don't budge, even when I eat right, and exercise.

I bet you wanted to bop that person who aked if you were pregnant - what a cheek !

Don't forget how well you have done so far - 33lbs is FANTASTIC :-jumpy ! You have done soooooo well, just keep on the right track, and in time you will notice a difference. I always find it is my DH to notice any difference in me, and my Dad always seems to notice.

Hang in there - you are doing well !!!!!!!!

Anna :)
 
Hi, Marci! Congratulations on embarking on your journey to fitness! I just have a couple of concerned comments.

Although you say you "used" to be anorexic and being fat "was" your biggest fear, it sounds to me like those fears and that mindset are still with you. These fears and the extreme inner focus on fat could be what's preventing YOU from patting yourself on the back for what you've achieved so far - and that could be contributing to feeling "fatter".

Further, I think it would be helpful for you to ask yourself these questions: Why do I expect others to comment on my fat loss? and why is that so important to me? To rely on the reactions of others to keep you motivated, as well as to give you your sense of self-worth, is self-defeating at best and destructive at worst. Stick with your health and fitness program for YOU, not for anyone else!

Finally, what kind of exercise program are you following right now? Is there a good mix of cardio, strength training and flexibility? Is it challenging and consistent enough for you? It could be that there's something out of balance in terms of the workout mix, and that could be contributing to how your feeling.

I hope this helps - please post back and give us more information on what your current program is like, as well as any other heart-thoughts.

Annette Q. Aquajock
 
Hi Marci! I just wanted to tell you that I have felt the way you feel as well. I am currently losing weight after having two babies within two years and it is a sloooow process. Like you I find that as I lose weight I notice just how much more I have to lose. Sigh. One thing that helps is trying on both too big and too small clothes every couple of weeks to really show myself that I am making changes. I was feeling like I hadn't made any progress lately and I tried on a pair of shorts that I wore when my first son was five months old. Now my new baby is five months old and the shorts are way too big. That was a good feeling. Why don't you try to do something like that? You need to find reminders of just how great you are doing. Keep up the hard work. Heather
 
Hi Marci,

Something I've come to realize on this journey is that you can lose weight physically, but you have to lose mentally as well.
There are days I feel like I am all over the place. I don't know what that's about other than the fact that I know I'm not done with myself yet, I want to do so much more with my body, but still, rather than feeling like, "wow, look how far you've come Donna!" I more like, "D@mn! Will I ever lose all this fat?"
I've come to realize that although my body has lost over 200lbs my mind hasn't!

I'm not like this everyday, but some days I have to pull out the old picture of me and say to myself, "that's not you anymore!" And I have to realize that I didn't gain the weight overnight, so I'm not going to lose it all overnight!
And you know, maybe it's good we do struggle so hard to lose Marci! If it were easier, maybe we wouldn't value every hard earned pound we lose! It's hard, but "nothing worthwhile comes easy!" And when I finish tweeking, sculpting and building what I've got, I'll be able to hold my head up proudly and say, "I DID THIS!" "It was hard work, but look at what I've done for myself, and with myself!"
And you will too Marci! I told you a long time ago I'm dragging you with me, even if it's kicking and screaming! :)
So don't look at 87lbs to go, glorify the 33lbs of fat that you've lost! Glorify how much healthier you've become and continue to become through your workouts, and lastly, glorify the fact that your children will grow up and see their mom leading a healthy lifestyle, and know that your example will pay off when your children learn healthy eating habits, enjoy exercise as part of their daily lives, and don't have the food issues that so many of us have had.


Stop worrying about the numbers, think about how good you feel and how much good you're doing for yourself! The weight will continue to come off, and I know it's important to feel like you look good, but the only one you really need to please is YOU!

And you don't need to have others tell you how good you look!

However, if this is important to you:
"Marci, you're looking marvelous girl! But those fuzzy slippers you're wearing ruin the ensemble!" :)

Donna

Fitness~ it's a journey, not a race!
 
Donna, you and Aquajock are so uplifting and funny and convincing. It is very moving to realize how many people you help and inspire with your frequent, articulate and informative posts.

Thank you for all your support.
 
Hi Marci,

A close friend of mine has lost nearly 40#'s since the birth of her son 13 weeks ago. The first 20 was fast & quite noticable. The slow but steady loss of the next 20 is hard to see because of her clothes. Understandably she's in transition clothes which are loose & baggy. She usually has a long shirt on & even though are winters are mild, we do bundle up a little which isn't always figure flattering.

It's hard to see the pounds melt off someone you see frequently. I'm also afraid to ask how it's going in case she's hit a plateau & is feeling a bit sensitive. Your post made me realize I need to be a bit more observant & verbal with encouragement.

Speaking of which, you're doing a heck of a job! Congratulations! People are going to notice but it's more important that you proudly recognize what you've achieved.

Debra
 
I hear ya! I'd lost 66 pounds before anyone noticed. And it did matter to me that people noticed. It can be a great motivator. In fact, I could have written the same post you wrote. And I, too, felt fatter after I lost. I think because I was lying to myself about how big I was. A real case of denial. It's hard to accept. And seeing myself in the mirror didn't help, either. I was constantly surprised by how awful I looked, but it was as if I didn't know that person because the REAL me wasn't fat.

Don't give up. That's the important thing. Just don't give up--no matter what. Don't give up when people don't notice. It will happen all at once. Everyone will notice at the same time. Don't even give up when you don't lose. Just don't give up. You don't want to go backward. Let us help you. There are some amazing people here. We'll help you stay motivated. They've helped me more than they know.
 
Hi Marci,

I think many times people just aren't very observant. When we're going through a change that's so important to us, it's on our minds a lot, we notice all the small details and think they should be obvious to everyone. Many times they aren't. We tend to forget people have their own problems and concerns and, let's face it - some folks are just very self-centered. And as someone else mentioned, if people see you every day, they tend to not notice the gradual changes.

On the other hand, sometimes we notice the changes in others, but, for whatever reason, we don't say anything. We tend to forget how much it can mean to others to be generous with our compliments.

You should be proud of your progress! Anytime you need a little encouragement - you know you'll get it here!

Angela
 
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